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Posted

This is the second time a "supposedly" friend of mine lets me down at the very last minute within a few days.

 

The first time, he texted me a couple of hours before we were meant to meet to tell me he was too tired to have me around at his. Fair enough.... I phoned him later on that evening, we had a chat and re arranged something for the following week.

The second time around, he texted me 1 hour before we were meant to meet to say that he was "not able to make it, something's come up".

I texted him back saying "OK. Hope it's nothing serious. Cu soon". Mind you, I had already driven out of the city to avoid traffic and stuff, so did all that for nothing!

 

No text back from him, no attempt to arrange another meeting, nothing....

 

He is a friend I have in common with my ex who dumped me. He has always been closer to her than to me, but we have always got on well together. He is not seeing her, I know that for a fact....

 

I just find this a bit unfair.... I don't want to meet him to talk about my ex, I just want to meet him to have a chat, have a laugh and have a drink and bite something to eat. That's all...

 

What do you think? Why is he acting like that?

Posted

Either he's just not very reliable, or he's not overly interested in keeping the friendship going.

 

Has he been like this in the past, or has he been more reliable?

 

It's certainly not treating you with respect to let you down at the last minute, and to do so when you've already left home, is just rude. :mad:

 

I'd seriously consider if you really want this guys friendship?

Posted
Why is he acting like that?

 

Ask him. Do not assume he does not want to see you.

Tell him you are concerned, ask him if he is doing okay.

 

I don't want to meet him to talk about my ex, I just want to meet him to have a chat, have a laugh and have a drink and bite something to eat.

 

Let him know this.

In case he is wondering whether you were just trying to get along well with him because he is close to your ex, he'll know you do actually care about him as a friend regardless of her.

  • Author
Posted

Well, he had said at the time he did not want to side for her or for me.

However, I know they were out together last weekend. I tried to meet with him twice since then, and you know the rest.

 

Did she tell him something? I gave my ex a lot of verbal abuse last weekend because I had found out she had been cheating on me for two months.

 

Is he on her side now?

 

Well, he has not been in touch since then. He does not seem to be bothered! Why should I make all the calls?

Posted

your friendship is over sad to say but dont let it get to you. theres loads of people out there that will be beter friends to you. i have just fell out with a friend of mine. we have tryed to make it work but it didnt work so we have call it a day. i think you should call it a day to and find a new friend.

  • Author
Posted

Thank you for your replies.

 

I would be willing to tell him the things you suggested me to do, but I do not want to appear as needy. What if his attitude is the same afterwards?

Posted

Hi,

 

I had found out she had been cheating on me for two months.

 

Well, the common friend is avoiding you. Because it's a mess.

 

And I think part of your interest is to get some info on your now ex from him (I know I would talk about the ex, in that situation).

 

Even though the drinks and bites to eat sound fun too...

 

He doesn't want to be friends now it seems to me, sorry,

 

Ariadne

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