Maryn Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 I guess I should start beginning. He was a friend from work. We talked alot and eventually some feelings developed. I knew that it was happening. Finally he told me he had feelings for me. I told him to work on his marriage. He found out she was cheating. He is planning a divorce. He asked for counseling says she refused. I keep telling him to work on the marriage. I am trying to be supportive. I don't know if I should tell him that he should have no contact with me. I don't think that I am interfering with anything because I made it perfectly clear that I would not consider a relationship with him unless he was single. He said he accepted that. He feels guilty for even thinking about me. I won't get into the details about what he found out, but I think their marriage was over a long time ago and he just didn't know it yet. I know that he is a nice guy, and that I would like to pursue a relationship with him if he happens to be single. On the other hand, I want for him to patch up his marriage and be happy with his wife. I have some reservations about starting a relationship with him anyway, just because he admitted he had feelings for me while he was married. Then I feel nuts because if he had waited until he was divorced to tell me, that would be more acceptable to me. I don't know if this is the right place for this post. I just would like to know that I am not alone.
GreenEyedLady Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 If I were you I would wait and see and do this right...if he does go through with the D, you can start dating him and see if you actually are a good match...
Jane Doe Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 You need to back far away and let him sort out his feelings and marriage. If there are feelings there between you two, you're not the one he needs to be leaning on for support. He needs to figure this out on his own. Back away and stay away and if he ends his marriage, you can develop a legitimate relationship based on integrity and truthfulness.
Author Maryn Posted October 10, 2006 Author Posted October 10, 2006 I told him today that I thought we shouldn't talk to each other anymore. He was upset. I feel bad because we were friends before anything else. I feel like I am abandoning our friendship. I told we could not talk about "us" until he was divorced and it would be the right thing for both of us just to avoid each other until he made up his mind. He called a lawyer today. If I didn't know him before, NC would be alot easier.
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