Simba Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 I started a new job about 6 months ago, and have gotten very close to my married boss who is 10 years older than I.I just ended a 7 year relationship (2 years married), because I was falling for this other man. He says he is not happy with her, but we have really only talked about it after a couple of drinks. She is from another country and he feels guilty for breaking it off, so instead he is trying to make her want to leave him, for financial reasons guilt etc... We have kissed and thats about it. I have attempted to seduce him to see how far I could get him to go, and he turned me down and said he had unfinished business to take care of first. I have not pushed the situation, I do not want him leave her because of me, I want him to do it for himself.I am so confused on what to do at this point.Thank god there are no kids involved; he has only been married for 2 years, with her for seven. Why would he even bother kissing me and then tell me he has unfinished business and lots of baggage to take care of? Is he leading me on?Help.........
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 he feels guilty for breaking it off, so instead he is trying to make her want to leave him, for financial reasons guilt etc... What a man. Why would he even bother kissing me and then tell me he has unfinished business and lots of baggage to take care of? He needs to make sure there is something simmering on his back burner should he decide to go through with the affair or leave his wife. I'm sure he likes the ego boost he gets from knowing that there is someone attracted to him and doesn't want to lose that even when he isn't ready to risk a full blown sexual affair or leave his wife. The best thing you can do is let this guy sort his baggage on his own without you around. Go to 'no contact' or at the very least 'limited contact' - no more emotional affair type stuff, no sexual talk, no kissing or touching, strictly business - that is the only way to see what this guy is really up to. You have to make it clear that as long as he is married, you will have nothing more to do with him. If he wants you, he has to be divorced first. If he wants to be with you - and I mean more than just keeping you around as a side item - then he will follow through with leaving in order to re-establish contact. If he intends to stay married, then you can use the 'no contact' period to get your head and heart back together.
whichwayisup Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 It's bad enough the guy is married, but seeing as he's your boss too, HE is out of line, allowing something to happen between you two. It's inappropriate behaviour for someone in his position to be considering pursuing one of his employee's... Read some threads in this section and decide on your own if you really want to involve yourself with a MM.
outofdarkness Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 I started a new job about 6 months ago, and have gotten very close to my married boss who is 10 years older than I.I just ended a 7 year relationship (2 years married), because I was falling for this other man. He says he is not happy with her, but we have really only talked about it after a couple of drinks. She is from another country and he feels guilty for breaking it off, so instead he is trying to make her want to leave him, for financial reasons guilt etc... We have kissed and thats about it. I have attempted to seduce him to see how far I could get him to go, and he turned me down and said he had unfinished business to take care of first. I have not pushed the situation, I do not want him leave her because of me, I want him to do it for himself.I am so confused on what to do at this point.Thank god there are no kids involved; he has only been married for 2 years, with her for seven. Why would he even bother kissing me and then tell me he has unfinished business and lots of baggage to take care of? Is he leading me on?Help......... He is your boss, and he is married...This is dangerous territory for you...Respect these two things and back off until/unless you quit your job and/or he can SHOW you divorce papers...Otherwise, you are headed for much heartbreak and unhappiness...Good luck...
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