reneet Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 Apparently you can get a degree in psychology from the inside of a cracker jack box these days because your statements about your own affair are reeking of self-delusion. Your need for him is not about self-discipline or morality or selfishness? Yeah, Ok. Keep telling yourself that if it helps you sleep through the night. Stay hidden under that GUEST name ok.
Guest Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 Just because someone thinks differently than you "Guest," does not mean that they are delusional...further your sarcasm is unwarranted...if you have insight to share, share it...otherwise, keep "The world according to Guest" to yourself... Don't get me wrong. I'm not here to fight a venomous battle against OWs, I WAS ONE. I find it rather insane that someone with a psych. degree could be in such serious denial. What I was referring to when I called her delusional was her statement about her affair having nothing to do with selfishness, morality, or self-discipline. Sure, if you want to knit pick morality is completely subjective. Self-discipline differs from affair to affair because some OW are the aggressors or simply don't care if the person is married, but being a participant in an affair (when one knows they are in an affair) is being selfish. It's putting your wants, needs, and feelings before another person's or peoples (which isn't always a bad thing but it is the dictonary definition of the word selfish). Participating in an affair is the epitome of acting in self interest. Let's call a spade a spade, shall we? Hey, I may be lacking in tact but at least I'm honest with myself. As far as the whole "having the guts" to create a screen name thing..... Does anyone realize how rediculous that comment is? You are somehow braver than someone else because you created a handle on an internet forum? Can you uncover another person's real life idenitity having created said screen name? No? Then you are still anonomous! It doesn't take any guts at all to throw a few letters and numbers together. Seriously, I wouldn't be expecting an award ceremony with the mayor or a purple heart anytime soon.....
Guest Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 As far as the whole "having the guts" to create a screen name thing..... Does anyone realize how rediculous that comment is? You are somehow braver than someone else because you created a handle on an internet forum? Can you uncover another person's real life idenitity having created said screen name? No? Then you are still anonomous! It doesn't take any guts at all to throw a few letters and numbers together. Seriously, I wouldn't be expecting an award ceremony with the mayor or a purple heart anytime soon..... From one guest to another, I think I love you! Disregard if you're married. NO amount of love could make me cross that line.
GreenEyedLady Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 Sure, if you want to knit pick morality is completely subjective. Self-discipline differs from affair to affair because some OW are the aggressors or simply don't care if the person is married, but being a participant in an affair (when one knows they are in an affair) is being selfish. It's putting your wants, needs, and feelings before another person's or peoples (which isn't always a bad thing but it is the dictonary definition of the word selfish). Participating in an affair is the epitome of acting in self interest. Let's call a spade a spade, shall we? I considered giving a rebuttal to you dissertation on SELF-discipline, SELF-ishness and SELF-interest, but decided not to waste my breath...it is obvious that you just want to hear YOUR-SELF talk...
Guest Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 I considered giving a rebuttal to you dissertation on SELF-discipline, SELF-ishness and SELF-interest, but decided not to waste my breath...it is obvious that you just want to hear YOUR-SELF talk... Yeah... I can be a totally self centered individual, but that's nethier here nor there. As human beings we sometimes have a tendency to BS ourselves into not accepting important things about our own personalities or behavior that we should acknowledge. A person who went to college for four years in order to obtain a degree in psychology should know this. That was the irony. Unfortunately, her "research" is tainted by the bias of her own affair and it's obvious from her statements. I called her on it. It's funny how strongly you've been trying to attack me for comments I made about someone else. This person was a guest as well but she was never critized for not creating a SN, want to know why? Because she spent the entire post justifying why affairs are a-ok (in her own mind). She could make a million posts as guest and no one would say a darn thing because she was feeding people exactly what they want to hear. I refuse to coddle, make excuses, or flat out lie in order to make people feel better about the choices they make in life. I don't see how coddling is any more helpful than the sarcasm I used in my first post. Actually, I think it may even be more damaging in a covert sort of way.
PoshPrincess Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 Sure, if you want to knit pick morality is completely subjective. Self-discipline differs from affair to affair because some OW are the aggressors or simply don't care if the person is married, but being a participant in an affair (when one knows they are in an affair) is being selfish. It's putting your wants, needs, and feelings before another person's or peoples (which isn't always a bad thing but it is the dictonary definition of the word selfish). Participating in an affair is the epitome of acting in self interest. Let's call a spade a spade, shall we? I considered giving a rebuttal to you dissertation on SELF-discipline, SELF-ishness and SELF-interest, but decided not to waste my breath...it is obvious that you just want to hear YOUR-SELF talk... Nice one, GEL! StillHere, totally echo all your sentiments re your MM sitch. Although my MM and I are no longer in a R as such, we are still in touch, still love each other, and that's what is so hard to let go. Thing i can't get my head round is why they say if they leave and things don't work out with us they will be left with nothing. Do they not love us enough to take that risk? I ask myself that question every day. Easy for me to say though as when I left my partner, my son came with me. Generally the men have to leave their kids behind as well as the W. Feel like screaming just thinking about it all today.....
reneet Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 I'm so sorry that you don't have a choice on who you have sex with. How sad for you. Please tell me one good reason that a OW would have sex with a married man. Please exclude the "I didn't know he was married". That one is clearly not the OW fault unless she continued the affair after she found out. How about being an adult and taking respponsibility for your actions? Why would your husband want/need to have a relationship with another woman should be the question here. ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
Guest Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 Why would your husband want/need to have a relationship with another woman should be the question here. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? But that's not the question I asked. I already have the answer to that one. Are you unable to answer the original question? You are what every OW wants to be, so go ahead give them some encouragement.
stillhere Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 Nice one, GEL! StillHere, totally echo all your sentiments re your MM sitch. Although my MM and I are no longer in a R as such, we are still in touch, still love each other, and that's what is so hard to let go. Thing i can't get my head round is why they say if they leave and things don't work out with us they will be left with nothing. Do they not love us enough to take that risk? I ask myself that question every day. Easy for me to say though as when I left my partner, my son came with me. Generally the men have to leave their kids behind as well as the W. Feel like screaming just thinking about it all today..... I didn't quite understand when he said that i would leave him and he would be alone. I guess he was just trying to see things from every angle possible. He knows she's not going anywhere, i'm the uncertain one. I'm the one who gets asked out daily, she can't turn heads. So i guess i can understand his fear. Sometimes i think the same thing. Does he love me enough to leave? I'm not always so sure it has everything to do with love. It's an extremely drastic change, and most people don't like change, especially married men who are comfortable. Plus add in the fear of not seeing their children, losing everything they have, etc. etc. The list could go on and on. I believe it is hard for them. I understand that. That is why i don't put too much pressure on him. I know he thinks of this situation and us daily. When he thinks he knows what's right, he will tell me, whether it's what i want to hear or not.
GreenEyedLady Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 But that's not the question I asked. I already have the answer to that one. Are you unable to answer the original question? You are what every OW wants to be, so go ahead give them some encouragement. Because it's the best sex ever!!! (Sarcasm here...) (Although it happens to also be true in my case...that it's the best sex ever, not the reason I want to have sex with a MM) Is that what you want to hear "guest"? My question to you is: WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW SO BAD?!
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