LuminousZ Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 Hey everyone; I've been out of the dating game for many many moons.., So I'm here looking for assistance in sorting out some mixed signals! Last thursday I was fortunate to find myself sharing a fantastic Thai dinner with a very attractive woman who I met briefly only several days prior. She arrived about 20 min. late after rescheduling dinner from 6PM to 8:30PM.., Dinner went well enough that we decided to stop out for another drink or two.., It was about 12:30AM when we decided to leave. The time at the bar went fairly well (IMO) sharing some small talk and some laughs. The confusing part for me is the way the date ended. Suddenly and without any mention of the time we shared. No, "Thanks , I had a nice time" or anything to that effect. We were near her car talking (small talk) when she turned to me, gave me a hug and a kiss on the neck.., kinda wispered .., "call me" and quickly turned to jump into her car. Keep in mind I am the "Nice guy" type, a perfect gentleman in no way expecting sex..., I just would have appreciated some meaningful dialog and maybe some eye contact to know if I should ask her out again. Also keep in mind she is a real head turner - very attractive. In fact, as we entered the bar, I noticed all eyes were fixed on her as I held the door open.., she could easily have a date with anyone of her choice. Am I overlooking something with the kiss on the neck?? Was that a "Kiss of death" OR is she simply stringing me along for another nice dinner date? Is it possible she's somewhat interested? Any help provided will be most appreciated! 3 days have passed and I can't figure out if I should call her for another date...,
Pyro Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 Hey everyone; I've been out of the dating game for many many moons.., So I'm here looking for assistance in sorting out some mixed signals! Last thursday I was fortunate to find myself sharing a fantastic Thai dinner with a very attractive woman who I met briefly only several days prior. She arrived about 20 min. late after rescheduling dinner from 6PM to 8:30PM.., Dinner went well enough that we decided to stop out for another drink or two.., It was about 12:30AM when we decided to leave. The time at the bar went fairly well (IMO) sharing some small talk and some laughs. The confusing part for me is the way the date ended. Suddenly and without any mention of the time we shared. No, "Thanks , I had a nice time" or anything to that effect. We were near her car talking (small talk) when she turned to me, gave me a hug and a kiss on the neck.., kinda wispered .., "call me" and quickly turned to jump into her car. Keep in mind I am the "Nice guy" type, a perfect gentleman in no way expecting sex..., I just would have appreciated some meaningful dialog and maybe some eye contact to know if I should ask her out again. Also keep in mind she is a real head turner - very attractive. In fact, as we entered the bar, I noticed all eyes were fixed on her as I held the door open.., she could easily have a date with anyone of her choice. Am I overlooking something with the kiss on the neck?? Was that a "Kiss of death" OR is she simply stringing me along for another nice dinner date? Is it possible she's somewhat interested? Any help provided will be most appreciated! 3 days have passed and I can't figure out if I should call her for another date..., From the look of it, she could be either way. She told you to call her, so call her. Three days is enough time and if she answers the phone or if she returns your call, then that should answer yor question.
Art_Critic Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 No woman wants to be easy for her guy.. it's all part of the chase.. I have met women that didn't recipicate with the " thank you " afterwards and those normally mean I'm not interested.. She did say call her.. try !! If she doesn't return the call or you feel blown off then drop it..
monkey00 Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 By all means if you're interested in seeing her again i see no reason not to arrange another date. Kissing on cheeks can mean anything, family, friends, lovers. Kiss on the neck..that's new, I say she's interested. Let me ask why didnt you kiss her during the date?
Author LuminousZ Posted October 9, 2006 Author Posted October 9, 2006 ... She told you to call her, so call her. Three days is enough time and if she answers the phone or if she returns your call, then that should answer yor question. Thanks riddler and Art_Critic - You provided just enough encouragement to throw caution to the wind..., She did answer the phone - although I called from a number unknown to her rendering her caller ID useless!! The conversation ended on a positive note ..., we decided to see each other again tomorrow evening! ... Kissing on cheeks can mean anything, family, friends, lovers. Kiss on the neck..that's new, I say she's interested. Let me ask why didnt you kiss her during the date? Thats a good question Monkey00! I anticipated a moment where we would face one another..., I could then lean in for a good night kiss. To my surprise, that ideal situation didn't materialize. I was somewhat confused by the sudden, abrupt end to the date and her quick departure from the scene! In her defense, it was getting late and she did have a rather long drive ahead of her. Thanks again Monkey00, Riddler and Art_Critic - your comments are appreciated!
alphamale Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 Was that a "Kiss of death" a hug and kiss on the neck means its time for you to move on buddy. sorry charley.
Pyro Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 Thats a good question Monkey00! I anticipated a moment where we would face one another..., I could then lean in for a good night kiss. To my surprise, that ideal situation didn't materialize. I was somewhat confused by the sudden, abrupt end to the date and her quick departure from the scene! In her defense, it was getting late and she did have a rather long drive ahead of her. Good luck on the date.
hopeto Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 this is only my thoughts of maybe what it can or can not be. I am not a relationship doc nor can I give you the correct answer that you are looking for. what stumps me is this. if you are intrested say you are!! if you want to know how she thinks of you ask her. you dont have to be rude but you need to be up front and honest from the very get go. I think if more people started a relationship out with I know what I want and what I dont want then you could get alot futher in the future. as I said do not be rude or the kinda of person that has this I am better than you and you are not good enough kinda thing but just simply give her a call ask her how she enjoyed dinner and that you were glad she joined you. maybe she is shy and has be tought that the guy should be the first to call and to be the first move maker. you never know what has happen in her past. I have a terrible past and I am in my mid 30's and I was just recently told by a guy friend well its been a coulple years who was also friends with my husband that I went to school with that I was the "b" word in high school. I asked him why he would say that and he said cause I never talked to anyone except my girlfriends. well I simple let him know that I was not that way and the reason behind it on why I just did not talk to guys or do the eye contact thing and he said he was sorry for the way he thought of me in high school. he it is either a. she is shy and is scared of the confrontal issue of what may lead up to the eye contact(kissing on the lips the hands floating where they dont belong etc. you get my drift) b. she had a good time but was ready to go because she has someone else. c. she did not have a good time and does not want to do it again in which all you need to do is call. you will tell by the voice tone what she is feeling and if she wants to go out again. if you did not get her number be careful as she may have you on the side along with 10 others.
Author LuminousZ Posted October 9, 2006 Author Posted October 9, 2006 a hug and kiss on the neck means its time for you to move on buddy. sorry charley. WOW Alphamale..., you really went out on a limb there..., Did you miss the part where the phone call ended with a second date?? Also, I learned she drove 33 miles each way for our first date and is willing to drive that far AGAIN!! (estimated miles courtesy google maps!) I thought she lived within the same city until this last phone conversation. Oh..., one more thing, she didn't have to hug OR kiss me anywhere - I was standing to the rear of the car - she was at the driver door - could have just as easily jumped in and sped away!! Anyway.., thanks for chiming in - keeps things interesting!!
Author LuminousZ Posted December 1, 2006 Author Posted December 1, 2006 Hey everybody, I'm very happy to share some good news about a budding romance in the making.., Nearly two months later we have become very close.., seeing each other 2 - 3 times per week (We both have demanding schedules). I've read plenty of other post on this site and decided to let her take the lead from the very begining and I must say that casual approach has worked very well! However, at one point nearly a week passed without any contact and I thought we were finished - Turns out she thought the same..., we worked through that and now we don't let more than a day pass with some type of communication! So.., in short, when a woman gives a kiss on the neck after the first date, take that as a very good indication she's interested!! She just wants to take it slow.., I'm the kind of guy who really appreciates that! A great big Thanks to all who commented - Sorry alphamale, You were way off on this one!!
luvtoto Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 I've read plenty of other post on this site and decided to let her take the lead from the very begining and I must say that casual approach has worked very well! However, at one point nearly a week passed without any contact and I thought we were finished - Turns out she thought the same..., we worked through that and now we don't let more than a day pass with some type of communication! Casual approach. Hmmm...that sounds like a great approach. I would love that from a guy. I must say, you sound very excited about this woman. Is it tough for you to stay grounded and casual? Is this a completely new approach? What exactly does 'casual approach' mean to you? Like, what things are you doing?
DRDimeMami Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 Call her up and see whats good with her. She did say to call her and 3 days is enough. Either she just wants to have fun and mess around a little here and there.. or she likes the chase. She wants you to chase her. Just give it a try. It won't hurt. What will you be losing anyway? Shes not yours to begin with. So go for it! Hope it helps.
Author LuminousZ Posted December 4, 2006 Author Posted December 4, 2006 What exactly does 'casual approach' mean to you? Like, what things are you doing? Hi Luv, We both have demanding schedules - hers more than mine, she works weekends.., so after work during the week was the only available time for us to get to know each other. So I invited her out for dinner(s) - at places that are somewhat extraordinary..., ( I am well traveled & constantly seeking new, interesting, off the beaten path places - thats just me). By "Casual approach" I mean I considered the date(s) as "a professional meeting with a twist of fun" so to speak - I enjoyed her presence while picking up the tab and always respected her as a person - (READ: Kept hands to self!) Always allowing a day or two to pass between the next invite.., This applied through date 7. The seventh date was significant in that she invited me back to her place and completey seduced ME. Lets just say I was like a deer caught in headlights! She sealed the deal..., when finsihed a few hours later she questioned why I wasn't more aggresive (dates 2 -7). I explained it was a respect thing.., and I simply enjoyed her company even if it was only for dinner.., Then.., I began doing more for her. I enjoy eating healthy and always have prepared my own meals, so now I began cooking for her as well - One morning after another exciting rendezvous she noticed missing ingredients and asked if I would run to the store. Naturally I had no problem running out (I'm up early with plenty of energy) I needed to take her car because she's in a gated community and the clicker is installed inside her car - while on my way to the store, I noticed the bright orange "out of fuel" light blinking away.., what do I do? Get gas soon - obvious right? Well, I'm not one to waste time pumping $5. gas. I filled the tank as I would my own and returned with lots of fresh groceries.., never metioning almost running out of fuel/filling tank. Days later I brought over a beautiful arrangement of poinsettia for her entry way.., It was at that point communication was lost for about a week. On our next evening out.., she invited me for drinks with her friends.., towards the end of the evening - when dropping me off at my car, she told me I was too nice of a guy but wanted me to come to her house to discuss further.., The discussion took place with candles lit in her bedroom where she further explained to me the relationship she wanted with me was purely physical. (WTF?) Now I'm confused. My friends tell me I have found the perfect relationship!! But - Silly me - "I want someone to stimulate my intellect as well as my loins".., so to speak!! Getting laid has never been a problem for me (NOT bragging, simply stating a fact) therefore not my main focus with this woman. Thats when I read a post titled, "I like you but you're just too nice" It was a great read with some very useful insight, yet mildly confusing.., I decided the best approach for me would be to give her only what she's asking for as suggested and completely withdraw from anything above and beyond! As it turns out, thats very valuable advice.., I spent another tender, intimate evening with her and saved $35.00 in fuel as I needed her car the next morning for fresh food and returned with the orange "out of fuel" light blinking away!! It seems to be excellent advice because she just called me to ask if she will see me tonight!! Thanks Luv.., I feel like sending YOU some flowers!!
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