SoCalCatman72 Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 Hi everyone , ok so I've gone from dateless to overwhelmed in one week flat, and as I haven't done this in over a decade, I just wanted to bounce this off my LS friends . Firstly, I'm feeling a whole lot better with my meds, many thanks to you all for your support. So I'd determined that I have been dateless primarily due to my failure to ask women out (duh ), so I've started asking women out. Now I'm a bit overwhelmed.... so my question is 1. If a guy is dating three different women at the same time, is he considered a serial dater? 2. I had lunch with an amazing lady on Sunday, and invited her to go 4 wheeling that afternoon. Her plans fell through and she couldn't make it, but she did call me again later that evening to apologize (again) and wish me a good night. Is she still interested? She lives like 90 miles from me.
Rooster_DAR Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 1. If a guy is dating three different women at the same time, is he considered a serial dater? For most men that would be considered a role model.
alphamale Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 1. If a guy is dating three different women at the same time, is he considered a serial dater?. Until there is some verbal agreement that you won't see others both parties are free to do whatever they want whith whomever. Some continue to do whatever they want even AFTER the verbal agreement. Once the legal agreement stage comes up (marriage)...thats when you make yourself scarce and find another chick. I don't know about question #2.
allina Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 I think that hanging out with/going on dates with several people is just dating, until you come to an agreement that you will date someone exclusively. I think the woman sounds interested in you since she went out of her way to show you that she did want to see you. I can speak only for myself but if I ever have to flake on plans with someone I want to see I put in the extra time and effort to show that I AM interested in seeing them but really had to cancel. If I break plans because I don't really feel like seeing the person, I just break them and poof Im gone.
Almost Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 Hi everyone , You're scaring me with that gay, cute little bunny thingy. Only women and gays should be allowed to use that. 1. If a guy is dating three different women at the same time, is he considered a serial dater? No, if you're not "going steady" with just one woman, that means you can date as many people as you want. But if you start sleeping with more than one of them, you should probably make a decision which one you want to stay with and stop seeing the others. Most women, or at least a lot of women, assume and presume that if you sleep with them, that pretty much means and implies that you two are now "going steady" and shouldn't be seeing other people, even if that specific deal isn't verbalized. 2. I had lunch with an amazing lady on Sunday, and invited her to go 4 wheeling that afternoon. Her plans fell through and she couldn't make it, but she did call me again later that evening to apologize (again) and wish me a good night. Is she still interested? She lives like 90 miles from me. Yes, probably. But 90 miles is pretty far to go. If she's not any better than the other two women, I'd consider forgetting about her and focusing on the others. Don't count your chickens before they're hatched. On several occaisions I've been in your situation and ended up not getting any of them after 2-3 dates with each.
Pyro Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 Hi everyone , ok so I've gone from dateless to overwhelmed in one week flat, and as I haven't done this in over a decade, I just wanted to bounce this off my LS friends . Firstly, I'm feeling a whole lot better with my meds, many thanks to you all for your support. So I'd determined that I have been dateless primarily due to my failure to ask women out (duh ), so I've started asking women out. Now I'm a bit overwhelmed.... so my question is 1. If a guy is dating three different women at the same time, is he considered a serial dater? 2. I had lunch with an amazing lady on Sunday, and invited her to go 4 wheeling that afternoon. Her plans fell through and she couldn't make it, but she did call me again later that evening to apologize (again) and wish me a good night. Is she still interested? She lives like 90 miles from me. 1. Yes it is serial dating. I personally would only date one woman at a time. If I didn't feel the connection, then I would move on and date another, but that is just me. 2. Yes, I believe that she is still interested. 90 miles is awfully far to date someone, but whatever works for you.
Mystic Gohan Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 1. If a guy is dating three different women at the same time, is he considered a serial dater? I would personally stick to 1 person cause things would get to complicated, you could say 1 girls name while you are talking to another, lol, but if they know about each other than carry on. I would not consider you a serial dater just a dater with some options, lol. 2. I had lunch with an amazing lady on Sunday, and invited her to go 4 wheeling that afternoon. Her plans fell through and she couldn't make it, but she did call me again later that evening to apologize (again) and wish me a good night. Is she still interested? She lives like 90 miles from me. I would say yes cause she at least bothered to call you and explain, i think if she wasnt interested she would not have called you at all. I am not sure how long 90 miles is, we use Kilometers but my experiance with long distance is you need alot of trust so if you can trust them then i dont see why it wouldnt work, but if you have doubts then maybe remain friends. Please reply to link below: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t101010/
fishtaco Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 My vote would be that it's fine to date multiple women until exclusive agreement is reached. I've been in many situations where everything seemed fine, she would even say something encouraging like she had a great time and we should go out again, but then proceeds to disappear on me. And that's why it's important to date as many women as you can until some sort of exclusivity is reached. This is simply about not putting all of your eggs in one basket. As far as her interest. Since she called you back to give you an excuse, I would say you didn't lose out, but you didn't take a step forward either. You are still at the position where you can contact her to setup a next date. She does live kind of far though.
littlekitty Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 Dating in the US/UK seems to be a bit different. I've always thought that it was quite normal in the US for people to date several different people at the same time? I personally wouldn't, and it's not in our culture to do it - to my knowledge anyway. But I don't see why not, provided everyone is aware that there's no exclusivity. And yup, sounds like she's definately interested to me. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be phoning to apologise again. Glad you're feeling well!
Author SoCalCatman72 Posted October 10, 2006 Author Posted October 10, 2006 Hey, there's nothing wrong with the cute lil bunny, especially since there are no wavey smilies available Thanks for all the feedback. I guess it is like riding a bicycle, once you get over the fear of falling on your face. It's funny, it feels kind of like I am interviewing candidates for a job, and the ones that pass the first interview get called back for a second one. I know it sounds bad, I guess it's just the HR Director in my brain. Other than that, I'm having fun...I feel like a kid in a candy store. I guess I'm not all that undesireable after all Oh and Almost, :bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::laugh:
Almost Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 since there are no wavey smilies available What the h*ll are "wavey smilies"? Thanks for all the feedback. I guess it is like riding a bicycle, once you get over the fear of falling on your face. It's funny, it feels kind of like I am interviewing candidates for a job, and the ones that pass the first interview get called back for a second one. I know it sounds bad, I guess it's just the HR Director in my brain. Other than that, I'm having fun...I feel like a kid in a candy store. I guess I'm not all that undesireable after all I'm happy for you. I need to get like that, only without the bunnies. I prefer the cool dude.
Author SoCalCatman72 Posted October 10, 2006 Author Posted October 10, 2006 What the h*ll are "wavey smilies"? They are smileys with a little hand that's waving hi.
basscatcher Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 ahah your overwhelmed dear... I did that too. I was tired of being dateless and not having anyone to make plans and do things with once in awhile so I joined online dating and I became overwhelmed with offers. I dated a few during the same month and I felt like I was so confused and had a hard time keeping things organized and who was who when I was out with one of them... I'm a one man woman or I confuse myself. I showed that on LS with TCK and Charlie. Figure out fast which woman you are most interested in then weight that with whom has the amount of availability you desire when dating. If you already feel overwhelmed continuing to juggle more then one woman for a long period of time will only compound what you are already feeling. Also, what if you fall for more then just one? Then you will eventually have to make a choice who you want anyways and someone will get hurt because more time has passed.
quietintrovertgirl Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 Socalcatman, I hope all these women know your dating other women beside that.I don't see any problems It's good to see you're ok catman.I thought something bad happen to you.
gfto Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 1. If a guy is dating three different women at the same time, is he considered a serial dater? You sound like a "nice guy." Who cares what he is considered to be? You should date as many women as you want to until one of them asks you to be exclusive. 2. I had lunch with an amazing lady on Sunday, and invited her to go 4 wheeling that afternoon. Her plans fell through and she couldn't make it, but she did call me again later that evening to apologize (again) and wish me a good night. Is she still interested? Probably not. Women with high interest don't cancel dates. Now, if she had made a very specific counteroffer for a date, then you'd know she's interested. But, it sounds like this girl gave you the old, "something came up," line without making a counteroffer. This is precisely the reason you should be dating three to five different girls until one of them asks you if she can call you her boyfriend. If she calls you and asks for a date, fine. But, I certainly wouldn't call her.
quietintrovertgirl Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 Yes Socalcatman should date as many woman as he wants too BUT.....He should let these women know that he's going out with other women.A "nice" "man tell women the truth but a bad man doesn't. I don't know if SoCalcatman either good or bad?
alphamale Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 A "nice" "man tell women the truth but a bad man doesn't. I don't know if SoCalcatman either good or bad? Woman no like "nice" man...
gfto Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 Yes Socalcatman should date as many woman as he wants too BUT.....He should let these women know that he's going out with other women.A "nice" "man tell women the truth but a bad man doesn't. I don't know if SoCalcatman either good or bad? quietintrovertgirl, I'm curious. Suppose you're on, say, a third date with a guy who you really like. Suddenly, he says, "oh, by the way, I think it's only fair that I tell you that I'm dating two other girls." What would you do next?
pricillia Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 You sound like a "nice guy." Who cares what he is considered to be? You should date as many women as you want to until one of them asks you to be exclusive. Probably not. Women with high interest don't cancel dates. Now, if she had made a very specific counteroffer for a date, then you'd know she's interested. But, it sounds like this girl gave you the old, "something came up," line without making a counteroffer. This is precisely the reason you should be dating three to five different girls until one of them asks you if she can call you her boyfriend. If she calls you and asks for a date, fine. But, I certainly wouldn't call her. I think her interest may be peaked, If I did not like a guy, I would not call him to say I was sorry for not being able to attend, I would just say sorry and leave it at that. I think that she may be interested, don't give up on her yet, she may want to take it slow. I like the bunny usage and think that it may be used by manly men or vice versa. bunny's are universal.
pricillia Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 Woman no like "nice" man... too funny alpha male..
quietintrovertgirl Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 quietintrovertgirl, I'm curious. Suppose you're on, say, a third date with a guy who you really like. Suddenly, he says, "oh, by the way, I think it's only fair that I tell you that I'm dating two other girls." What would you do next? Honestly.I would still talk to the guy but i would lost interst in dating him and if he lies about seeing other women.I wouldn't give him the time of day either. I don't like my time wasted so if you want to date around don't date me.i'm not a casual woman.I'm a seriuos relationship type of woman.
alphamale Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 Honestly.I would still talk to the guy but i would lost interst in dating him and if he lies about seeing other women.I wouldn't give him the time of day either. so basically QIG...you believe you are married to him after the 3rd date and you own him lock, stock and barrel?
gfto Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 Honestly.I would still talk to the guy but i would lost interst in dating him and if he lies about seeing other women.I wouldn't give him the time of day either. I don't like my time wasted so if you want to date around don't date me.i'm not a casual woman.I'm a seriuos relationship type of woman. I'm sure he doesn't like to have his time wasted either. That's why he's dating several women until he finds a good one who is still taking his calls after a few months. Remember, out of every ten prospects a guy has, five of them probably weren't interested in him to begin with, three will go on a few dates with him and then disappear or say "let's just be friends," and the last two might actually like him. Like it or not, dating is a numbers game.
quietintrovertgirl Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 so basically QIG...you believe you are married to him after the 3rd date and you own him lock, stock and barrel? No!I'm not married to noone after 3 dates and That's not what i'm saying.I don't like my time wasted so if you want a casual woman or me to be a part of a litter.I'm not your woman.I'm into one woman man and one man woman.
quietintrovertgirl Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 I'm sure he doesn't like to have his time wasted either. That's why he's dating several women until he finds a good one who is still taking his calls after a few months. Remember, out of every ten prospects a guy has, five of them probably weren't interested in him to begin with, three will go on a few dates with him and then disappear or say "let's just be friends," and the last two might actually like him. Like it or not, dating is a numbers game. That's why i never had my first Bf or went out on my first date.I want a man who's a one woman man not a multi woman man.
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