Raztat Posted October 6, 2006 Posted October 6, 2006 Hey this is my first post and I must say Ive read alot of useful info on here that has helped me in the past few months. Thanks for all the help. My girlfriend had recently broke up with me, but Im not to sure why maybe some one here can help. She said Can we just be friends? I feel that you are a really good friend and I love your company and being around you. I think we are better as friends. You didnt disappoin I love being around you and everything and youve been really good and sweet to me. I liked you too I really did and still do but I think you are a good friend and im really sorry that I hurt you. I truely am. I never had any intentions to hurt you. I just dont really think we'd work out as a couple. Sorry I cant explain it all that great, I was really afraid that it would mess up our friendship. I just think of you as a really good friend one that I could talk to about anything and I hope your alright, I dont want to loose you as a friend. You dont have to forgive me now but I would like for you to soon because Im really sorry for hurting you. I know everything was good last night I had a really nice time as I always do with you. I'd still like to hang out and everything I still wanna be good friends. This was a summary of the text she had sent me. I then asked her if she was happy with me and she said: Yeah I was most happy with you but I just see us better as friends right now Ill see you saturday at work. Later one of her friends told me the reason she broke up with me was because she didnt get a "buzz" when we made out. It really doesnt make sence to me as to why she would leave me but she tells me that she was very happy and had alot of fun. Any help at all will be appreciated. Thanks. I just feel so lost and confused right now.
Amour77 Posted October 6, 2006 Posted October 6, 2006 No other guy in the background ready to replace you?
Author Raztat Posted October 6, 2006 Author Posted October 6, 2006 No there hasnt been no other guy. I just dont know whats going on. Every one that I have askes were surprised she broke up with me and they said that she was so happy when she was with me. Even her friends told me this.
Author Raztat Posted October 8, 2006 Author Posted October 8, 2006 Any one have any Ideals? I still dont really know whats going on.
alphamale Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 youve been really good and sweet to me.. next time around try not to be so "good" and "sweet".
WindDrifter Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 Mate I have had my g/f say a similar thing regarding our kissing that we don't kiss the same way then a couple weeks later she takes it all back and says now we are compatible. I don't know I think its just an attraction thing. I guess sometimes they want to feel swept off their feet like they live in some fantasy. How long were you doing out for? I am starting to think this is a younger girl thing. Once they get older they don't expect you to be Mr Universe every night.
burning 4 revenge Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 Her friend said she no longer gets a buzz when you make out. Replace buzz with tingle.
Author Raztat Posted October 8, 2006 Author Posted October 8, 2006 Thanks for the input, we been going out for around a month, I talked to her yesterday and we still are really good friends, so its not all at a lose. I feel closer to her then I have ever had before. So maybe in the future some time it will happen again.
Rooster_DAR Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 Thanks for the input, we been going out for around a month, I talked to her yesterday and we still are really good friends, so its not all at a lose. I feel closer to her then I have ever had before. So maybe in the future some time it will happen again. I would not count on it. Once you here the "friends" word it over. Alpha Male had a good point, being to nice and sweet will land you in friendship zone everytime. I'm sure there are some women out there that would love someone that is nice and sweet, but many times we find out later that is not what they really want. Go to the LS search link and type in the keywords "wants to be friends" and you'll see what I mean. It's a world of utter confusion trying to understand what women say and what they are really asking for. Regards,
LaughMachine Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 Sorry man but She doesn't share the same feelings that you have for her. She sees you only as a friend and nothing else .
Author Raztat Posted October 8, 2006 Author Posted October 8, 2006 Thanks for the help, its fine with me, I love being her friend, im just glad when we broke up it didnt end our friendship, thats what I was really worried about. She is one of my best friends now and I come to the fact that its probally going to be that way for ever and I dont mind it. Its good to have people that you can trust.
alphamale Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 She is one of my best friends now and I come to the fact that its probally going to be that way for ever and I dont mind it. Its good to have people that you can trust. only "nice guys" stay friends with their former lover. stop being a nice guy, girls don't like it.
tekratel Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 Are you happy being her friend? I mean just her friend and nothing more and when she starts seeing someone else how would you feel? I ask this because as the other folks have said in this post about 'nice guys' you'll be their friend and that's it. That doesn't mean you need to be a bast*** but if you want to relight any fire then my advice is take a step back. It's hard, really hard and I've done both and I know which works better. Don't be her friend - no matter how difficult it is. Talk in passing but not in conversation; don't mention your relationship with her at all; add an element of mystery about yourself, for instance you might say "Can't talk, I'm off out", ideally then get out of the situation where she can question you any further; if she does ask "where to", then don't tell her, keep it quiet; throw small tidbits of information into conversations with her friends that will get back to her but don't be blatant, be really coy. Ideally, get a date don't again don't make it blatant that you're doing it to make her jealous, phrases such as "We're going out on Saturday" can start the mind working and putting two and two together. Believe me, at this stage in a relationship this sort of thing can work to get the buzz back; but you need to be able to carry it through and be cool with her. There's no guarantee it can work but it might be worth a try. Hope it helps.
KittenMoon Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 Raz- You're only 19 and you guys only went out a month. Chances are, this will blow over for you pretty quick. That's the great thing about brief dating situations when you're young. Even better is that it's a lot easier to transition into "friends". I mean, cmon, didn't you ever know those couple in high school/college who were friends one minute, dating the next, then back to friends because it didn't quite turn out how they thought it would? If you think you can just be friends without it hurting too much, give it a try. Let yourself hurt... but not for too long. I'm sure if you're in college you can find a few other girls to distract yourself with.
Author Raztat Posted October 9, 2006 Author Posted October 9, 2006 Thanks, Im so glad I found these forums. Im not going to just ignore her, I work with her on week ends and I enjoy talking to her and to find out whats going on with her family. Her brother is a really good friend of mine. Im sure Ill find some one else. But the problem is, is that Im very shy and dont talk alot. I usually cant keep a good conversation going, I do need help in that field, if some of you want to help ;D It probally will hurt to see some one else kiss her or what ever but ill deal with it and find some one else.
Spurned Posted October 9, 2006 Posted October 9, 2006 Thanks, Im so glad I found these forums. Im not going to just ignore her, I work with her on week ends and I enjoy talking to her and to find out whats going on with her family. Her brother is a really good friend of mine. Im sure Ill find some one else. But the problem is, is that Im very shy and dont talk alot. I usually cant keep a good conversation going, I do need help in that field, if some of you want to help ;D It probally will hurt to see some one else kiss her or what ever but ill deal with it and find some one else. But ignoring her is exactly what you should do!!!
Author Raztat Posted October 9, 2006 Author Posted October 9, 2006 I cant do that, were to good of friends for me to all of a sudden ignore her. I wouldnt be able to, Ive got to talk to her when Im at work with her.
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