Guest Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 i've been dating this jewish guy for a couple months. the problem with me is that i always feel lonely because he is a kind of guy who is so self-sustainable that he usually find other people to bother him... (as i never dated a jewish guy before, i had no idea if he is typical jewish... pls let me know if that's the case.) i knew what he's like when i dated him a couple of times, and i thought the relationship with him would be so stressful, and difficult for me. When i expressed my thought, he said he'd make an exception to special someone, and he is ready to treat me well.... so that's how our relationship has started. it's been bumpy, mostly becuase i'm not happy with what he's doing with me. A couple of weeks ago, he said he'd have his relatives (though he put them as his 'family') in town who'd fly from other countries, and they'd stay for a month. And he said it'd be hard for him to see me during their stay, because he needed to take care of them. He said he was not close to them, but he had a family business to be resolved. And he even said he'd better not introduce me to them, because he's afraid they might ask 'lousy questions...' not sure what that means... anyway, he asked my patience and understanding. i feel really bad about this. should i stomach this?
Cheshire Cat Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 He doesn't really sound like the kind of guy you'd be happy with in the long run - and you know it. Him being not available while his relatives are visiting sounds like neither the first nor the last problem of a long list. Is it really worth it to date someone whose idea of "treating you exceptionally well for his standards" is doing not enough to make you happy? I'm not saying he's a jerk. It's just the way he is with people in general. And the two of you do not sound really compatible.
Guest Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 but i love him... i know he won't change. he is old enough, and he got a certain edge... he won't change... i told him a couple of times what made me annoying, like him not calling me back, him making me waiting, you know, small things, but important things to me... But i really didn't tell him about a fundamental issue ever since i brought it up in the beginning stage of the relationship as i mentioned in my first post. And i want to bring it up sometime soon, otherwise, i don't think i can continue this relationship. i'm not happy, and so stressed out. pls let me know if there is any smart way of telling him about my feeling. i really don't want to fight with him, instead, i want him to understand my emotion, and him make more efforts in developing our relationship. He doesn't really sound like the kind of guy you'd be happy with in the long run - and you know it. Him being not available while his relatives are visiting sounds like neither the first nor the last problem of a long list. Is it really worth it to date someone whose idea of "treating you exceptionally well for his standards" is doing not enough to make you happy? I'm not saying he's a jerk. It's just the way he is with people in general. And the two of you do not sound really compatible.
TattooedPrincess Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 it's been bumpy, mostly becuase i'm not happy with what he's doing with me. A couple of weeks ago, he said he'd have his relatives (though he put them as his 'family') in town who'd fly from other countries, and they'd stay for a month. And he said it'd be hard for him to see me during their stay, because he needed to take care of them. He said he was not close to them, but he had a family business to be resolved. And he even said he'd better not introduce me to them, because he's afraid they might ask 'lousy questions...' not sure what that means... anyway, he asked my patience and understanding. i feel really bad about this. should i stomach this? Maybe his folks has cultural problem. You know they don't believe that he should date a non jew. If this is the case it is not hard to imagine the lousy questions they may ask and add pressure to the relationship he has with you.
js97 Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 but you just started dating him?? here is some advice from a guys perspective.. when you have can't squeeze a few days in a month to see your girlfriend because of family.. then really.. you're not that important for him... i.e. you're probably there for his amusement/boredom... or sexual needs.. and thats about it. if you can stomach it.. then continue to be treated like a second class girlfriend... But be in the clear, you're not that important to him. cheers
Art_Critic Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 'lousy questions...' not sure what that means... Lousy questions means " Is she Jewish ? " Dating someone that is Jewish when you aren't is next to impossible. I dated Jewish girl once that said she didn't practice her faith and didn't matter to her if I was Jewish or not.. Well her family did.. and really she did as well.. her life even though she didn't practice the faith revolved around the faith as that is all she knew.. I think I lasted 4 or 5 dates before I pulled away from her.. I think she was just trying to alter the chances of meeting and dating someone because she was having a tough time finding a jewish man that she was compatiable with. To answer your question.. No his excuse means he doesn't accept you and that shouldn't be acceptable to you
Recommended Posts