Mystic Gohan Posted October 5, 2006 Posted October 5, 2006 New to the forum so first of all everyone, hey hows it doin? Anyway down to the nitty gritty, i have girl problems . We are only friends and she knows i like her, but...oh well here is a list: 1. This girl i have been pursueing has been giving signals that she is interested eg: flirting, getting jelous when i dance with other girls, dry humps my legs (sometimes) when dancing, plays with her hair (alot), things like that. 2. I asked her what she thought about me and she said she was not sure and just wants to be friends, then she mentioned she had a bad break up with her last B/F. I think she is interested but is worried cause of her previous relationship, should i hang in there or give up? What should i do not to make her like me but show her that i am nothing like her last B/F?
Foreva86 Posted October 5, 2006 Posted October 5, 2006 You can't make someone like you so I think you should just go with the flow. Leave things the way they are for the moment. Don't push anything with her. It seems like she might be afraid to commit so that's why she's hesitating. If she really does like you I'm sure she'll make other advances. You already did your bit
Author Mystic Gohan Posted October 6, 2006 Author Posted October 6, 2006 thnks that made alot of sense, not even my friends can tell me exactly what i should do.
pricillia Posted October 6, 2006 Posted October 6, 2006 It she had a bad break up chances are that she is hesitant because of the pain that she endured. If you are noticing signs that she gets jealous but then again she states that she only wants to be friends then she proably needs more time to heal. Be just that be her friend talk to her listen to her joke around with her let her know that you are someone that can be trusted, but be genuine as well. Good Luck!
Author Mystic Gohan Posted October 6, 2006 Author Posted October 6, 2006 thnx, i thought that she may need time to get over her x, but that was like 8 mnths ago, but i am still going to act the same around her things just may be difficult, like last night we went out the the club she went with a seperate group of friends but i caught her looking at me a fair bit and i think it was to see what i was doing, i was dancing with girls who are also my friends and i think she was jelous again, she would go out of her way to walk past me even though she was across the room and bump me or something, she knows i like her but she said she only likes me as a friend, so why does she keep flirting all the time, i cant help but think she is playing me.
Slickkk Posted October 6, 2006 Posted October 6, 2006 Woah...wait a minute, I have some news for you, breaking news: DUDE, the chances of you getting with this girl, are almost zero. Sorry, if that is a bit too much to the point and harsh but it is the truth. let me break it down for you... 1. 'she knows i like her' - HOW does she know this? if you told her, then that is a very big mistake. If you are making this apparent, by constantly staring at her, looking out for her and caring...then it is still a very big mistake. She is now in control. You are not a challenge to her, basically you have invited her to walk all over you. 2. The very fact she is your friend, does not at all help your case. When girls put you into their friends category, it is difficult to prove otherwise. The first impression you make on a girl lets her decide what type of material you are. If you are friends, and have friendlike conversations - then you are doomed. 3. Some girls are real players, and show interest to guys who they have no real interest in. Trust me, I should know. If she believes she has won you over, showing signs like those does not mean she is interested in a relationship. 4. 'Just want to be friends' is what girls say when they do not want to hurt your feelings, have no attraction and see you as someone they can relate to, but in a friendship kind of way. Ok, I was joking. This situation is not completely dead, but is heading that way. I wanted you to get a sense of reality. Tease her in a funny type of way. Flirt with her, but DO NOT give her the attention she seeks. In fact, show her disinterest and start flirting with other girls. DO NOT be friends with her. Seriously, if she is telling you about her personal emotional stories and vice versa, then she is no longer worth pursuing. Only you know this. Be a challenge, and once she starts responding properly...you can move on.
Author Mystic Gohan Posted October 6, 2006 Author Posted October 6, 2006 thnx for the honesty that is what i want, honesty is the best policy after all, so dont worry bout it. i have already done that by dancing with other girls and she just gets jelous, which to me says she isnt in control anymore and she dont like it.
pricillia Posted October 6, 2006 Posted October 6, 2006 Woah...wait a minute, I have some news for you, breaking news: DUDE, the chances of you getting with this girl, are almost zero. Sorry, if that is a bit too much to the point and harsh but it is the truth. let me break it down for you... 1. 'she knows i like her' - HOW does she know this? if you told her, then that is a very big mistake. If you are making this apparent, by constantly staring at her, looking out for her and caring...then it is still a very big mistake. She is now in control. You are not a challenge to her, basically you have invited her to walk all over you. 2. The very fact she is your friend, does not at all help your case. When girls put you into their friends category, it is difficult to prove otherwise. The first impression you make on a girl lets her decide what type of material you are. If you are friends, and have friendlike conversations - then you are doomed. 3. Some girls are real players, and show interest to guys who they have no real interest in. Trust me, I should know. If she believes she has won you over, showing signs like those does not mean she is interested in a relationship. 4. 'Just want to be friends' is what girls say when they do not want to hurt your feelings, have no attraction and see you as someone they can relate to, but in a friendship kind of way. Ok, I was joking. This situation is not completely dead, but is heading that way. I wanted you to get a sense of reality. Tease her in a funny type of way. Flirt with her, but DO NOT give her the attention she seeks. In fact, show her disinterest and start flirting with other girls. DO NOT be friends with her. Seriously, if she is telling you about her personal emotional stories and vice versa, then she is no longer worth pursuing. Only you know this. Be a challenge, and once she starts responding properly...you can move on. Some of this has some value, however a woman can usually tell when a man likes her without him coming out and saying it. also, There are women out there that know how a man feels about them and don't take the opportunity to use and abuse.
Slickkk Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 Some of this has some value, however a woman can usually tell when a man likes her without him coming out and saying it. also, There are women out there that know how a man feels about them and don't take the opportunity to use and abuse. Yes...a women can normally tell when a man likes her, because they can read body language ten times better than us - what he needs to do is show disinterest and act like he does not like her...what does this involve? Not staring at her, being the first one to break conversations, leaning back whilst talking, not listening but being that one does most of the talking....basically, do what you would do if she was some girl that you would never date in a million years tease her (tell her shes messing up her chances of being with you), make her laugh - she will begin to wonder why you are not 'all over her', and then if she shows interest it means there is some attraction there At the moment it seems like you are being Played, Gohan...with a capital P.
Guest Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 so basically you are saying flirt like crazy with her but at the same time let her know i am not going to wait forever? Is that what you are saying?
Author Mystic Gohan Posted October 7, 2006 Author Posted October 7, 2006 so basically you are saying flirt with her like crazy but let her know that i am not going to wait forever? Is that what you mean SLICK?
Slickkk Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 so basically you are saying flirt with her like crazy but let her know that i am not going to wait forever? Is that what you mean SLICK? First of all...get out of this 'nice guy' attitude...are you like that??? thats the impression I get They always come last - I used to be one - 'BE A MAN, BE A CHALLENGE' Follow these steps, and you might be able to recover this one: 1. Actively show disinterest in her (body language and all that such as mentioned above, convince her you are not after her...and that you DO NOT like her) 2. Tease her and be funny - be a challenge, do not compliment her yet...if she touches you, say you will get her done for sexual harassment (this is the type of flirting women like)...if she keeps staring at you like you say, ask her if she wants a picture of you and say that you charge £100...and thats at half price too - basically, do this while you are not showing active interest and are occupied with other tasks...do not give her your full attention - be confident, be funny and cocky 3. She may begin to wonder if you like her or not...thats where you want her - if she begins starting conversations with you, or really asks for your approval (am I annoying? etc. if she does say that, say something funny like no...but your getting there) gives you compliments, touches and laughs at your jokes (even the ones that arent funny)...two or more of these signs, you can move one step forward 4. Now you can get to know her better, since you have created the attraction...if she deserves it, compliment her but NEVER on her looks...dont commit yourself to her at any point You want to be confident, and NOT NEEDY...basically, do what I said, and let me know how it goes
Author Mystic Gohan Posted October 7, 2006 Author Posted October 7, 2006 i use to be the kind og guy who went out every weekend and met with a different girl al the time since i was 14 till about 18, then i changed when i moved towns into the nice guy, as for the advice i will give it a go tonight and see what happens knowing my luck i will catch a slap to the forehead, lol, i think my plan tonight is to do what you said, i already had a similar plan in mind but i will try something out of the blue. i will let you know how it went, if you dont hear from me it means she has beaten me into a coma or someting.
Cheshire Cat Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 I have little patience with people who just want to be friends with you but keep flirting with you and displaying signs of interest when they know very well that you are interested in them. I am also for honesty, so I'd call her on her behaviour next time she is blatantly teasing you. And try to treat her exactly like any other female friend (no special treatment or extra-caring behaviour) until she changes her mind - or you get over her.
Walk Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 I don't know when you told her you liked her. If it was a while ago, or just hte other day? Anyway, is there a possibility that since you told her your feelings that maybe hers have changed for you. I've found that sometimes a person has a knee jerk reaction when you tell them you like them... Especially if they've been hurt recently by someone. They've been thinking of you as a friend for a while now. Sometimes people are unwilling to admit even to themselves how they feel... and it takes a catalyst to get them to re-examine their true feelings. Not enough coffee to think clearly yet.. ugh. All I'm saying is.. if you told her how you felt, and since that time she's developed stronger then friends feelings for you, she may not be comfortable expressing verbally to you that she does like you the same now... Then again she may be one of those incredibly cruel woman who want the ego boost by keeping you around as a friend. As though saying "we're just friends" magically takes away all her reponsibility for damaging your feelings when she flirts with you and leads you on... But I would hope you can pick better friends than that. Potentially she's a wonderful girl who wasn't aware of how much she did like you until you stated that you liked her. Maybe she's too embaressed to say anything now. Maybe she doesn't know how to show you so you will really know how she feels, maybe she doesnt' quite know how to change the way your relationship is now into a more intimate bf/gf relationship? Maybe she's really confused because she does like you, but her fear of getting hurt again is getting in her way of acting on what she wants? You'd have to evaluate what kind of person she seems to be underneath the exterior. Kind hearted good person who may be confused and need time... or girl who is use to playing with guys hearts, and wants the ego boost. Personally if I were you I'd change the dynamics of interaction. If you always go to a club, then take her out for coffee instead. If you broke her out of the routine for an evening, then potentially she can respond in a new way to you. If she's still adamant you're just friends, then let her go and put her in the "friends zone" in your head again. This is assuming your "flirt like hell" attempt last night didn't work, and you didn't end up in a coma.
Slickkk Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 Ok, cool...with what I mentioned above you are in a situation where you cannot lose If she is playing with you, you were not interested in her in the first place were you? And if she already is, then she will respond to what you do But better, she may not have been interested in you and may actually do so now because of how you dealt with her Good luck
Green Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 Youv'e chosen the name Mystic Gohan one of the most powerfull beings in the universe but he's also a nice guy. Look the trick to getting this girl is going to be not getting to seriouse about her or around her in this early stage in the relationship just take a go with the flow attitude you know the Gohan way, he never thought much about what to do with girls they just came after him. Just flirt with as many girls as possible keep conversations and the stuff you say on the playfull side and before you know it you'll have a girl you can be seriouse with. You probably did get a little to seriouse with this girl you possibly would have had a better chance if you just had asked her to come home with you or planted a kiss instead of letting her know you liked her. She may be a lost cause, she still may be ready to go all I'm saying is in this case you need to be casting a few more lines out and not setting any hooks.
Author Mystic Gohan Posted October 9, 2006 Author Posted October 9, 2006 Youv'e chosen the name Mystic Gohan one of the most powerfull beings in the universe but he's also a nice guy. Look the trick to getting this girl is going to be not getting to seriouse about her or around her in this early stage in the relationship just take a go with the flow attitude you know the Gohan way, he never thought much about what to do with girls they just came after him. Just flirt with as many girls as possible keep conversations and the stuff you say on the playfull side and before you know it you'll have a girl you can be seriouse with. You probably did get a little to seriouse with this girl you possibly would have had a better chance if you just had asked her to come home with you or planted a kiss instead of letting her know you liked her. She may be a lost cause, she still may be ready to go all I'm saying is in this case you need to be casting a few more lines out and not setting any hooks. Man i love gohan as a character because i can relate to him in alot of ways except for being able to destroy the universe with my fingers, lol. i know what you are saying and i already have 4 other girls after me but i only like this 1, there is something about her i just cant shake. Also we wetn out on friday night she went with 1 group of friends from work while i went with another anyway i said hi to he once when she fist came in and then didnt really see her the rest of the night but no she apparently hates me cause i snobbed her, i didnt snob her i just had to much fun weith my friends, she could have come over anytime and sad hi. what is the go?
Author Mystic Gohan Posted October 10, 2006 Author Posted October 10, 2006 cmon guys i really need help.
Green Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 Your not living up to the gohan name or style, Gohan went mystic while he was dating Mr. Satans Daughter heck I think she got killed and he still didnt really give a damn he just went and tried to save the world. Look stop caring about her so much your putting the cart b4 the horse in your mind you need to mentaly stop your self from caring about a girl or investing of the thought of getting her intill you are getting her. Just go out be cool flirt with all these other girls who must be all over the place and pretty soon you'll have a whole new batch to pick from remember a watched pot doesnt boil, stay a chalenge let her come for you and if you get that opening take it just dont let on to her...
Author Mystic Gohan Posted October 11, 2006 Author Posted October 11, 2006 my mum said the exact boiling pot quote to me yesterday, anyway you are saying i should flirt around with some new girls then i would have more to pick from, also are you saying to see what she does while i am doin this, some of your response was confusing. what do you mean "dont let onto her"...?
Green Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 I'm saying go after other girls forget about her check back in a a week or 2 she liked you before you started showing your feelings right go back to ur mystic gohan ways and u'll get her
Author Mystic Gohan Posted October 12, 2006 Author Posted October 12, 2006 i am going back to my mystic ways last week i acted around her like i did before i told her about my feelings, and i actually also showed a little more dis-interest and she was checking me all night so might do the same this weekend.
Green Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 remember its like fishing you cant pull on the rod till the fish has it mouth on the bait and is chewing it a little, then you give a pull this sets the hook into the fish's mouth after the hook is set you can start reeling it in but if you reel it in to hard you could end up pulling the hook right out of the fish's mouth... its an anology hopefuly it did it for u
Recommended Posts