outofdarkness Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 I already explained this in previous postings. Apparantly at the time he and his wife were seperated and she'd moved out. ok...sorry!
Author pink_stripes Posted October 17, 2006 Author Posted October 17, 2006 He and I had a face to face meeting last week. It did not go well. He sat on the arm of the sofa, angry and accusatory. I ended up crying and making him leave. He told me to my face, I will be there for the baby, and if you need anything just ask. I will do my best to make it happen. The next day I receive an email from him telling me the best thing for me to do is have an abortion because he is not destroying his marriage over a "mistake" he made while they were seperated and he didn't want his wife to know. I replied back "That is exactly what I expect of you, no more, no less. Please do not contact me anymore and I will return the favor" Things went ok until today, when he emailed me back over something so petty, ebay fees. He owes me about 20 bucks in fees from ebay, something I'd emailed him about weeks ago. He copy and pasted the original email and said "Ok so what you are saying is, you want me to give you some money" I snapped back a hateful email, because I'd never asked him for money, I simply wanted him to pay his 20 damn dollars in Ebay seller fees he'd racked up on MY account before they shut it down. So on and on the emails go, when he finds out that over the weekend, I moved to NYC, he flips out. He doesn't think its "fair" that I move away so he can't see HIS child. What??? After he had just told me a few days ago he didn't want anything to do with the child? Then he turns it around saying "I still thing about the last time we had sex" and how when I come back to Atlanta next month he wants to get me a hotel room and have sex with me. Oh please. I snapped back another hateful email telling him to take it home to his wife. Just because I'm pregnant by him doesn't give him a neverending right to have sex with me. He says that since he got me pregnant he has the right to see me. I disagree. I'm so upset with him. I can't imagine the sh*t storm that is going to happen when his wife finds out. I feel bad for her. I have no animosity towards her at all and if I knew of a way to get in touch with her to tell her, I would. Other than that, I guess I can just wait. At least I put several states distance in between the stupid babys father and I. Grrr.
Author pink_stripes Posted November 2, 2006 Author Posted November 2, 2006 Update on my story. Ironically a few things have happened. #1 I had a miscarriage and subsequent surgery to fix everything up two days ago. I haven't told the guy yet. I haven't told anyone yet and yes I know I am telling a forum full of strangers but that's alot easier (emotionally) than telling people like my mother who was so excited to be a grandma again and my child who was ecstatic over being a big brother. So right now, the guy kind of falls into LAST place on being told. He wrote me an email yesterday, out of the blue, telling me he'd left his wife, he wasn't happy with her blah blah the typical married man BS. He says he moved out and is leasing an apartment in downtown. He gave me the address and apartment number. Now.... one, I find this amusing because he could either be telling the truth of be full of ****, I will never really know. Two, I wonder if he left her (IF he in fact DID leave her) because he was truly unhappy or because he found out I was pregnant and it could cause a sh*tstorm when the wife found out and cause him even more problems. Adultory is illegal in Georgia and you CAN go to jail for it, in fact I know of a couple men who have. Thirdly I just find it highly ironic that he does this after I had a miscarriage, when it's not even important anymore what he does. In the email he detailed out this and that. In truth, I worked a job that took me out of state most of the month, except for maybe a week. I wasn't looking for a huge relationship. I met him, we clicked, and whatnot, and would hang out when I was in town. The last time I went out of town I pretty much ignored him because I wasn't really interested in a serious relationship and then when I found out I was pregnant I called him to let him know. I didn't expect anything from him. He says that when I didn't speak to him for the month, he said I was so indifferent he figured I didn't want a relationship with him so when his wife tried to reconcile he accepted and they got back together. It might be a true story but who knows? I did not get into the relationship knowing he had a wife. I didn't set out to hurt her and I was not knowingly the "other woman" I feel guilty that he made it into something it wasn't and if he indeed left his wife for that reason, then I will feel horrible. I'm just glad that there isn't an innocent baby to have to suffer through this now. I feel, that this is God's way of handling things, that I wasn't (or the little baby wasn't) strong enough to bear.
whichwayisup Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage, I hope you're doing okay. Physically and emotionally..Just take care of yourself. I'm not sure what to say about your MM...Him moving out and finding another place could be because his marriage is really over, or he's not sure. Either way, IF you decide to be with him again, take it slow.
Author pink_stripes Posted November 2, 2006 Author Posted November 2, 2006 Thank you whichwayisup, I appreciate it. I think I am doing alright, but it may not have kicked fully in yet, as I haven't told anyone. I have no intention of seeing him. Although TECHNICALLY he didn't cheat on his wife, as they were seperated at the time when we were seeing each other, it doesn't sit well with me that he lied about being married. Not telling me is lying by omission and I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who based our whole "relationship" on a lie. But -- thank you for your thoughts =)
whichwayisup Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 I'm glad that you're going to move on. Separated or not, the guy has lied and probably hasn't even told his wife about this. Sidenote - If you start feeling down, don't isolate yourself. And if you need help, emotionally - talk to someone, either a friend or a professional. One of my bestfriends had a miscarriage and one mistake she made was thinking she could handle it all on her own. She got the help she needed, and is much better now. (Has a daughter now too!) Anyway, you're welcome and take care.
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