reneet Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 Just keep holding on to him. Keep telling yourself he'll want you & not her. Are you truly happy "Guest"? I really need to know.
reneet Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 IF YOU KNOW HE LOVES HER AND MISSES Her then let him go. Let him be happy. You will move on. You will find happiest with someone else. Let him be a father to his kids. Be there for your childre Your holding on for control. I dont know what you think you are doing by holding on. If he loves her he wont stop wanting to be with her. If he misses her HE will find a way to be with her. If she loves him she wont let go. If she misses him she will wait for him to be with her. There are more problems in your marriage then him cheating. If there wasnt he wouldnt have cheated. And you wouldnt think he is still with her. You dont want to go to MC because i dont think you do want the marriage to work. IMO i think you want him there to pay the bills and so you dont look bad in the eyes of your friends and family. That's all it is!
yousaveme Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 LET HIM GO. You will feel better. So will he. Stop living your marriage in a LIE. That what it is. You are worried about looking like a fool. If he is still in contact with her and you find out later YOU WILL BE A BIGGER FOOL. So look like a fool now. Get over it and move on. Or you can look like a bigger fool later and stew and never move on? And yes if he is still in contact with her HE LOVES HER. If you care about him LET HIM GO AND BE HAPPY. If you care about yourself at all you would want that for yourself too. If you want your kids to be happy. Let them see two happy parents, then two people who are acting.
whichwayisup Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 There's no objectivity here because most who have replied are OW's. OFCOURSE the OW's want her to let go. He owes it to his wife, his children and their marriage to give it his best. And that means letting go of the OW completely. IF the marriage doesn't work out, then fine, let the OW have him. How he is supposed to know now what he wants, he's been with two women, back and forth, ended the relationship with OW and now life is supposed to be back to normal with his wife? Just because he is incontact with OW, doesn't always mean he's "Inlove" with her. It's very easy to confuse feelings of lust, emotional attachment and clicking with someone else. Bottom line, he has issues and needs to sort HIMSELF out before fixing his marriage. He should seek one on one counselling to help him cope with the loss of the OW. HE has to decide what he really wants and not keep TWO women in his life. That is just selfish and cruel.
yousaveme Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 There's no objectivity here because most who have replied are OW's. OFCOURSE the OW's want her to let go. He owes it to his wife, his children and their marriage to give it his best. And that means letting go of the OW completely. IF the marriage doesn't work out, then fine, let the OW have him. How he is supposed to know now what he wants, he's been with two women, back and forth, ended the relationship with OW and now life is supposed to be back to normal with his wife? Just because he is incontact with OW, doesn't always mean he's "Inlove" with her. It's very easy to confuse feelings of lust, emotional attachment and clicking with someone else. Bottom line, he has issues and needs to sort HIMSELF out before fixing his marriage. He should seek one on one counselling to help him cope with the loss of the OW. HE has to decide what he really wants and not keep TWO women in his life. That is just selfish and cruel. If he is still in contact with her I think its more than feelings of lust. Lets think about it , if HE wanted it to work why stay in contact with the OW. If the W wants it to work why not say lets get MC. IMO neither want it to work out.
reneet Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 Easy as that. Kids adjust in time. Why keep them in an unhappy situation? Mom & Dad have no relationship anymore. Way to go BS's. Stay stuck in limbo why don't ya.
whichwayisup Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 Easy as that. Kids adjust in time. Why keep them in an unhappy situation? Mom & Dad have no relationship anymore. Way to go BS's. Stay stuck in limbo why don't ya. I'm not even gonna bother commenting on this, there's no point. I could say the same thing about OW, but I am not going to because most of the OW who post on LS are trying their hardest to get out of an affair and better themselves, and not bitter, rude and not helpful at all...... Most are giving and helping others here, not putting down BS's.
Chapter2 Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 I do not mean to threadjack, but 2sunny, would you mind sharing more about what you went through and why it ended? So many people stay and stay and stay and stay irregardless of the number of infidelities and state "I'll try again but if you do this one more time I'm gone".... Would you share what you went through? In answer to you original question... is he still in contact with her? The obvious answer is YES... As a betrayed spouse, if he is going to these lengths to protect her - without any remorse for his actions, then yes! He is ONLY sorry he got caught - and will do it over and over... he will just try to be more careful now! He is making NO effort to make your marriage better for you. He is making no effort to fix your hurt feelings! That is very hurtful in itself when this man is supposed to love YOU more than anyone else on the face of the earth! HE has betrayed YOU! I would leave if I were you - oh ya, I have been you.... I speak from experience...
reneet Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 I'm not even gonna bother commenting on this, there's no point. I could say the same thing about OW, but I am not going to because most of the OW who post on LS are trying their hardest to get out of an affair and better themselves, and not bitter, rude and not helpful at all...... Most are giving and helping others here, not putting down BS's. You're entitled to an opinion.
reneet Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 You'd be such a big help to other bw's on about.com/divorcesupport
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