ataloss Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 Those of you who asked for the breakup from your SO, do you feel guilty?
syz Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 I haven't before because I've always made sure it was exactly what I wanted and that I had done everything possible to salvage the R as well as being clear about how I was feeling so there was no misunderstanding me. By the time I did leave usually they knew it was coming and had to happen. Why are you feeling guilty? Apparently a lot of people do and many even regret it.
Rooster_DAR Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 There are lot's of reasons to feel guilty, you just need to come to terms with why you feel guilty. Are you afraid of hurting the other person? Do you have unresolved issues? Have you fallen out of love, but still love the O/P? Are you having an affair/cheating? I believe feeling guilty is is a sign that you still love the other person, but there are issues deep down with the relationship or with yourself. Aside from that, guilt should not ever be used to keep the relationship hanging on, it hurts the O/P worse in this case. Dig deep, find out why you fell guilty and talk with your S/O about it. Sure, it may hurt the O/P, but it's a lot worse when you hang on for your own reasons. Regards,
BoyInHiding Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 But I still feel guilty. I haven't actually gone through with anything yet, but will soon be posting my story here for all to read. Of course I feel guilty, I'm not having an affair, I've been a loyal, loving (if not in love...) husband, attentive, present in every sense. I feel guilty because I carried on in a relationship with a good person, but with whom I have little affinity. We've been together 12 years now, and except for the first few months have never felt as if this relationship was "home". I came to the conclusion in April of 2006 that I simply could not continue, but the remorse over causing someone so much pain has prevented me from acting. The guilt of putting a person I do care about in such emotional turmoil is no easy burden to carry. But the alternative is I grow to hate her. It is possible for two good people to NOT be good together, and that is my situation, and for that I feel guilt. And it isn't because I've been unfaithful, or feel romantic love for her. It is because I am about to cause a good person a lot of pain. Look for my story soon.
Lor Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 Then please don't string her along and don't be harsh about it. Just end it. The worse thing you can do is to drag it out and out and out. Be clear, be firm, be understanding, and above all be compassionate. Its really hard on the one being left if they are told empty promises and maybes. If its done right, you can still be friendly towards one another; it doesn't have to be bitter.
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