uncertain1 Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 I was in a long term relationship for 9 years...then we decided to get married. go figure...I was divorced within the 1st year. The divorce was 2 yrs ago. Since then I got remarried to an amazing guy....I often find myself unhappy.....I don't think I could ask for a better husband or guy....He is always helping me ok...he does most of the cleaning, cooking , etc. He has never given me reason not to trust him....he is 95% always with me except at work.....I am not sure where the unhappiness is coming from...I often think of my 1st relationship and all the mistakes in it..most of them I caused by being untruthful about alot of things....Now I feel that I cannot believe my current husband....Do you think it is because of my past relationship...I will admit I was the shady one...I dont know of my 1st husband doing anything terrible to me...I am so confused to why 1- I feel unhappy with my new husband 2- why I am so negative 3- I question everything over and over until I find something to grasp onto...Why do you think this is?????
Ripples Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 Maybe guilt over your first marriage is playing a part in stopping you from achieving happiness with your current husband? I get the sense that you could have issues that go further back than your first marriage. I'd advise professional therapy. Feeling negative and unhappy is a pretty good way make sure you've got something to be negative and unhappy about. So nipping it in the bud would be good
littlekitty Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 Maybe guilt over your first marriage is playing a part in stopping you from achieving happiness with your current husband? I get the sense that you could have issues that go further back than your first marriage. I'd advise professional therapy. I think Ripples has it here. I think you feel so guilty over what happened in your first marriage that you don't feel you deserve to be happy now. Also although you say your new husband is amazing, are you actually in love with him? Do you genuinely want to be married to him? Just because he's an amazing man, doesn't mean that he's the right person for you? So is he? Also we often judge other people's actions by our own. You lied often in your past marriage, therefore you assume that your husband is going to be doing the same and lying to you now. I think you need some help working through the issues and guilt you are carrying from your first marriage. This should help you release yourself so that you can enjoy your current marriage.
Author uncertain1 Posted October 11, 2006 Author Posted October 11, 2006 I think both of you are right...I do have guilt over my past behavior...I do love my husband but I feel that I hold back some of my feelings..I have a friend who is a counselor but she thinks I have it great now....I just can't shake the doubts or concerns.
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