Bernard70 Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 I am dating a married woman, her husband cheated 5 years ago, and she’s been living with this since then. When I met her we started to exchange e-mails (~50-100 per day), from time to time we sat e-chatting the whole night, we talked about everything and then the sex part started to appear; Her husband got suspicious and confronted her, she told him she loves me, He got crazy and for more than two months every night he begged her to "come back" and to have sex with him; the occasional times she had she was not thinking about him (at least is what she said). The problem is that they share the same bed, and I can see her only during classes’ days. We meet, we talk, and we laugh. She tells me she loves me, she is crazy about me, She wants to go to my classes , to spend more time, etc. I am really comfortable with her, and eventually started to think (and tell her) about living with her. She told me she wants to help her husband for some time to get a better position and of course to complete the raising of their kids and then to divorce, actually she told him that. However, the last week she started reducing drastically the number of emails and there was “something” in the air when I met her a couple of days ago, she told me she spent another night with him, still she was talking about “us” in a “normal” way. However most of what I said was not answered in the "usual" way I told her yesterday that I will have to leave the city to look for another place to live. She started to cry and begging me not to do that.By know I am confused, sad, and I do not what to think. Is she slowly dumping me?, should I confront her?? Should I avoid her?I am just asking not to receive any offensive answers
Bryanp Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 Open your eyes. You are in love with a cheater. She loves your attention but continues to screw her husband and told you she wants to help the husband improve himself and raise the children. Good grief. Stop wasting your time and find a single woman you can share your life with. This woman is a cakewoman who enjoys being married to her husband and still has sex with him and enjoys you who provides so much of her emotional needs. You are simply short changing yourself. By the way, a woman who will cheat with you will cheat on you. She has already shown you that she has a broken moral compass. Stop being a fool and move on and find someone who is single and availiable.
JamesM Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 Without a doubt....move on. As difficult as that sounds, it is the only option. Read Bryans post. Remember, she cheated on him with you. She WILL cheat on you with someone else. Besides, she is with him...and is not leaving. She told me she wants to help her husband for some time to get a better position and of course to complete the raising of their kids and then to divorce, actually she told him that. This is her answer as regards to your future. Kids need to be raised until they are 18. And if you don't have kids, then you cannot understand how children come first. Leave for your sake.
InaPanic Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 I do think she's not being honest with you or perhaps she is & she does want to stay in her marriage & have you on the side. It sounds like you love her too much to share her. It may be time for you to distance yourself. I have to address the 'once a cheater always a cheater' comments. Don't buy that. People can & do change. People can & do make mistakes & move on & are ok. People who shoplift are not considered 'once a thief always a thief'. If this were the case then no one would ever be in a succesful second marriage & i'm sure it happens. I think it's possible for people to learn from their mistakes. And anyone who's trying to be 'holier than thou' & be too judgemental need to remember that maybe they haven't cheated but everyone has done something in their life at some point that they are ashamed of & would not do again if given the opportunity. So try to cut some slack. Ok, off my soapbox now
Author Bernard70 Posted October 7, 2006 Author Posted October 7, 2006 Thanks very much for all the answers. I agree that I should stop this relationship. It's difficult (and painful) I know and due to the fact that I do love her , then even more difficult. As a guy I am more in the "possesive" part than the logical one, I will be thinking for some time that maybe she will do the same she did with me( and in the same places) but with someone else, this due to the fact that she already tasted the sweetness of cheating; I know I know, I am not supposed to think about that or better: it shouldn't be part of my life. However I will have to cut all contact with her. The last question if I can ask (just for my internal peace), :why she instead of straighforward saying that we are over she behaves in such dumb way?, reducing the amonut of e-mail contact , like if now this is not as important as it was before( always looking for some place to send me emails), or maybe because she finds "better" things at home than with me.??..
JamesM Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 Because she is letting you down easy...in her mind, or she is afraid of confronting you. She has either lost her excitement and initial rush for the relationship or she has decided that she had better put more energy back into her marriage.
Flyin in Clouds Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 I am dating a married woman, ... Are you an idiot or what? Clearly you have no morals. SHE'S MARRIED. Don't mess with another man's wife.
Flyin in Clouds Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 .... I agree that I should stop this relationship. You should never have started this relationship. If you ever get married and you and your wife are having problems would you appreciate someone interfering in that relationship? May it happen to you some day...
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