krittal67 Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 Help! How do I stay away from him???? I've been dating this guy for a year and a half at first we took things really slow became friends, then took it from there, things were going great and he told me one day when we got into a little bit of an arguement that he is scared to death of commitment, and don't know if he will ever be able to do that, but not saying that he won't, it will just take time. Well...you would think after a year and a half he would know something. He was married for 24 years. He is definately not still in love with her as she hurt him deeply by coming out that she is gay. WOW (can you say pride crusher). I told him that he needs to take time in his own mind to come to terms with that. During this 1 1/2 yrs. I have become close to his children and his grandson, and I still want to be part of their lives but after yesterday I don't know if I can even do that. Yesterday was kind of the icing on the cake I stayed all night we slept together and during the day had sex again, then about mid day I said what time are the kids coming out and he said I didn't know they were I'm going to the topless bar in town tonight. I don't know but I suddenly felt sick to my stomach....and thought what a low life to sleep with me and then say I'm going to a topless bar! I honestly felt sick and like a mere piece of ass. He says their is nothing wrong with going to a place like that, I agree but the way he said it I felt disgusted it was almost like he wanted to hurt me. I left telling him that it is not OK to treat people like **** or make them feel like ****. I'm tired of feeling like I'm nothing...but the famous last words I love and care about him and at times think I should just give him time, but on the other hand just be done with him he's got issues! I did the thing w/writing down all the pros and cons and the cons far outweighed the pros. The bad part is we work together! What should I do?
LakesideDream Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 Well.... I too was married for a quarter century, and have had a few dating "problems" in the five plus years since. I don't do "t-itty bars" and the like, however I will share a episode that happened to me a year or so after the divorce. I had a G/F, "with priviliges". One evening we had dinner out and went back to her place. Watched TV, "fooled around", and talked after. I told her that I had decided to go home around 1 a.m. because I was worried about my sick kitty (actual feline), she went catatonic. BTW my kitty (who still lives with me) was really sick, needing meds and attention to a wound. I had told her about my concerns over the previous couple of weeks. Needless to say that was it for me. The lady and I had dinner a couple of more times, and went to a holiday party (her work) together, however I never stepped into her house or invited her to mine after a date again. To much drama.
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