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What excuses did they give


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Posted

or what type of behavior did they exhibit just prior to bedtime to try to avoid having sex with you, while they were involved with someone else?

Posted

I'm not sure that people having sex with affair partners necessarily stop engaging in sex with their partners.

 

Ie, that's not a true sign. Because sometimes the affair fuels the need to have sex with anyone, even if thinking of the other person at the time.

 

Why are you asking exactly?? Care to give us some information to make an informed decision?

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Posted

Ok, I have posted previously that I am suspecting h of affair for many reasons, one being our sex life has declined by about 50% in the past 6 weeks or so. He used to want it almost daily, now he seems to want to avoid it, although he does like to phone my from work saying he wants it that night, but then no follow through. Although he is not working extra, he now has started saying he's tired alot just before getting in bed, even if he has said earlier something about we'll have sex tonight. Or another example is he will get into bed and then immediately say something real critical of me, not having anything to do with sex, sort of like he is deliberately trying to provoke me. And when we do have sex, afterwards he has started saying things like "why are you so horny all the time?" even though we are having sex half as much as before. After a few days of no sex we planned to have sex last night. He gets in bed, says the I'm tired comment, then just befoer I get in bed he critcizes me for something, then when I make an advance he sighs (audibly) and says "Ok, we can have sex", then afterwards I got the why are you so horny all the time comment. I'm just wondering if other H or W seemed to come up with things to try to avoid sex and if so, what sort of things they did?

Posted

By your screen name, I'm wondering if you were born in 1955 (I was in 1956). Men that reach (ah-hem) our age sometimes have trouble. Could that be it? If he asks for it, maybe he can't perform like he used to and now has performance anxiety? Low performance could have to do with beta blockers or diabeties or some other medical issues. Any chance of that? As far as the critical comments go, if the above might be true, he's frustrated and inadvertantly taking it out on you. Not sure because I don't know much about this - I'm just saying what's common to men my age. Maybe it helps if your man is my age.

Posted

Sounds like your "H" is upset about something. Could be an affair sure, also could be something wrong at work... a financial problem, a personal problem with something at home.. the possibilities are endless.

 

Find out what the problem is! Dealing the "affair" card, if there is none can be very damaging to a relationship.

Posted
or what type of behavior did they exhibit just prior to bedtime to try to avoid having sex with you, while they were involved with someone else?

 

Could be an affair. Could be a mid-life crisis. Could be depression. Could be pressure at work. Could be lots of things.

 

Have you asked him why he's no longer interested in havng sex with you? Is it another woman? Have you asked if he's tired of you? Does he want a divorce? I'd ask him why the change? We used to do it and now we aren't. What happened? It's OK to let him know it concerns you.

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