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Why do you have to get marry to have sex, why the need to??

samsungxoxo

By samsungxoxo
in Marriage and Life Partnerships

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samsungxoxo Established Member

samsungxoxo

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Seriously why is there soooo much pressure on a girl (and some guys too) to have sex when marry?

 

Thinking about it, I don't want kids and I probably don't wanna marry either. What if you just want a long term relationship, have known your partner for years enough to trust him and already want to have sex but not marry him.

 

What is it with that much pressure of waiting till marriage. Yes I'm still a virgin but I don't believe in that anymore, I'm more like believing in waiting till the right moment comes and when you have accomplish your goals. And the goals does not mean getting marry, everyone has different goals in life, mines is getting a degree in psychology, being a professional.

tikigods Established Member

tikigods

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I think it depends on the people you hang out with and the way you were brought up. Plenty of people have sex long before marriage, and its within their rights to do so. Its really up to YOU if you feel that its important to wait for or not

pricillia Established Member

pricillia

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as long as you are not going to those BJ parites and it is with someone that you love and trust then you should experience intimacy.

sourgirl

sourgirl

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a lot of people believe that it is a good idea to wait until marriage to have sex, a lot of people also believe that it is important to be married to someone before you live with them - i'm not one of those people. i believe that it is important to both have sex with and live with your significant other before you marry them so that you know that you are compatible before you commit for life. and good thing too - i lived with an ex for two years before we broke up, and that was painful enough. i'm glad that i didn't have to go through a formal divorce as well.

 

i've been living with my current boyfriend for nearly two years now, and while i would love to be married, i am happy that we didn't rush into it and are taking the time to share our lives, and our bed, before we wed.

 

i read an article this morning that said that there are some fundamental deal-breakers when it comes to marriage, and if you are hesitant about any of them before you commit - don't do it. i can't remember all of them, but they included money, sex, family, children, free time, and a handful of others. how could you know how you'll deal with finances if you haven't lived together and shared expenses? and how do you know how you'll deal with sex, needs, fantasies etc. if you haven't slept together?

 

those are my beliefs, and i don't presume to hold anyone but myself to them. there are many, many happily married couples who did not live together or have sex before marriage.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

Posted
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i've been living with my current boyfriend for nearly two years now, and while i would love to be married, i am happy that we didn't rush into it and are taking the time to share our lives, and our bed, before we wed. .

couples who live together before marriage have a higher rate of divorce than couples who do not. so your theory does not hold water.

pricillia Established Member

pricillia

Posted
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couples who live together before marriage have a higher rate of divorce than couples who do not. so your theory does not hold water.

 

it is not her theory, just her personal belief.

 

 

(Quote Sourgirl)

those are my beliefs, and i don't presume to hold anyone but myself to them. there are many, many happily married couples who did not live together or have sex before marriage.

Flyin in Clouds Established Member

Flyin in Clouds

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... I don't want kids ... everyone has different goals in life, mines is getting a degree in psychology, being a professional.

 

What kind of psychologist can you possibly be without kids? :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

As to marriage, well because it is traditional?

 

Maybe to find the anwer as to why you could make that your thesis topic in psych.

Flyin in Clouds Established Member

Flyin in Clouds

Posted
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as long as you are not going to those BJ parites and it is with someone that you love and trust then you should experience intimacy.

 

BTW, where can I sign up for one of those BJ parties... ? :lmao:;):)

 

(yeah, I'm so old in my day it was make out parties... how times have changed... sigh.... and I never had any of the good looking female teachers come on to me either. Dang. I was born too soon. )

Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted
couples who live together before marriage have a higher rate of divorce than couples who do not. so your theory does not hold water.

 

A 'statistic' quoted by ultra-radical fundies to get young little ultra-radical fundies to stay away from the horrors of 'gasp' sex. That is to say, bad research full of hooey.

Scrivdog Established Member

Scrivdog

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couples who live together before marriage have a higher rate of divorce than couples who do not. so your theory does not hold water.

That's because the majority of those who actually wait until marriage are Amish ..:cool:

StayClose Established Member

StayClose

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BTW, where can I sign up for one of those BJ parties... ? :lmao:;):)

 

(yeah, I'm so old in my day it was make out parties... how times have changed... sigh.... and I never had any of the good looking female teachers come on to me either. Dang. I was born too soon. )

 

Sorry, but those BJ parties or "rainbow parties" are mostly an urban myth. While many people have heard of these parties or have heard that somee kids at their schools have held them, journalists who have written about them don't find kids who have actually been to these parties themselves.

 

http://www.nerve.com/screeningroom/books/rainbowparty/

 

This myth is spread by three things...

 

The tendency of teenage boys to brag about sexual experiences they never really had,

 

The tendancy of teenage girls to accuse each other of being sluts,

 

The tendancy of right-wing conservatives to look for any evidence of the moral decay of society.

sourgirl

sourgirl

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i've heard that there was a study that found that a couple is more likely to stay together if they didn't live together before marriage. however, i think that probably people who don't live together before marriage often don't do it for religious or cultural reasons, and those people probably wouldn't get divorced for the same reasons.

 

regardless - everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and opinions, and it's important not to feel attacked when someone's opinion is different than yours. that's what makes this world so interesting.

 

as for those rainbow parties... i had a really long talk with my friend's 15 year old daughter about three weeks ago and during the conversation she mentioned something about people at her school having rainbow parties. luckily i knew what one was cuz they talked about it on an episode of law and order - phew. i asked if she had ever been to one and she said no, but she was adament that they went on at her school. thanks for posting the link to that article, i'm gonna read it and pass it along to my friend (the mom) i'd like to think that they're just an urban myth :)

Ross_K Established Member

Ross_K

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But why wait until you've completed certain goals Ailec?

Adora Member

Adora

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But why wait until you've completed certain goals Ailec?

 

possibly because she doesn't want to be side-tracked, she doesn't want to lose focus of what is most important right now to her. In a way, I commend her for doing so, this way she doesn't get involved with someone and they feel that she isn't giving them her all, when she has other matters right now she is trying to complete. You go girl! Do what you think is best for you. :D

  • 2 weeks later...
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samsungxoxo Established Member

samsungxoxo

Posted
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What kind of psychologist can you possibly be without kids? :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

As to marriage, well because it is traditional?

 

Maybe to find the anwer as to why you could make that your thesis topic in psych.

 

That doesn't mean I won't work with kids when I become a psychologists, off course I will. As for me becoming a mother, no way, I don't want to have kids. That would mean 18+ years of dedication, teaching, training them morals, values, not to mention discipline every single day, I have no time nor space or patience for this, and I'm not suited to be a mother. In addition, I have NO real desire on going through the pregnancy, too much.

 

 

 

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samsungxoxo Established Member

samsungxoxo

Posted
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But why wait until you've completed certain goals Ailec?

 

B/c that way, a lot of time would have pass by and by then I would know if what I'm experiencing is either intense passion or just pure infatuation. And in a way if you're on your way of becoming a professional, along with having your degree on your hands, then you can make better desisions, plus like the previous poster say you don't lose focus on your path.

 

As as now, I'm not ready for it yet, don't feel ready at all. I'm guessing that my the time I become a first timer at it, I'll get nervous.

 

 

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