love4ever Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 I'm curious because I wondering how long I'm going to wait on the guy I'm seeing. I don't want to fooled into thinking something is going to progress if it is not.
Yamaha Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 I'm curious because I wondering how long I'm going to wait on the guy I'm seeing. I don't want to fooled into thinking something is going to progress if it is not. I dated for a year and a half and it never went to bf/gf status!!! More like a FWB thing with lots of sex.
Adunaphel Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 Three months (and 4 actual dates) - with a guy I never got together with. With my ex bf, it was 2 weeks (and a single date).
Pyro Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 I'm curious because I wondering how long I'm going to wait on the guy I'm seeing. I don't want to fooled into thinking something is going to progress if it is not. About a month and a half for me. Our one-year anniversary is coming up.
Walk Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 It was 3 months for this relationship. Approximately 4 or 5 months in the one before this. I don't like waiting longer than 4 months without establishing some kind of exclusivity clause. Otherwise I'm putting way too much of my heart on the line without any give from him. I don't mind dating without being gf/bf as long as I understand the rules and they apply to both of us. So if we aren't exclusive, then that means I'm also free to date others. Otherwise, I've found men tend to see "dating" as: You can't date others, but he can. And I'm not kosher with that...
bluechocolate Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 I never waited longer than 3 months before establishing if things were going to go further than just dating. If both parties are happy with the status quo, then by all means, carry on. If not, then move on.
allina Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 Our one-year anniversary is coming up. Yay Happy one year Riddler, you seem like a great guy, I'm happy for you. For me, 2 months with most recent ex. Only a few weeks w/ the current bf, we became exclusive very quickly.
Pyro Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 Yay Happy one year Riddler, you seem like a great guy, I'm happy for you. For me, 2 months with most recent ex. Only a few weeks w/ the current bf, we became exclusive very quickly. Thanks Allina. I consider myself a great guy. (Enough tooting my own horn for the day). Lol. For our one-year, she is surprising me with a weekend getaway to Chicago. I would say she is a keeper. Some old friends of mine became official after a couple of weeks as well and 4 years later they are still together and living together.
allina Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 Thanks Allina. I consider myself a great guy. (Enough tooting my own horn for the day). Lol. For our one-year, she is surprising me with a weekend getaway to Chicago. I would say she is a keeper. Some old friends of mine became official after a couple of weeks as well and 4 years later they are still together and living together. Weekend getaway sounds great And I hope to be a success story like your friends, so far so good
KittenMoon Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 About a day. If you want to casually hang out, you're my friend. Anything else, you're my boyfriend.
luvtoto Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 I'm curious because I wondering how long I'm going to wait on the guy I'm seeing. I don't want to fooled into thinking something is going to progress if it is not. Wait on a guy?! Wha? Never wait on a guy. Uh uh. Make him wait on you. Whenever I start new relationships, I set boundaries in the beginning. I don't want to be taken advantage of or taken for granted. A boundary I use is how much I let him see me. If he wants to spend more time with me, then maybe he should move the relationship to the next level. Then we both get what we want. I have other boundaries, but this one seems to work the best for me. I don't care how long we've been dating, I won't give 100% of my time and attention until we are married. It's not playing games, it's being smart.
paradisefound Posted October 16, 2006 Posted October 16, 2006 with my current bf, I told him approximately two months and a week after we started sleeping together (which we're considering the first date because we were really good friends before that for about three months, and doing all the same stuff - sans the physical). His response was at the time was basically "what? no! why do we have to define this?" basically, I pointed out that we were dating, and unless he wanted me to be dating other people, I needed something solid to tell them. (I've had the hardest time with that since forever, since I have a million guy friends. There's always some guy that's just met me going "so, you're just seeing some guy? But he's not like your boyfriend or anything, right?" And at that point, I OUGHT to lie to avoid a scenario where I end up on a date in order to not hurt his feelings. But I'm regrettably stupid and generally tell the truth.) However, I told him he'd better not be sleeping with other girls from the first time we had sex. I mean, it's gross to be sleeping with someone who is sleeping with someone else. There's STDs going around, not to mention the fact that it's just weird and icky. I mean, the serial monogamy of one night stands is one thing... but someone who is ACTIVELY sleeping with someone else? An STD could show up at any time! You don't know what that other person is doing! Now, of course, he's forgotten how we ended up as gf/bf. The last person who asked him, he told it "just happens." Happens my ass! What it comes down to was that I had a great deal of leverage. We were having amazing sex that blew his mind, basically, and I was standing there saying "look, if we're just seeing each other, I'm still in a position where I'll have to at least date other people. Not that I want to. And it's going to significantly affect how much time I'll have for you." His choice was to go with the title or go back to being single.
Author love4ever Posted November 2, 2006 Author Posted November 2, 2006 Well we have been friends since high school and didn't get together till five years after. And right now I'm in school about 4 hours away so unfortunatly it's a LDR. He said if it wasn't for the distance he'd be my bf. He has told me he loves me and I love him plus neither of us is seeing anyone else.....But the one year mark just hit and despite the distance I believe we should be together because once I'm done school I'll be moving back home and be much closer to him.
CurvyGurl Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 These days it seems like they want to go exclusive right away. Serial monogamy.
IpAncA Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 About a couple of weeks. Either you want to be with me or not.
lovestruck234 Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 About a couple of weeks. Either you want to be with me or not. I like your style!!
justagirl1121 Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 I've gone out 5 times with this guy i was set up with from a friend. It has been almost 2 months. I guess it is dating, but not bf/gf....not sure what diff is exactly....exclusivity? This is first time I've ever started relationship this way. I'm not in a hurry. But I get nervious about what's going on. 5 times in like 7 weeks is heavy though, no? casual? serious? took till after 4th date to get a kiss. time 5 i was at his house watching the game and we cuddled and stuff. so i guess it probably should be defined within the next few times we hang out right?
skimmy Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 My current bf and I started off as friends, after about a month we realized we were falling in love with each other, and decided to start off our official relationship as bf/gf, so the answer is, immediately.
Marcus1963 Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 I'm curious because I wondering how long I'm going to wait on the guy I'm seeing. I don't want to fooled into thinking something is going to progress if it is not.you should be able to make a rough prognosis since day one. if the guy acts like hes really into you then you can have the "talk" like 3 months into the relationship.....if he seems reserved then youll never be a great couple,dont waste your time with him...... you dont need a man who is not in love with you!!!!! and if he is not totally into you after a few months then he never will be, don't fall for these stories that say he fell in love slowly after a year
justagirl1121 Posted November 10, 2006 Posted November 10, 2006 When starting off as dating instead of meeting as friends first....and you go at it a bit slow, how long should you go without contact? He's pretty loose, cuddley, touchy-feely. I get hte impression he's into me, and I like him too. After we hang out I'm really good for like 2 days, then feel like I shoudl contact him, or wonder why he isnt contacting me. And I'm just talking about a few texts every couple days or something...but what about calling? I don't want to seem like I'm needy and clingy. But I don't want him to think im not interested. I made the attempt to call over the weekend and he called back within a couple hours but then was the one who invited me over....i know it's my turn to plan something. i responded to a txt he sent which got no response and sent a "happy over the hump day" txt with no response so i didnt say anything today. wondering what my next move should be!
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