phyrespryte Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 I've been seeing this guy for a little over a month now. We haven't talked about being exclusive, but we agreed on waiting on the sex thing. His idea. Not mine. He said that he didn't want to hurt me. That in the past he'd be an ass and rush things and then later on realize that he didn't want to be with that person. So last week he went back home to see his family for four days and this week he went to visit his old college friends in Wisconsin for the weekend. To me this seems fine. His family and friends live on the other side of the country, so it's not like he gets to see them often. My sister and her boyfriend think this is strange. They are saying I'm being naive and that I need to ask him if we're exclusive. They say that he's stringing me along. Am I being naive? Is he stringing me along? To me everything seemed alright, but now they're making me paranoid. For example...he said that he's uncomfortable with pda's in front of people he knows. My sister is like...that means he doesn't want people to know you're together! Is she right?
johan Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 I think it's a good rule of thumb to not let yourself get any closer than he's allowing himself to get. If he's being evasive and secretive, then he's not being very open and there's no closeness there. You can assume he has other things going on. He may not be seeing any other women, but clearly he wants to keep much of the rest of his life to himself. So I suggest you don't get too invested. Let him come to you with suggestions for more. That PDA thing is weird.
kjl933 Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 Don't let the PDA deal get you. Some people are just not into it. Honestly, I would feel much more comfortable getting in to a lip lock with an ass grab in an elevator in a hotel for a romantic weekend than I would at Thanksgiving with Grandmom Bessie! Love or attraction is not determined by PDA. But I agree with Johan in that you just need to parallel him and his commitment to you, but it cannot hurt to ask...hey we have been dating a month now, and I really enjoy what we have and I personally do not have any desire to date anyone else.
johan Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 Another option: Write him a long letter telling him how deeply you love him. Make it clear to him that you'd die if he didn't feel the same way. And that you don't care who you take with you. Tie that letter to a brick and throw it through his windshield. A little passion never hurt.
elijahBailey Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 It's probably that 1. he's ambivalent about the relationship, so 2. he doesn't wanna hurt you by getting physical, but 3. he still wants to string you along and see if things work out But I don't get the PDA thing. What's it got to do with anything anyways?
elijahBailey Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 Another option: Write him a long letter telling him how deeply you love him. Make it clear to him that you'd die if he didn't feel the same way. And that you don't care who you take with you. Tie that letter to a brick and throw it through his windshield. A little passion never hurt. :lmao: that's a good one :lmao: ...... btw, you're joking, aren't you
Author phyrespryte Posted October 8, 2006 Author Posted October 8, 2006 Another option: Write him a long letter telling him how deeply you love him. Make it clear to him that you'd die if he didn't feel the same way. And that you don't care who you take with you. Tie that letter to a brick and throw it through his windshield. A little passion never hurt. Ah. Yes. I've been longing to do that. But I figured that would be better after the 3 month anniversary.
re-searching Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 I've been seeing this guy for a little over a month now. How often have you seen him during this month? Once a week = 4-5 times.
Author phyrespryte Posted October 8, 2006 Author Posted October 8, 2006 But I don't get the PDA thing. What's it got to do with anything anyways? Well it could just be that he's embarassed to do that in public, or that he's trying to look single. My sister thinks it's the latter. 1. he's ambivalent about the relationship, so 2. he doesn't wanna hurt you by getting physical, but 3. he still wants to string you along and see if things work out Isn't that just how dating works?
Author phyrespryte Posted October 8, 2006 Author Posted October 8, 2006 How often have you seen him during this month? Once a week = 4-5 times. Well last month 3 times, but for one week we were in different countries so nothing happend. This past week I've seen him more than usual because we go to the same school.
re-searching Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 I think it may be too soon to think about all of that. Your sister may move faster than he does. I also find PDA a little werd when I really do not 'know' the person I am dating. It does take a while to get to know someone and then things fall into place.
Author phyrespryte Posted October 8, 2006 Author Posted October 8, 2006 Don't let the PDA deal get you. Some people are just not into it. Honestly, I would feel much more comfortable getting in to a lip lock with an ass grab in an elevator in a hotel for a romantic weekend than I would at Thanksgiving with Grandmom Bessie! It's funny that you mentioned elevators. He really likes elevators. Love or attraction is not determined by PDA. But I agree with Johan in that you just need to parallel him and his commitment to you, but it cannot hurt to ask...hey we have been dating a month now, and I really enjoy what we have and I personally do not have any desire to date anyone else. I think I'll try that. I'm a little worried that might freak him out though. I know that he's never been in a long term relationship...well unless 4 months is considered long.
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