lovelifelust Posted October 6, 2006 Posted October 6, 2006 ok here goes ... i am a single mum and have been alone " not lonely" for over 2 yrs ..the last relationship i had ended dramatically, with me going to hospital and losing my children and alot of my possessions .. nobody's fault just circumstances ... i was forced to leave the children with their dad and lost alot of possessions when my house was cleaned out .. the man i was with was interstate and i was willing to move with kids to him, when i became ill .. we have never spoken again or seen each other ... now i have my children back with me and all is well ... I started going out with a guy .. not your average jo ... which to me is appealing anyhow .. he is strong ,intelligent , attractive to me .. and well its been about 2 months now and i am feeling like i should feel more ... i like him and like alot about him .. we have good conversations .. nice time together and the kids like him as his like me ... Now i am unsure , as if at a crossroad ... should i feel love or am i unable to through past experience and pain ...should i know or does love grow ... This is very heavy for me as i feel i should be feeling more then just really liking him and i am thinking about breaking it off with him as i dont want to hurt him ... what do i do ... just some outside opinions may just help me ... but then i am unsure of that as well... any opinions will be appreciated and taken as just opinions as i am at a loss and dont want to hurt a nice guy with a good soul ... he does live about 2 hours away which makes it hard and also said he loves me ...
Cheshire Cat Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 Take your time. You are not playing him, you are just unsure whether you can love him. I personally think that love can grow, and two months is not a long time. If you are worried about hurting him, you can explain to him how you feel (you like him a lot but do not feel "love" yet) and leave the decision to him.
Author lovelifelust Posted October 7, 2006 Author Posted October 7, 2006 my only wish now is that i had found this sight before hand ... i pushed him away and drove the distance today, asked him to forgive me... he said he opened his heart to me more than any woman and was shattered as i dumped him 3 day's ago ...... he cannot find forgiveness ... that was a very long drive home .. i have since written a poem and only hope he doesnt stand by his decision ... i wont move on for a while ... but i also wont leave the door open for ever either ...more than 3 days though ...
Guest Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 It sounnd like you have been through a lot. Maybe some of it is unresolved. In your case I would deal with the past before I begin bringing men around my children. In the mean time it's ok to have friends. Just relax, you don't have to put pressure on yourself to feel a certain way or define the relationship so quickly. Don't let his words or actions pressure you either. Get to know him on your terms. Just because someone says he loves you doesn't necessarily mean you have to love him back. Peace ok here goes ... i am a single mum and have been alone " not lonely" for over 2 yrs ..the last relationship i had ended dramatically, with me going to hospital and losing my children and alot of my possessions .. nobody's fault just circumstances ... i was forced to leave the children with their dad and lost alot of possessions when my house was cleaned out .. the man i was with was interstate and i was willing to move with kids to him, when i became ill .. we have never spoken again or seen each other ... now i have my children back with me and all is well ... I started going out with a guy .. not your average jo ... which to me is appealing anyhow .. he is strong ,intelligent , attractive to me .. and well its been about 2 months now and i am feeling like i should feel more ... i like him and like alot about him .. we have good conversations .. nice time together and the kids like him as his like me ... Now i am unsure , as if at a crossroad ... should i feel love or am i unable to through past experience and pain ...should i know or does love grow ... This is very heavy for me as i feel i should be feeling more then just really liking him and i am thinking about breaking it off with him as i dont want to hurt him ... what do i do ... just some outside opinions may just help me ... but then i am unsure of that as well... any opinions will be appreciated and taken as just opinions as i am at a loss and dont want to hurt a nice guy with a good soul ... he does live about 2 hours away which makes it hard and also said he loves me ...
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