Guest Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 My girlfriend of 2 years and I broke up last weekend under sad, but positive circumstances, with an agreement that we would check back in a month and see how we were feeling about things. We broke up because she's spread too thin with work/GMAT/other stuff to give time to relationship and because she's been up and down as to whether she's ready mentally to be in a relationship. Shes 28, Im 29 and she has recently started therapy to deal with some issues that began to surface in our relationship. The hard part to the break up is that everything has been great-we get along great all the time, love each other, dont fight-etc, but she may not be ready or mature enough (her own words). It may just be an issue of timing, not me or her or an issue of someone else. As a result it became a very one sided relationship recently with her not putting effort into it and it finally came to a hard, frustrating end primarily on my part. I'm looking at it as the end for now, but not for good. We're still going to a wedding in a month together in Mexico and I told her I wouldnt be going as a friend, but only as we had in the past as normal. We've spoken about it and are looking forward to having a great time together and "picking up right where we left off". We're supposed to get together the weekend before and get reaquianted for the trip. So here's my question: in the meantime, I'm in limbo trying to figure out what to expect from this week together in mexico. Is it going to be an intro to a new fresh start together, or just a nice week together that will leave us both more confused? How do I approach it?
bluechocolate Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 Is it going to be an intro to a new fresh start together, or just a nice week together that will leave us both more confused? That entirely depends, primarily on her by the sounds of it. Personally I've never been a fan of break-dancing, but you are where you are, now you're just going to have to wait & see. In the meantime try to stop figuring anything out.
shawn_68 Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 So here's my question: in the meantime, I'm in limbo trying to figure out what to expect from this week together in mexico. Is it going to be an intro to a new fresh start together, or just a nice week together that will leave us both more confused? How do I approach it? Expect the worse, hope for the best. To me, it depends upon if she was truthful about the reasons for the breakup. It sounds like there could still be hope. But are you being deceived? Maybe, maybe not. If you ask me, too many times when a breakup occurs the dumper tends to sugarcoat the reasons. Thus giving the dumpee reasons to hold on. It's dishonest, unloving, and just plain wrong. No matter how "nice" the intentions. Nobody here knows what's in her mind. If you trust her reasons, be patient and don't push for anything. Let things move at her pace. Go into this with both eyes wide open. Pay attention to her actions. In time you will know.
ImInPain Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 I agree be very careful. Mine told me she loved me more than anything and tells me she wants time to soul search. She was very deceptive all summer and I was too trusting. I really believe there is someone else and it is just killing me. I wish she would just be honest with me. I hear allot of things from people and it seems as though she has fallen for a guy she works with. I am just devastated and as my SN says in tons of pain. Why can't people just be honest with each other? It's a shame I love her so much and she has become involved with a real loser. She will see in time and I am waiting but for how long? I just love her too much. Good luck.... Don't let the love blinders keep you in the dark....
shawn_68 Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 I am just devastated and as my SN says in tons of pain. Why can't people just be honest with each other? It's a shame I love her so much and she has become involved with a real loser. It's really hard to see this now. I know there's lots of pain. But one day everything will be just fine. All of this will be a distant memory. And there will be lots of joy in your life. Know that this has happened for a reason. To prepare you for the rest of your life. It's never in vain. From our deepest pain we learn compassion, humility, character, and perseverence. Our ability to "feel" runs deep. You are becoming who you are meant to be. -S
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