heytherelonelyboy Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 Heres my story: My girlfriend just left me after a loving 3 year relationship, but its the way it all happened that has me confused. Last Friday I came from work and we were planning on going out when she started crying and telling me she couldnt do this anymore, and that she has felt this way for a very long time. Obviously this caught me off-guard. She cited her reasons, there were many, and I totally understand, I wasnt the best boyfriend recently. I tell her things can be different and to give me a week to show it, if she feels the same in a week, she can leave and I wont fight it. She agreed to this and even apologized to me for wanting to break up! We went out to dinner, everything was great, we didnt really talk about "us" that night, good times. Then the next day I was going over to her place and stopped and bought some flowers for her. I got to her place and gave her the flowers and she said she loved them and gave me a big ol hug and kiss, good times still. We sit around and watch TV for a couple hours and she starts to cry again, again, saying she cannot do this anymore. I was devestated. We have talked a couple times since then and I have seen her once just to get some things. She acts like she has already moved on but I can tell she is still in pain. I am really confused as to what is going on. I tried to talk to her the couple times shes called me to ask me for $60 I owe her (which I paid immediatley) and another time online, but she is very cold towards me. I don't get what is going through her mind, does she really not want to be with me or is she angry and confused? Has anyone else gone through this same thing? Any advice would be very welcome. Thanks. ALso I feel like I have made efforts to move on, I have been going out with friends, going to the gym and working a lot more and the pain has subsided a little bit. I also feel that if she did want to continue a relationship I would have to think very long and hard about it. At this point I really just need some clarity.
ImInPain Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 Almost same boat man. I just need some clarity. I think mine has replaced me. I have some pretty good reasons to believe this and it's a shame because we could have had it all. I will never love anyone like I love her again. Mine was very needy and to just cut me off and not be needy anymore doesn't add up. I know she loves me and is hurting but she will see. I know the new guy and he is a complete loser. 5 years down the drain. Hope she wakes up before I am totally gone. Good luck... I wish people would just be honest! I know that sometimes they don't want to hurt your feelings but damn. This hurts too damn much...
Author heytherelonelyboy Posted October 7, 2006 Author Posted October 7, 2006 Sorry to hear that, I dont think my ex has another guy in mind or anything. She works with 40+ year olds and she is 21. I also think I know her better than that. For some reason if there is another guy I think it would be easier for me to get over her. I dont feel too much anger toward her right now, just betrayal.
Green Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 look this sucks but you have to move on. This is about as nice a break up as you could ask for even though it is kind of weird. She wouldnt be doing this if she still wanted to be togather and its great that you said your not sure if you'd even get back with her after this. My guess is that she just doesnt see herself with you for the rest of her life she may have stupid reasons for this or they may be valid what ever the case thats reality you'll find a girl again
ImInPain Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 Dude never trust anything... I am 40 and mine is 26. She just turned 27 and I was 35 when we met and she was 22. I just want you to keep your eyes open and not be blinded by love. I am and it hurts too much. I love her sooo much that I never saw the truth and now she is gone. I hope rebound guy treats her like crap real soon. Totally crushed.
Green Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 yeah plus if your using the fact that she works with 40 year olds as the only basis as why she couldnt be leaving you for another guy, she could have met a guy at any of the millions of places she goes with or with out you every day. Some guy online might have started talking to her and like the other poster said at 21 she could date a 40 year old guy it wouldnt be the craziest thing that ever happened. Things are over it sucks I know just keep telling yourself to move on and you'll be a better man I'm kind of going through the same thing and I only hope that I can follow my own advice cause if we do we'll be better off cause what ever did happen u know for sure she wants to end it.
Rooster_DAR Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 In my experience when this kind of thing happens there is usually someone else in the picture. Perhaps not on a physical level yet, but someone has caught their eye. Also, a lot of men are blindsighted when his G/F finally wants to breakup. Women have a way of hiding their true feelings and intentions until it's too late to intervene. In other words, they leave the relationship way before the guy is clued into it. The crying on her part is the guilt she is feeling for having to break up with you. You are very lucky, a lot of women will drag their men through an emotional rollercoaster before things end. At least you have some good youth on your side, so don't sweat it. Regards,
gfto Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 does she really not want to be with me or is she angry and confused? She isn't confused. She is simply not into you anymore, and she hasn't been for a long time. There's nothing you can do about it. Move on.
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