Do I really want to call it quits?

[bob2les]

Last Feb I saw an old flame for the first time in 15 years. We were to be married but I was was just divorced for a year and she said that I wasn't ready to take that step yet. She was right. We went our separate ways and eventually I got married a couple of years later. Lost contact with her till she made a delivery where I work. She had become a truck driver traveling nationwide. We started to text each other everyday since then. She never said anything romantic in those texts, only about her travels and obsticules she encountered. But me, I felt my life reenergized. All I wanted to do was text her. My present marriage was never all that great and I wasn't even sure I was in love when I got married. I was lonely and didn't want to be alone. At the time anything was better then lonelyness. Been married 10 years now. Never cheated nor even tempted to stray. Till now. This old flame just brought me back to life. But I think its all for not. I have told her that I love her. I my heart I feel I do. All she says is 'Thank You', but never returns it. Just continues to tell me her adventures. A couple of months ago she told me she was a trainer. She would take new drivers on the road for 3 weeks and train them as company drivers. This means 24/7 living in a truck with a man or woman as a codriver. That was to much for me. My present wife and I just had a $350,000 house on 3 acres built but it means nothing to me. I would give it all up for my old flame. I know it sounds crazy and I know its wrong to think about some one else in a marriage. Its been years that I have told my wife I loved her. I don't think I do. Marriage of convinience as they call it. Frindship yes, but actual love, no. Well, 3 weeks ago I told the old flame I couldn't take her training other drivers anymore and had quit texting her. She said that it was her job and nothing ever happened between her and her students. She said that she cared for me but that was a problem that I had to figure out for myself. She said that she didn't want to start anything with a married man but to email her on how I was getting along because she cared. Thats been 3 weeks now and I haven't communicated with her in any way. Its really painful and am constantly looking at my phone hoping for a text message. My wife knows somethings wrong and even told me once that if I wanted someone else go for it. But I would lose everything. If the old flame ever tell me that she loves me and wanted me I would just walk away and not look back. Now what?

[Guest]

You seem kinda jerky... I feel bad for your wife. Maybe people nowadays wouldn't have so many problems if they took their marriage vows seriously. You say you weren't sure you wanted to get married? WEll, you shouldn't have then, but you did. Deal with it and try to make it happy. She was good enough to get married to, then there has to be something special about her. As far as this truck drivin' woman... shame on her. She knows you are married and shouldn't even talk to you anymore. She's just as immoral behaving as you are.