emmaUK Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 ive jsut been dumped earlier. he said its coz he doesnt like what me and my daughter are about. every time my daughters dad is mentiond or a subject arises that involves him .... my bf/ex just gets angry. tonight we were sitting there eating our chicken and my daughters dad came into the convo and my bf just got angry and started to have a go at me coz i let him treat me like **** and he walks all over me and i jsut turn the other cheek n im too soft with him. he sais that i should no way just forgive him for all he did to me and he's walking around all smug coz he treated so bad and has jsut got away with it and now my daughter thinks he 's the best thing since sliced bread and he hasnt even paid me any child maintenance yet. he sais thers no way i should jsut forgive him the way i have and he would deff not have jsut forgiven and let him carry on like nothing ever happend i said that the certain decisions i make are ones i feel at the time are for the best and even if he has a different view on things... i want him 2 support me n just let me know he's there for me if my decision end up being wrong and things dont turn out how i hope. he just said that he really doesnt agree with the way i do things concerning with my daughter and daughters dad... and he left me crying hysterically on the floor after he said that he dont like what me and my daughter are about.... he jsut walked out the front door leaving me sobbing on the floor and didnt look back. 30 mins later he text saying "im so sorry i mislead u in2 a relationship u thought wsa perfect, im so sorry 4 all thid pain. u deserve so much better. not me" then 10 mins after that when i didnt reply. "plz let me know your ok". then he tried to ring about 20 mins after that n i didnt pick up. then i cudnt resist and text him twice to say i love him and i didnt want him to end it just coz he hates what my ex did to me and loads of other soppy things... he didnt reply.... then i tried to ring and he didnt pick up. WHAT IS GOING ON IN HIS HEAD... PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND THIS A BIT EASIER COZ I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW HE THINKS AND FEELS AT ALL. THIS IS UNBEARABLE PAIN.
Age18Male Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 mmmm.. its over. move on, dont think about it.
lovelifelust Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 reality bites and this b/f likes attention .. i have just left one simular and he is now attempting to play with my emotions ... whch admitingly did work for a short spell ... i agree with the last poster .. move on ... and remember no matter who you are with they need to realise that your daughter has the right to know her dad, whether he did wrong by you or not ... and becoming angry at the mention of him or any other person in your world is an insecurity in them ...
Author emmaUK Posted October 9, 2006 Author Posted October 9, 2006 mmmm.. its over. move on, dont think about it. its a bit hard not to think about it and just move on... i was with him for a year and a half.... with a split up here and there. i lived and breathed him and he has been alot more of a father to my daughter then her real father. even though we have had our ups and downs.... he has done so much for us. he rang me up last nite ... tellin me he loves me and he just feels like he aint a man becuase he's letting my ex walk all over me and get away with not paying any money towards my daughters upbringing and it makes him so angry to watch. he said... your ex doesnt deserve the title of daddy coz he dont do f**k all for her apart from see her about once ever 2-4 weeks for a few hours ... feed her with chocolate and mcdonalds and then go home. he thinks i should tell my ex that he aint seeing her again until he starts paying his way and stop leaving me to pay for everything.
Author emmaUK Posted October 9, 2006 Author Posted October 9, 2006 i think actually that maybe he is jealous becuase when we first got together... my ex never came round to c my daughter at all really. it was about once every few months he came over for a few hours and my current BF was more or less the only father figure in her life.... my ex was jsut a guy who used to come over once in a blue moon (the longest gap he left between visits was 7 months) who my daughter calls daddy but didnt really act like a proper daddy. i know my BF adores my daughter and i think he just wants to be the only man in her life and is feeling sad now that my ex is coming round a little bit more often (even thoug its not that much really). he sais.. if he wants to start playing daddy now, then dont just let him waltz over whenever he fancies and not pay you any thing. he knows he has got it good coz he only comes round when it suits him and he doesnt even havta pay anything. i know what he sais is all true and i havta do something about it
littlekitty Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 I think your ex is right. And I think if there is any chance at all of you getting back together, you're going to need to make some changes he can see. Being a 'step parent' isn't always easy - I'm one myself. I can imagine it's doubly hard when watching the person you care about be walked all over and taken for a ride by their ex. That would p*ss me off to to be honest. If I was there I'd get fed up of it, and want to see you make some positive moves to sort things out. I understand your fear that your daughter will loose her father again. But do you really want the influence of someone who won't pay a dime, and only shows up when he wants to? Of course she needs her Dad, but she also needs regualar scheduled time with him, and she needs the money he should be paying towards her life. I think you should concentrate of making some changes to the way you deal with your ex (daughters father), and work on that. Perhaps if your exbf see some changes, he might be more inclinded to rethink.
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