Cardinal64 Posted October 6, 2006 Posted October 6, 2006 Hello again all. I confronted my wife about a month and a half ago - about email text messages that I read on her cellphone from another man. Ok ok, what was I doing reading her cellphone msgs ? Hell she is my wife. Besides, she had a fling with another man some time back. But I thought that she had realized that that was a big mistake. And things had returned to some level of normalcy between us. But I still had my doubts. Anyway, the messages were of the sort that she indicated to this new guy - that she desired him - and he responded back - no suprise - that he desired her. The thing that really got me was that she referred to herself in one of these msgs as "Your Darling ". That really cut to the bone . When I confronted her - she claimed that he was just a "friend". Yeah right. Some friend. She claims that nothing had happened btw them and that the guy had left the island where we live. However, I did check her cell again about 2 weeks later - and she was still sending and receiving text msgs from this man. My question is - how many others - have checked the cellphones msgs of their spouses . After all if they have nothing to hide - what is the real harm ? I told her that anytime she wants she can see what is on my cellphone message record. I have nothing to hide. Anyway thanks for reading.
2sunny Posted October 6, 2006 Posted October 6, 2006 I think you should be worried - and looking into what else she may have been doing. Sounds to me like she was cheating, and had been for some time. Do not assume that if he is out of sight that he's outta mind....
Jane Doe Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 I've checked messages in the past but it's been a long time. I have no reason to be suspicious now. It sounds like your wife has a pattern of infidelity. What are your plans concerning this?
justice Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 The cellphone was the way I found out about my H's affair. Cellphones are true evil for those of us who are faithful and who's spouse's aren't, my advice check the cell bill if you can and the cell whenever you can, I hate cells! Good luck to you. I do know how this feels.
MrDarcy Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 I know this thread is a few days old, but I just had to vent a little too. I agree with justice. Cell msgs have caused a lot of grief. It's way too easy to start an innocent flirt or, in my case, for other men to make advances towards my wife. Then again, it if wasn't for the msgs I would never have become aware that something was wrong in the first place and been able to confront my wife before it went any furhter. Although if it hadn't been for the messages we wouldn't have had a problem to begin with. I recon text messages make it a lot easier for affairs to start. I can't really explain why, but it's something about how much easier it is to adress someone without actually having to face the person, or take responsibility for what you say. Anyway, answering the OP's question, I must say that following the "incident" I checked my wife's cell quite frequently, although without her knowing, so that I could confirm that she had infact stopped excahanging messages. Recently though I find myself checking her cell only once every few days. Either she has in fact stopped, or she's doing a very good job covering it up. I'm willing to go with the first one.
everlong Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 gawd..i am so sorry you both are hurting each other...not a great way to live your life eh. unfortunately, when it comes to cheating there really isn't much one can do to 'repair' that trust....its different with other problem issues like mental illness, depression, addictions because usually the person inflicted with these things would rather not be but by the sounds if it this person freely chooses to behave this way...by the very fact, that she has not covered her tracks and has made it easy for you to doubt her and snoop tells you she doesn't care. that's a horrible existence. i have a male friend who is still married and his wife cheats all the time...the first time she 'came back' to him, she would wear the earrings that her 'affair-toy' had bought her, around the house....wtf is that! she would come back, get bored because regular life is tough, run off have a fling, get dumped, come back, repeat repeat, and he has taken her back 4 times! and each time they get more vicous to each other. it is sad to witness.
Bryanp Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 Your wife has already had a fling a while back and now this? Open your eyes. This is highly disrespectful to you. If the roles were reversed do you think she would accept this from you? Your wife apparently has very little boundaries. She has a fling with another man and you forgive her and now clearly she desires this other guy. She will continue to do this because apperently there are no consequences to her actions and she knows that she can disrespect and humiliate you and you will continue to forgive her. What is wrong with this picture? What is wrong with her? What is wrong with you? If you do not respect yourself then who will?
InaPanic Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 Speaking as one who cheated the cell phone played a huge role in my short affair. We exchanged hundreds of text messages & were able to talk because of it. Yes, i can now see how some people could hate the cell phone. My own is an ugly reminder to me of what i was capable of doing. I know my husband is checking our cell phone bills now. As far as the text messgs went, all i did was erase them after i read them. They do show on the bill but it doesn't show what they say.
Rooster_DAR Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 I hate cell phones. I started a really long thread regarding the cell-phone thing, whether people thought it was acceptable to spy. That's how I caught my recent EX. Do an LS search on "Text Messaging" and you will get a good insight of how frequent this happens. Most often you will find women using this method for cheating and affairs, but some guys do it to. I am all for spying on your partner if your gut intincts are talking. People who have affairs/cheat will die before they tell the truth, so they keep you as a partner until they know things are going to work out with O/P (very selfish). I want to know for my own personal well being and self respect, and if that calls for snooping then so be it. Regards,
whichwayisup Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 gawd..i am so sorry you both are hurting each other...not a great way to live your life eh. unfortunately, when it comes to cheating there really isn't much one can do to 'repair' that trust....its different with other problem issues like mental illness, depression, addictions because usually the person inflicted with these things would rather not be but by the sounds if it this person freely chooses to behave this way...by the very fact, that she has not covered her tracks and has made it easy for you to doubt her and snoop tells you she doesn't care. that's a horrible existence. i have a male friend who is still married and his wife cheats all the time...the first time she 'came back' to him, she would wear the earrings that her 'affair-toy' had bought her, around the house....wtf is that! she would come back, get bored because regular life is tough, run off have a fling, get dumped, come back, repeat repeat, and he has taken her back 4 times! and each time they get more vicous to each other. it is sad to witness. They're both fools then! The more he takes her back, the less she respects him as she's not suffered ANY consquences of her actions! WTF. I certainly hope there are no kids in this mix...Actually, if there aren't, why are they still married? HE needs to stand up for himself and NOT let her treat him like a piece of crap!!!
everlong Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 unfortunately there are kids in the situation i discussed and even thought they both say they 'worry' about how this impacts them, their actions so otherwises - they are so wrapped up in themselves that they do see that what they say and what they do are totally different. and, i disagree somewhat what you saying he is not 'standing up for himself' - because in many ways he is - he is standing up for his love for her and for his kids to be with their mother. i am not saying i agree with what he is doing but i do understand it. sometimes, telling someone to simply piss off is the easy way out, just like her cheating is. however, it is a selfish thing to do when kids are involved. part of why he does this is because his wife suffers from a mental illness and she refuses to 'seek' help - so i understand their situation.
Simpleplan Posted October 16, 2006 Posted October 16, 2006 Do an LS search on "Text Messaging" and you will get a good insight of how frequent this happens. Most often you will find women using this method for cheating and affairs, but some guys do it to. What is an LS search?
littlekitty Posted October 16, 2006 Posted October 16, 2006 Hit Search on the top LS menu (where is says My Profile/CP, Subscribe etc) then enter the search keywords.
MrDarcy Posted October 21, 2006 Posted October 21, 2006 After reading a lot of infidelity threads here on LS, I can't help but notice that 90% of them start with "I found a message on my wifes/husbands cell....." or "I found an e-mail on my SO's computer....." Just wondering.....what would've happened in these cases if there was no such thing as text-messages or e-mail? Would things have turned out differently or would the same thing have happened, only in a different setting....
Rooster_DAR Posted October 22, 2006 Posted October 22, 2006 After reading a lot of infidelity threads here on LS, I can't help but notice that 90% of them start with "I found a message on my wifes/husbands cell....." or "I found an e-mail on my SO's computer....." Just wondering.....what would've happened in these cases if there was no such thing as text-messages or e-mail? Would things have turned out differently or would the same thing have happened, only in a different setting.... I wonder the same thing exactly. Perhaps it has to do with being connected so easily to other people with all the modern tools that are available. Good observation.
Guest Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 I to found out about my Husbands "friend" by looking at his cell phone. When confronted of course he lied now he deleats the texts and calls to and from his friend.
Rooster_DAR Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 I to found out about my Husbands "friend" by looking at his cell phone. When confronted of course he lied now he deleats the texts and calls to and from his friend. And so the list goes on. I thinks it's plausable to assume that cellphone are a breeding ground for infedelity, as to why I am not sure. Stupid cellphones!
LakesideDream Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 Rooster, come on man! Cel phones are easy to "hide", can be used anywhere (not just from home or office) and serve to keep people connected wherever they are. They are the perfect tool for friends, lovers, or cheaters. I had no clue my ex was cheating until her purse "rang".
Mythical Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 I ****ING HATE cell phones too! I hate even looking at my boys phone from accross the room it makes me sick
Rooster_DAR Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 I ****ING HATE cell phones too! I hate even looking at my boys phone from accross the room it makes me sick Good, I'm not the only one who hates the damn things (although I have and use one for work). I really wonder if cellphone's are partially to blame for this stuff, or perhaps that just make it easier for cheaters to conduct their business thereby making it a tool of the trade. **ucking cellphones.
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