chrisy484 Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 my boyfriend has a hard time showing public affection. even just holding hands he has a problem with. he says this comes from being with his ex for 5 yrs whom he never did any of this stuff with. i always try to grab his hand or put my arm around his while we are walking and he always has some kind of comment or lets go after awhile. is it possible to break him out of his old ways so he can show me some affection? or is there no hope? and in what ways can i do little things to show my affection without being to forward and making him uncomfortable?
Walk Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 I kind of doubt it was "just his ex" that caused him to not want to be affectionate in public. Personally, I think he's probably naturally less affectionate in public, and the ex probably enforced that tendency. I had an ex that wasn't very fond of holding hands or touching in public. I talked to him a few times about it, and he did get better. He'd let me hold his hand, or hug him, (in public) but he was never comfortable with it... and never initiated it. Which really bothered because I wanted that feeling that he "wanted" to hold my hand and show the world we were together. I don't think there's much you could do to drastically change him into a loving affectionate guy while out. Let him know that it means a lot to you, express how you feel about it in as positive a way as possible. I would also explain to him that you aren't his ex. Maybe try to concentrate on the affectionate aspect while at home. But I really feel it's a part of a persons makeup, and a few issues with an ex wouldn't affect it drastically. Unless she tasered him every time he tried to touch her or something. Maybe she punched him in the face when he attempted to hold her hand. I guess that would change how someone viewed PDA. hahha
moman Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 I'm one of the guys who doesn't like to hold hands. In leiu of that, I asked my ex to hold my arm which she found as a good compromise. Short answer, probably not going to change him but find a good middle ground.
blind_otter Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 I'm not a hand-holder, myself. Hands get all gross and sweaty when they are pressed together. Maybe he just doesn't like to hold hands. I do other things to show affection, mainly I cook for the person I care for. So anyone I date just has to settle for food rather than sweaty hands. Does he show you affection in other ways?
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