qismat Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 i don't know why.. but i can't seem to bite my tongue when i over-analyze things in my head.. i love my bf so much.. but sometimes i start to feel like something is missing... and i think its primarily due to the fact that we're long distance.. i start to feel lonely, and sometimes i feel as though our connection is lost.. anyway, i told him this weekend that i felt like our relationship has been different lately, and that i feel like something is missing i said it just as we were about to say good bye because i was so upset that we'd have to be apart again, and i didn't think about what i was saying and what my intentions were... and now obviously he's upset.. i am just wondering what you guys would be thinking if your gf/bf said something like that to you!??! i don't want to break up with him.. i guess i just wanted him to know how much i'm struggling.. and he's sorta avoided talking to me today.. he was busy.. but i think he avoided me mainly cuz he was upset... any perspectives on how i could fix this.. or what he might be thinking?!
monkey00 Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 If it were me I would be confused and take it the wrong way, aka being dumped! Girls should just be straightforward with what they want. Your confusion adds to the guy's confusion
Author qismat Posted October 10, 2006 Author Posted October 10, 2006 If it were me I would be confused and take it the wrong way, aka being dumped! Girls should just be straightforward with what they want. Your confusion adds to the guy's confusion my intention wasn't to make him think i wanted out of the relationship after i said it.. i elaborated a bit, and he shared his perspective.. and he basically said that what he gets from me is that when we're together, its amazing, but when we're apart, i can't handle it... thats true, but i never intended for him to think i want it to be over. he wouldn't talk to me about it, it was the end of the night, and he wouldn't let me finish any sentence, and said we'd talk this week instead.. so i started crying and told him that i loved him so much, and that everything i say always comes out wrong, and please don't misunderstand me... anyway, i can't sleep .. i texted him and called him quite a few times today he texted back non-chalantly on his way home.. and said he'd call me when he got in.. but did not... now i'm upset that he ignored me.. even though i know i'm at fault for having said what i did... :S
Mystic Gohan Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 being the type of guy i am i owuld worry about what was missing and ask yuo about it, then i owuld try to fix it, let your boyfriend know what is missing and what he could maybe do to help fix it, please respond to link below: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t101010/
Walk Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 Well... I asked in your other thread if he was confused by what you wanted, and I think from what you posted that he is... My opinion... I think your bf is right that you can't handle the apart time. Or rather, it's not that you can't handle it, but it bothers you, and you don't seem very happy about it. I think you're asking too much of your bf right now. Unless he has better information on what you want and how to provide that for you, then all you're doing is unloading a problem on him and asking him to magically solve it for you. But partners aren't there to solve our problems by themselves. You still have to do the work on your own. Then you can ask your partner to help when you have a better understanding of how to fix the problem. But don't just dump a problem on him. For example. If you felt that you wanted your bf to show you that he loved you more often. Everyone shows their love differently. Some people give gifts, some feel it's affection, some feel it's positive words of support, etc... but each person is different. And our needs fluctuate at times. It takes self-awareness to understand what we need, and then communicate that clearly to our partner. Every time you ask him to do something without clarifying what you want, it causes him to withdraw a little further. It can cause a person to feel they are putting in a lot of effort and nothing is working. They get frustrated, and give up. They start to feel as though can't satisfy you because no matter how much effort they put in, you still aren't happy with it. But it wasn't effort that meant something to you. You still feel unsatisfied. Put some effort into defining what you want and need from this relationship on your own time first. Then approach him with the things that you need.
Guest Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 "Girls should just be straightforward with what they want. Your confusion adds to the guy's confusion" wouldnt all us guys love that! its too bad it hardly ever happens.
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