Summer2000 Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 How is it that if you know you ex is not the ONE for you, you are still upset and sad? I feel alone again and sad even thou I know and understand he was not the one for me.. Is this normal to be sad about not having your ex in your life anymore, even thou it is the best in the long run for you? I feely empty again and I feel so alone.. I am sitting home on a Sat night feeling sorry for myself and missing my ex.. I am worried he is out meeting new people while I am sitting home with tears in my eyes.. Summer
Pyro Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 How is it that if you know you ex is not the ONE for you, you are still upset and sad? I feel alone again and sad even thou I know and understand he was not the one for me.. Is this normal to be sad about not having your ex in your life anymore, even thou it is the best in the long run for you? I feely empty again and I feel so alone.. I am sitting home on a Sat night feeling sorry for myself and missing my ex.. I am worried he is out meeting new people while I am sitting home with tears in my eyes.. Summer Your behavior is completely normal. You just miss him so much because you had been with him for so long. You can't expect just to forget about him in a snap of a finger. Even though you realize that he is not the one for you, it still hurts because you really did love him. I think that its safe to say that we have all felt your pain at one point or another. You are not missing out on anything. There will be plenty of time to meet new people but the first thing that you must do is to go through the coping process first. You need to get rid of the pain before you move on.
Author Summer2000 Posted October 8, 2006 Author Posted October 8, 2006 But I have been hurting for over a month now.. I have my good days and my bad, but I can't help it.. I feel so lost with out him.. How is it that we can fall in love with someone that is not good for us?
Tony T Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 But I have been hurting for over a month now.. I have my good days and my bad, but I can't help it.. I feel so lost with out him.. How is it that we can fall in love with someone that is not good for us? HA! When you find the answer to that, get back with me!!!
Pyro Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 But I have been hurting for over a month now.. I have my good days and my bad, but I can't help it.. I feel so lost with out him.. How is it that we can fall in love with someone that is not good for us? I agree with Tony. Let us know if you have the answer to that question. It happens sometimes. We all meet a person or two, or even more that turn out to be no good. Use the relationship as a learning experience and keep your ears and eyes open in future relationships. How long was the relationship that just ended?
garnet Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 summer, I know a month feels like a long time, but it's going to take a lot longer than that for you to completely heal. The good news is that each month will get a little easier than the month before. It has been more than six months for me (also getting over someone who I KNOW isn't good for me and who treated me horribly) and I'm still not completely out of the woods. But I can look back and see how far I've come. You will do the same. I am convinced that a big part of the pain in these situations is caused not by the actual person, but by the 'rejection'. I have kept myself up many nights wondering "why didn't he want me?" and "what's wrong with me?" It's a hard thing for the ego to take, even when we know rationally that we deserve so much more. What you're feeling is completely normal. Have compassion for yourself throughout this process. You have finally instigated NC and stuck with it. Be proud of yourself!
Author Summer2000 Posted October 8, 2006 Author Posted October 8, 2006 I was with him for a year, he gave me a std, cheated on me a few times and I still stayed, plus I just got a bill in the mail from the doctor's visits for $1000.00!!! As I don't have any insurance. But for whatever reason I stayed only to find out he does not love me, and will never love me, as he only used me for sex..
Author Summer2000 Posted October 8, 2006 Author Posted October 8, 2006 I know what you are saying, and again maybe my ego is just bruised, but I really miss him.. I am trying really hard to think of all the bad things that he did to me, but I also think of some of the good things, like, he would lay by me, he would tell me how hot I looked, he would call me a lot, and that is about it.. So you see, he did not really do me any good.. I did not learn anything good out of this reationship.. He still wants to be friends and he would totally keep sleeping with me, but its hard to know I was used.. At times I do sit back and think about what I did wrong, why can't he love me.. But no matter what I can't change the fact he does not love me.. I guess it is just hard..
Pyro Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 I was with him for a year, he gave me a std, cheated on me a few times and I still stayed, plus I just got a bill in the mail from the doctor's visits for $1000.00!!! As I don't have any insurance. But for whatever reason I stayed only to find out he does not love me, and will never love me, as he only used me for sex.. Oh my gosh. I am so sorry. He never deserved to be with you. I can't believe that he gave you an STD. He is lower then scum. You have no reason to be sad that he is out of your life. You should be thrilled that he is gone. While you are at home moping around, he is out using other women. Get up and move on with your life.
Author Summer2000 Posted October 8, 2006 Author Posted October 8, 2006 Tony T, Your funny.. I would really like to know or find some kind of answer on how we can fall in love with people that treat us bad and yet we would give them the world.. It just does not add up to me..
Pyro Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 I know what you are saying, and again maybe my ego is just bruised, but I really miss him.. I am trying really hard to think of all the bad things that he did to me, but I also think of some of the good things, like, he would lay by me, he would tell me how hot I looked, he would call me a lot, and that is about it.. But all those good things were lies. He used you for sex. There was nothing good about him.
Author Summer2000 Posted October 8, 2006 Author Posted October 8, 2006 Thank God that the std I had, went away.. I had to take some pills and it was gone.. I am so scared he is out with some other girl, putting on the act that he wants to settle down and how he is such a caring person, when he is not.. When he kisses you, he kisses really soft, so he makes you feel like he cares for you so much, he would hold your hand into the movies, things like that, but after a few months, it all went down hill and it was all about him and his needs.. I could not even wear my hair in a pony tail, as he did not like that..
Author Summer2000 Posted October 8, 2006 Author Posted October 8, 2006 But for whatever reason I know he used me for the year we were together, but I can't seem to accept it.. Does that make sense? My heart is not allowing myself to understand that he is gone.. My heart keeps telling me he will come back, but I know he won't..
Pyro Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 But for whatever reason I know he used me for the year we were together, but I can't seem to accept it.. Does that make sense? My heart is not allowing myself to understand that he is gone.. My heart keeps telling me he will come back, but I know he won't.. Look at the relationship from an outsiders point of view and you will see just how much he screwed you over. You shouldn't let an ass like that keep you down in the least bit. Even if he did come back to you, could you honestly say that you would consider taking him back? Its over. Its time to look ahead and not behind.
Fun2BMe Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 I would really like to know or find some kind of answer on how we can fall in love with people that treat us bad and yet we would give them the world.. It just does not add up to me.. It could be a chemical reaction. If when you are with someone and at any time they treat you very well, you release chemicals that alter your feelings towards them so that even when they end up treating you badly, you are stuck with still loving them. This happens usually when there is a sexual relationship. That's why it's not good to consumate the relationship until you develop REAL love that is deserved based on their behavior towards you rather than for the sexual feelings that released love chemicals that you are stuck with and could take a long time to wear off.
Author Summer2000 Posted October 8, 2006 Author Posted October 8, 2006 I am really trying here.. I know if a friend ever told me that there man did what my ex did to me I would tell them to run the other direction, but I am the type of person who cares more about others then myself..
Fun2BMe Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 That's very common so don't think something is wrong with you. I don't know if it happens more with girls than with boys though.
Rooster_DAR Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 This whole thing sounds like a classic case of "Wanting what you can't have". Also, lot's of women (and men too) seem to be drawn or attracted to someone who is wrong for them on many levels. Some of the veteran LS members say to use more of your head when finding a good partner, not as much of your heart. I believe this to be true as well. Good luck!
shawn_68 Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 I would really like to know or find some kind of answer on how we can fall in love with people that treat us bad and yet we would give them the world.. It's the CHALLENGE they present. The unattainable. Desiring what is close, just within your reach, but also just beyond the grasp of keeping. As humans, we tend to place our highest value on that which is just beyond our grasp. While finding the need to escape that which is "easy" and "controllable." "Players" fully understand this concept. And they will gladly use it to their advantage. Why? Because it works to get what they want. Recognize this. And make more informed decisions about whom you date.
shawn_68 Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 Some of the veteran LS members say to use more of your head when finding a good partner, not as much of your heart. Very good advice!!
sexy_T-Bear_ny83 Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 You know what the sad thing is? The fact that if he was good to you you probably would have moved on... you see the fact that he was so bad is the reason you stayed. Most wemon have this strange mental illness where they cant appriecaite a good guy. the find that boring and they all crave that Bad Guy, that mystierus guy LOL Muahaha... you suffer fom this illness. you want to find a bad guy and change him. This goes out to you and all the other girls out there, These bad guy you aint ever gonna change them! Ever! Understand that. Give up this usless struggle to change them. Ether accept them for what they are and stop complaining or sit there and cry about it. Just do me a favor don't take it all out on a good guy. This is what you guys tend to do. Also IT"S CALLED A CONDOM AKA RUBBER AKA LOVE GLOVE there given out for free in most places and there cheap and save lives. Why didn't you use one? {cuzz it feels better? lol} Get blessed
sexy_T-Bear_ny83 Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 listen to the eminem song called "DRIPS" also "superman"
shawn_68 Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 Also IT"S CALLED A CONDOM AKA RUBBER AKA LOVE GLOVE there given out for free in most places and there cheap and save lives. Why didn't you use one? {cuzz it feels better? lol} Get blessed Try to be a little more understanding and compassionate. We're all in this together to learn. There's already enough hurt to go around.
Author Summer2000 Posted October 8, 2006 Author Posted October 8, 2006 Yeah, maybe you are all correct in saying it is a challange, and yes it is about trying to change someone for the better.. I am feeling a little better today, I am still sad, but maybe its the point of not having someone around as well.. Thank must of you for being understanding.. About the condom, well, we all make mistakes!! I am sure you have made a few mistakes yourself!!
Guest Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 Im not trying to hurt anybody, Im just being frank. Also that was a stupid mistake especially if he is cheating. also in the midst of all this "understanding" sometimes you need someone to get in your face and tell you what your doing or did or about to do is totally stupid! Im sorry summer I've been hurt many times but not using protection is just so stupid! It's not like your in Africa where you did'nt have accesss to one{meaning condom} cuzz evan those people would use them if they had one lieing around. I hope you come out of this a stronger person summer. cuzz you sound innoccent. Im just tring to help. sorry if you took it the wrong way
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