hyposris Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 Hi everyone, I need some advice from people that have been (or are in) a long term relationship. So I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 6 years. We met at college in upstate New York and have been together ever since. He was my first and only boyfriend. Before him, I’d never been with anyone or done anything sexual with another person. Over the years, we’ve dealt with a lot of problems and have tried really hard to work them out. But even though I love him very much and am quite sexually attracted to him, I get easily infatuated with other guys and sometimes fantasize about being with others. While I’ve never done anything with someone else, I wonder a lot about what it would be like. And it’s not just a desire for pure sex either. I think about dating others and feeling new romantic connections. I want to ask you guys about your experiences with these kinds of emotions and how you have dealt with them? I know that every long term relationship goes a typical loss of initial romantic spark. But how do you know when the spark is completely gone? Do people in LTR somehow have to keep a little bit of that spark going for the relationship to work? I feel like my boyfriend is like my best friend, or a close brother: someone that I love very much, can tell my secrets to, can be a shoulder I can cry on, someone I depend on for support, and vice versa. I don’t want to lose that, but I also don’t feel much of a "romantic" feeling towards him, even though I am quite sexually attracted to him. I’m so confused. What is a romantic feeling anyway? I wonder if I’m just looking for something that will never be there in any long term relationship. For those people with LTR experience, what is it that you like about your partner? Besides the dependability, the emotional closeness, or even the sex, what keeps you sticking to him/her as a partner instead of as a close friend? How is that particular love for him/her different from the love you have for family and friends? We recently moved to separate places so I only see him on some weekends. This has only increased my desire to look elsewhere for a relationship. I feel like even if everything was perfect and we had zero problems, I'd still feel this way. I guess I'm just not sure if I'm experiencing something along the lines of feeling like the grass is always greener on the other side, or if I truly don't have a romantic connection with my boyfriend.
BannaBee57 Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 Let me tell you something Hyposris. I was in a 2.5 year relationship and was having those types of feelings...like we were close friends and wondered what other relationships are like. I never cheated but did start to pull away emotionaly and physicaly and we eventauly broke up. To make a long story short I am now in the worst pain of my life over the mistake I made as I asked for another chance and he said no. If you do decide to break up with him to explore new relatioships you should make absolutly sure that you know its the right thing and won't regret it later like I did.
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