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Posted

So I was chatting to my online LDR (a pretty new thing) today and as we are saying good-bye and miss you and such he types "need you". At first I am not sure what to think about it. It took me a few hours to digest. Maybe I had read it wrong or it was some weird miscommunication (he's German and I am American - living in Germany though - just a different city from him) or I don't know. I went back later and re-read that part of the conversation (as skype automatically saves) and sure enough there it was, right after his "miss you" .

 

This sent me into a panic attack and I am not sure why. I think I have bad associations with the word "need". To me "need" refers to a lack or deficit of something and I don't think this guy has that.

 

So, am I over reacting to say this freaks me out? I have been thinking that maybe it has something to do with issues I have surrounding intimacy and commitment but I don't know ... is this a red flag??? I totally dig this guy; he's wonderful and enriches my life in many good ways but I don't think I need him, per se. I enjoy immensly what we have together and I would be quite sad if we didn't have that but.. yikes !! I don't know .. perhaps I should just ask him tomorrow what he meant by that but I am not sure how to approach it without sounding like I am freaking out about it.

Posted

I don't know german, but in some european languages (like italian) you can use the same word to say "miss" and "need".

 

It sounds like a mistake to me. Languages can be tricky and lead to quite a lot of misunderstandings.

Also, some words/idioms/verbs are somewhat stronger in a languages and less strong in another.

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