joriel Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 So we all know what "No Contact" is and we all have our own reasons for doing it. Some of us want our exes back, some of us just want to heal and move on, and others of us started out wanting our exes back but now could care less what they do. I wanted to start this thread to have a sort of depository for what people do to keep themselves from contacting their exes. Please don't post your break-up story, but please do tell us what it is that you do to keep yourself from finding ways to contact your ex. So, how do you personally maintain NC?
Author joriel Posted October 10, 2006 Author Posted October 10, 2006 I started the thread so I should probably answer. 1. I wrote down all of the things she said to make me feel inadequate on the night of our break-up. The first thing I do when I want to contact her, is read that list. 2. I come here, to LS, and read other people's stories. I'm more objective with people here than with my own story. If I can apply my advice to someone else to myself then I'll usually keep up with NC. 3. I picture her making out with someone else and then having the nerve to come over and kiss my neck. Yep, it's easy for me to remember the good times we had, but when I start to think about the way it ended, it just pisses me off. I don't have any urge to contact someone when the mere thought of them pisses me off.
Summer2000 Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 I tell myself that he does not deserve me to call him.. He made the mistake and he knows where I am at.. If I call him that makes me look weak and then he knows he has me right where he wants me.. No way! I also look at all the bad things he has done to me and it out weighs the good. I also tell myself if he really loved me he would never hurt me the way he has.. If someone loves you they will not let you hurt.
Summer2000 Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 I was thinking, if you and your ex broke up there has got to be reasons behind why the break up happened.. If you go back to your ex now, it will never be the same.. It could never be what it once was.. So I tell myself that as well all of the time..
db75 Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 I basically have just thrown myself into work. I try to hang out with friends as often as possible. I create a lot of little projects for myself, especially on the weekends when I don't have work to keep me busy. Maintaining NC is friggin' hard, but necessary.
Guest Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 I basically have just thrown myself into work. I try to hang out with friends as often as possible. I create a lot of little projects for myself, especially on the weekends when I don't have work to keep me busy. Maintaining NC is friggin' hard, but necessary. yeah i think its ten times as hard if you have just moved and dont have a job yet or have many friends in ur new area though. i did the obvious, deleted pics numbers addresses, blocked and deleted off msn, myspace. tore up photos, threw stuff away execpt some of the usful things that u kinda need, but all the memories box and fluffy toys he gave me. but the wierd thing is he says he wants to stay friends and i just want to be left alone, he keeps emailing me and recently weve had a major discussion on the txt which i was kinda hard to him which i feel so much better for but also kinda guiilty and hes confusing the hell outta me by being so nice. i just want to tell him to get lost which i have already basically done, why wont he take the hint? how can i get him to leave me to just get on with my life, baring in mind he ended things with me
SurvivingHB Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 - Exercise regularly - Changed my phone number, so I would not stare at my phone and hoping that he would call - Call a friend or IM a friend when I want to call him - Remind myself that he did not want to be with me and he was ready to move on without me when I miss him like crazy
Summer2000 Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 Wow, that is a good one to change your phone number.. I don't think I could do that just yet.. I give you credit for doing that!
Rooster_DAR Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 Same here, I changed my phone numbers. I also told the secretaries at work that if she calls, tell her that I quit my job and moved out of state. Cheers!
silentcharon Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 I just tell myself that I'm moving on, and that I'm done with this BS. No is No.
Guest Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 hahaha i like that rooster. i should try that. for me, i buy myself things that will make me happy and im planning to workout everday starting tomorrow (i just didnt have time yet).
Josalina Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 the best advise is to imagine they r with someone else, or remember the terrible way they treated u, do u really have the time of day 4 sum1 who broke your heart and your world to pieces so freely?
So Over U Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 "No more email" She said I just have to keep away from the email. She said just stop the intial contact, because his provocation is in NOT responding. He sticks his head in the sand when it comes to responsibility. It's like my hands literally itch!! So Over U http://tryingtogetoveryou*******.blogspot.com/
Rooster_DAR Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 "No more email" She said I just have to keep away from the email. She said just stop the intial contact, because his provocation is in NOT responding. He sticks his head in the sand when it comes to responsibility. It's like my hands literally itch!! So Over U http://tryingtogetoveryou*******.blogspot.com/ Keeping connection does two things, and both aren't in your favor. Feeds the O/P's ego Pushes the O/P away further. Regards,
Josalina Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 what o/p stand 4? old prat? as my ex is certainly that! no honestly i feel a bit silly not knowing what it means as a few people have put it? lol thanks.
Josalina Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 oh hang on is it other persons? is that it?, cor now i really do feel stupid lol.
Tormented Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 Well...my situation is a bizarre one, so N/C for me hasn't been that hard. But there is a BIG part of me that wants to talk to him because the breakup was sudden and hostile. It has left me with MANY questions that I have tried to lay to rest, but I'm having a hard time with it. I NEED to know so I can bury this relationship for good. He has tried to contact me in various ways, but I have ignored his attempts. But I DO have weak moments, and despite all that he did to me, I still think about him, about us, and what COULD have been but will never be. So, during those weak moments and I have a strong urge to contact him, I keep from doing so by... 1. Picking up the phone and calling a family member/friend instead. 2. Bury myself in a book. 3. Go for a hike...I live in the mountains. 4. Allow the scene between us on the last day we broke up to run over and over in my head until my anger over rules my urge. 5. But the thing that helps me the most is a saying I once heard that has always stuck with me.... "The man/woman worth crying over is the one who won't make you cry." So very true... ~T~
Summer2000 Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 Wow, I love this statement: "The man/woman worth crying over is the one who won't make you cry." This is so true
everlong Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 i bought a taser gun, and every time i break nc i zap myself i have a ton of welts now! ouch! lol
Summer2000 Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 That what I need is a taser gun! Hook me up with one! lol
Amour77 Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 "The man/woman worth crying over is the one who won't make you cry." So very true... ~T~ Nice one! It is so true!
shawn_68 Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 If I ever feel the urge to call or email I think along the following: I gave this person the very best of me. I held nothing in reserve. Apparently, in HER eyes, this was not good enough to be a life-long partner. She looked at the very best of me and wanted out. Why would I EVER want to contact someone like THAT? She didn't see my value. But I do, and I know that someone down the road will as well. And so I choose the path that leads to being over her.
Adunaphel Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 I think about unpleasant things that the person I'm trying to go no contact with said to me and ask myself: would you allow *anyone else* to tell such things to you? Then I concentrate on how he treated me on some occasions and I ask myself: would have *anyone else* got away with it? Another question I ask myself is: do you generally like people like him? If you were not interested in him, would you like to have him as a friend? (would you trust him as a friend?) If the answers are different than "no" the questions become obviously pointless. ----------- What helps the most is always a new interest - in someone else. All distractions are useful!! Unfortunately they sometimes can become a problem of their own.
Josalina Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 shawn, brill post u got there and yet very true if someone can't see the best in you and the most you have to offer as being invaluble why bother. nice one mate.
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