Almost Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 I want a man who's a one woman man not a multi woman man. Just because a guy is casually dating 2-3 women doesn't mean he is a multi woman man. We're not talking about sleeping with anyone or making an exclusive commitment. These are just casual, get to know you dates. After the 3rd or 4th date, I think both the man and woman should know if they want to take it to the next level or call it off. I can't see any man or woman continuing to casually date the same 3-4 women for more than 3 or 4 dates each and still not knowing if they are really hitting it off or not. I'm sure he doesn't like to have his time wasted either. That's why he's dating several women until he finds a good one who is still taking his calls after a few months. Remember, out of every ten prospects a guy has, five of them probably weren't interested in him to begin with, three will go on a few dates with him and then disappear or say "let's just be friends," and the last two might actually like him. Like it or not, dating is a numbers game. See the problem here is the difference between the way guys think, and the way women think. gfto is thinking very rationally and logically. Makes perfect sense. But women don't want to hear this. They want to think you are totally infactuated with her and that you couldn't dream of maybe wanting to date anyone else because you're exploring your options and don't want to put all your eggs in once basket until you're sure. They want to hear how psyched you are to be with her and how you want to commit to her right now. By the time you get to the 3rd date, you should pretty much know if you want to keep seeing this girl or not. Continuing to casually date without taking the relationship to the next level isn't really an option at this point, unless you two are just going to be friends. If you tell a woman on the 3rd date that, "hey this is great, you know I'm seeing a couple other girls too but I like you and want to keep seeing you", 9 times out of 10 that's not going to fly. What she's hearing is that after 3 dates, you still don't like her enough to want to choose her and start to see only her. The bottom line is that up until the 3rd or 4th date, it's pretty much assumed that you are or can date other people. No need to say anything about it. But if it's going to continue as a romantic relationship after that point, then you need to communicate that and say hey I really like you and I want us to just see each other, etc etc.
alphamale Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 No!I'm not married to noone after 3 dates and That's not what i'm saying.I don't like my time wasted so if you want a casual woman or me to be a part of a litter.I'm not your woman.I'm into one woman man and one man woman. so how do you know you like someone after 3 dates? how do you now they like you after 3 dates? Assume each date lasts approx 3 hours....after having 3 dates you've both spend 9 hrs together. You want commitment after 9 hrs together QIG?? Are you naive or just inexperienced, or both?
allina Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 so how do you know you like someone after 3 dates? how do you now they like you after 3 dates? Assume each date lasts approx 3 hours....after having 3 dates you've both spend 9 hrs together. You want commitment after 9 hrs together QIG?? Are you naive or just inexperienced, or both? Butting in, sorry But, after spending 9 hours with a guy I know if I could/will ever date him or sleep with him. After that amount of time I can tell if I could ever have any romantic interest there or not.
quietintrovertgirl Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 so how do you know you like someone after 3 dates? how do you now they like you after 3 dates? Assume each date lasts approx 3 hours....after having 3 dates you've both spend 9 hrs together. You want commitment after 9 hrs together QIG?? Are you naive or just inexperienced, or both? It's hard for me to answer these question because men don't give me a dating chance.Alpha i try to be honest with men so if i'm not feeling you.I'm not dating you snd other men.I'm not going to waste my time.
quietintrovertgirl Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 P.S I'm not naive maybe inexperienced when it comes to dating but Alpha i look at the world the way it SHOULD be not suppose to be
fishtaco Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 9 hours isn't a lot of time. I've been with women that didn't show their evil side until a month after. I'm sure men are just as evil and are as capable at hiding it. quietintrovergirl's view point has merit, but only works in a non-existent fanstasy world where everything is perfect, everyone is honest, everyone is in 100% control of their emotions, and no one plays games. Using 3rd date or 9 hours or even a month as a "cut off point" doesn't make sense. The threshold should be WHEN YOU CAN TRUST THE OTHER PERSON. Until the trust is earned, all is fair game. I mean if a woman gives up time and opportunity for a man that's not trustworthy, due to hasty decision or ill fitted moral principles on her part, and not the superb acting skill on his part, then she will regret that decision later. And that brings up another point. Evil men and women with superb acting skills will make you waste time period. But the effect of the wasting of time is diminished if you are also going on dates with other possibly decent people. Since if the evil one falls off before reaching the trust threshold, you still have others that are still in various stages of reaching that trust threshold; the evil one didn't monopolize your time and opportunities.
fishtaco Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 It's hard for me to answer these question because men don't give me a dating chance.Alpha i try to be honest with men so if i'm not feeling you.I'm not dating you snd other men.I'm not going to waste my time. If you're honest then you are one of the rare ones. The problem is that there are a lot of evil ones out there. From a guy's perspective, we have to protect ourselves from having our time and opportunities wasted by the bad ones, and there's no way to differentiate them other than spending actual time together. I'd imagine women have to do the same. Sounds like you don't have a lot of experience out in the cesspool that is the dating market. People without much experience tend to have idealized imagery of how romance should be. Once you're in the market long enough and you've been stomped by a few crappy loser guys, you may change. You don't construct your views, approach & tactics for the decent people. They are decent, they won't mess with you. You construct them for the crappy people, they're the ones that'll screw you over, go have a beer, then brag to their friends about it. And unless you are a mover and shaker and can change the course of history and culture, I say it'd more efficient to look at the world as exactly what it is and how to best survive under these conditions, instead of looking at the world as how it SHOULD be. I'm sorry, but most likely, the world doesn't give a rat's ass about what you or I think how it should be.
quietintrovertgirl Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 fishtaco, I know i'm never going to have a boyfriend because i'm a rare type of woman.Most men can't handle a woman like me.
fishtaco Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 fishtaco, I know i'm never going to have a boyfriend because i'm a rare type of woman.Most men can't handle a woman like me. quietintrovertgirl, Is that a good thing? If so, you're doing great. If not, maybe it's time to change.
quietintrovertgirl Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 Men don't want good women if they did.I wouldn't be single
alphamale Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 because i'm a rare type of woman.Most men can't handle a woman like me. women ALWAYS say this...."I am a rare little beautiful flower". Ahh....you're most likely the same as the rest of them. I always tell women I'm the same as any other guy (which I am)
quietintrovertgirl Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 alpha, I'm not like most casual women because I'm a sex with commitment woman.I've had men who hate women tell me"________you're not like other women."
alphamale Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 alpha, I'm not like most casual women because I'm a sex with commitment woman. ALL women say this....I've never heard a woman say "oh yea, I'm a casual sex woman, use me and abuse me sexually" My point is that whether a woman is looking for casual hook up or long-term commitment they always say they are long-term commitment-minded.
Author SoCalCatman72 Posted October 12, 2006 Author Posted October 12, 2006 Well the true test of a long term committment minded woman is to tell her that you are waiting until marriage for sex. Interestingly enough most of them run for the hills. I think I'll hide that little tidbit of information right now.
quietintrovertgirl Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 Why would men hate you? Ross, Most men don't want a good women that's why men hate me. Alpha, Where have you been?Some women are saying to men"F**k me".Alpha i want a commitment from a man before i lose my virginity.I don't want casual sex
Almost Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 Alpha i want a commitment from a man before i lose my virginity. I don't want casual sex Ok, so what exactly do you mean by "commitment." When I hear the word "commitment", I'm thinking "engagement" or "marriage". I'm assuming you are meaning something less than that. Do you just mean "going steady" or something? Does commitment mean just going out with one woman only? For how long? If you make a "commitment" to a woman, how long is the "commitment" supposed to last?
quietintrovertgirl Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 Almost, I want an monogamous relationship with a man because I'm not a casual sex woman.
Rooster_DAR Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 Women always ask why men have a hard time commiting, and wonder why some many guys are players. Here's a good reason why: Men in America standoff to commitment due to fear. They see how all of their friends, family,colleagues, and perhaps once themselves destroyed by a woman because he gave in and became a commited loving person. Regards,
Pyro Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 Women always ask why men have a hard time commiting, and wonder why some many guys are players. Here's a good reason why: Men in America standoff to commitment due to fear. They see how all of their friends, family,colleagues, and perhaps once themselves destroyed by a woman because he gave in and became a commited loving person. Regards, Thats what you get for thinking negatively about commitment. I have met and talked to numerous people that have been cheated on, guys and gals. For some, they think negatively about it and refuse to commit anymore, while the smart ones realize that not every guy and girl will cheat and they have a positive attitudeand they get back on their horse and try again.
Rooster_DAR Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 Thats what you get for thinking negatively about commitment. I have met and talked to numerous people that have been cheated on, guys and gals. For some, they think negatively about it and refuse to commit anymore, while the smart ones realize that not every guy and girl will cheat and they have a positive attitudeand they get back on their horse and try again. I was just giving a reason that lot's of men are like this, I did not say I was not able to commit. Given the right woman and circumstances, I would be able to commit again. I don't think negatively about commitment, I simply will be very careful and use my brain next time. Regards,
Almost Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 Almost, I want an monogamous relationship with a man because I'm not a casual sex woman. So then when woman says she wants a commitment, all it means is nothing more or less than staying in a monogomous relationship, without dating other people. That's no big deal. Guys aren't afraid of that. Why do women make it seem like such a huge deal?
quietintrovertgirl Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 Almost, Most men rather choose casual anything then commit to a woman.
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