Josalina Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 ex text asked how i am, what do i say i have been in hosp? do i make out i am fine instead?
Ruff Ryder Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 Please give mew a little back round quick quick. Remember dont respond right now it will look desprate. Tell me what you want and why it went wrong.
Author Josalina Posted October 4, 2006 Author Posted October 4, 2006 his 22 im 19, he asked how i was and how my back is. i haven't text back yet gonna make him wait.
Author Josalina Posted October 4, 2006 Author Posted October 4, 2006 he woke up one day lost and confussed. he didn't know what he wanted so i was forced to end it, although i do still miss the old him.
Author Josalina Posted October 4, 2006 Author Posted October 4, 2006 i am the girl who didn't know whether or not to send a bday card to the ex on complications to best win someones post. i dunno whether to text back tonight or what?
Ruff Ryder Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 Do not text him back for the next little while yet ok..... Then when you do use the angle of you were very very busy and only had time to send a msg now. Let him know that your very well. Dont come across desprate at all. You dont wanna play games with him but you need to make a point that your time is valuable and your not wasting any of it on a person that is not worth of it. Also be caring but not giving away the fact that you may not have forgiven his previous behavour. Be cool calm and natural. If he is 22 then he is still into the party's and having fun. So play it like you dont really care to much what he says back. Be indiffrence and just live life the best way you can ok? Ask quesion here these people on LS are gr8 and will help.
Author Josalina Posted October 4, 2006 Author Posted October 4, 2006 so i still say i am fine even if i haven't been so i don't sound negative right? should i wait a lomg time? thanks 4 replying so quick. i am so shaky lol
Ruff Ryder Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 First off I know that its a crazy situation, go to your kitchen poor a glass of cold water put 3 tea spoons of suger in it and drink it down as fast as you can, that will help with the shacks. Second thing if you dont sound negitive you come across as strong. Above that is you will become possitive by starting to think and act that way. 3rd thing : i would keep him waiting (anticipation) for the next few hours. 4th thing tell me that you gonna say in this message and as a boy I may help you get it right. 5th thing is its a pleasure for replying.
Author Josalina Posted October 4, 2006 Author Posted October 4, 2006 ok drunk funny drink lol thanks. was thinking of putting: hey, i am doing good, thanks for asking at the gym a lot, getting stronger and progressing. hope is all well with u? i say gym as i am recovering from an injury and it sounds positive i am doing something, getting stronger meaning muscles but he can take as he likes and progressing as in getting better?
Ruff Ryder Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 Not too bad however if it was sent to me I would look at that as a "Look at me doing just fine" type of cocky answer. I know its not ment like that but it would be my fisrt impression. Try something like " Hey you, Im all good thanks. I hope your well. been in gym alot recovering looking very good if I do say so myself "lol". Hows things with you?" The reason I would do that is it sparks a level of Im well and carring on. The "looking good" part will make his mind wounder on how good and he may want to see you again its alos a bit flirtatious in a suttle way. The end will give him a reason to respond to your msg. Now you tell e what you think of that.????
swirly27 Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 Hey Ruff and Josa, She asked me the same question earlier and I responded with almost the same answer....except I told her NOT to ask him how he's doing. Its been in my opinion that most of the time, exes check in with us to see if we are still 'there' for them or accessible. I told her to say "Hey, doing good and getting better each day, thanks for asking, hope all is well with you". This way she is being nice AND positive and yet not engaging more from him because he may not want to conversate more.....and IF he does, he will respond more back anyway. I have had exes contact me again and most of the time its cause their ego needs stroked or they are checking to see if I am still accessible so if you are nice but positive and acting as though you are happy go lucky and continuing FINE without them, then that is both positive for us AND maybe gets them thinking.....but if she engages to hope him to conversate more back with her, he may think she is 'needing' a response. What do you think of that Ruff?
Ruff Ryder Posted October 5, 2006 Posted October 5, 2006 Very nice thinking..... Buy if you read what I thought would be a good response I never asked the question "how are you" I rather made and asumption saying "hope things are well." The end is a "how are things going" meaning how is everything in life? Refering to work and if he is coping. its a suttle way of saying Im not really to intreasted if you are well and fit and that your life is going well its more of a straight foward way of saying Im well and getting on with it. I dont know just a boys oppion. Make sense to me.
D-Lish Posted October 5, 2006 Posted October 5, 2006 I'd wait a full 24 hours for the response... Why? You want to prolong his anticipation of a response...make him wonder why you are not responding right away...have him wake up tomorrow and start thinking... Hmmm, wonder why she didn't respond??? That will turn into- doesn't she care anymore?? That will lead to you moving into the driver's seat. DO respond- just wait it out. Let it go overnight at least. You want to create a longing here...and waiting until tomorrow will do that. Be aloof with your response- but not cold. Be sure to say, you've been busy.... Don't be readily accessible! 4-5 hours isn't long enough to make him wait! D
Ruff Ryder Posted October 5, 2006 Posted October 5, 2006 D-lish marry me..... I love it you just get it so well. Not many people do. Anticipation is what needs to be created it makes it jsut that much more powerful.... Love it.
D-Lish Posted October 5, 2006 Posted October 5, 2006 D-lish marry me..... Why of course! Game playing sucks... but unfortunately, sometimes it's necessary. It's all about putting the control back where it belongs. People want what they can't have, people enjoy a challenge. I never realized how much I loved my boyfriend until he left me. I was thinking of leaving him too- but he did it first. That put him in the driver's seat and it drove me crazy and I wanted him back because he had rejected me! That's how the game works. you reject me = I want you.... I can't have you = I have to have you! NC = drives me nuts!! D "Living in NC hell"
Author Josalina Posted October 5, 2006 Author Posted October 5, 2006 thanks guys. i really appriciate ur help. i will do as instructed. i will leave it till 11am b4 replying. i am a lil nervous though, i feel like a lil girl lol, hope it works. what wud b they best answer he could say to that?
Author Josalina Posted October 5, 2006 Author Posted October 5, 2006 ok he text back and said he was glad my back was coming along, he said he has just been doing the usual and said i'm sure u will b dancing soon won't u? i text back aloff but not cold as dlish said and put "yeah with a bit of luck lol. can't wait." so i havent asked a question this time as swirly said, so if he is still interested he will text back. if he can think of anything else to say lol.
ImmaBeAlright Posted October 5, 2006 Posted October 5, 2006 He sent you a text asking f you are fine. And you are waiting to text back, you gonna wait 24 hrs??? That in itself means that you are not fine and are playing a game with him. Now you gonna send a breezy text saying 'Am cool'. Stop the games and answer if you want to with what sounds right to YOU.
swirly27 Posted October 5, 2006 Posted October 5, 2006 ok he text back and said he was glad my back was coming along, he said he has just been doing the usual and said i'm sure u will b dancing soon won't u? i text back aloff but not cold as dlish said and put "yeah with a bit of luck lol. can't wait." so i havent asked a question this time as swirly said, so if he is still interested he will text back. if he can think of anything else to say lol. Josalina - did you text him back and thats why he texted again? I'm confused lol I gues whats important is how do you feel now? You did good, you were nice and positive and answered him but kept it short. Unfortunately Imma, she has to protect herself and 9 times out of 10, an ex contacts us because of the wrong reasons, so she is answering him and being nice, but she's also getting on with her life living for herself. I agree as I hate games too but like D said, sometimes its a little necessary. Anticipation is what makes people sometimes really think - and if it doesn't work that way, then we also don't let our hopes or expectations get too high, so its a win/win situation.
Author Josalina Posted October 5, 2006 Author Posted October 5, 2006 i just text the first one and thats what he text back saying that, very wierd we text a few times then he said he was running out of credit and he was hoping to get his free texts come through soon and that was the last i heard of him. he was just talking as a friend, nothing more he didn't meantion seeing me or anything, but nevermind. i prob won't hear from him now. i dunno i find it very wierd, he obviously wanted to know how i was, i said i was ok and thats all he really wanted, he asked what i had been up to, how everyone was here etc but that was about it. i am just wondering what to have for dinner before my pilates class tonight, they say not to exercise on a full stomach, but if i don't eat b4 my belly rumbles and i have no energy lol, i don't think it makes any difference though.
Guest Posted October 5, 2006 Posted October 5, 2006 D-lish marry me..... Why of course! Game playing sucks... but unfortunately, sometimes it's necessary. It's all about putting the control back where it belongs. People want what they can't have, people enjoy a challenge. I never realized how much I loved my boyfriend until he left me. I was thinking of leaving him too- but he did it first. That put him in the driver's seat and it drove me crazy and I wanted him back because he had rejected me! That's how the game works. you reject me = I want you.... I can't have you = I have to have you! NC = drives me nuts!! D "Living in NC hell" you reject me = I want you.... I can't have you = I have to have you! NC = drives me nuts!! Dlish ---- She rejected me and yes I want her, but wouldn't she want me to go NC if she is the one who rejected me? So if NC is what she wanted now I give it to her and she can move on and never think about me?
Author Josalina Posted October 5, 2006 Author Posted October 5, 2006 ok ladies and gent i think i have finally come out on top! ha ha! he ran outta cred, or so he claims so his last text was asking me if what i had been up to.... so knowing he couldn't tb i made full use of it, i listed a few cool things i had done, said i was going out more etc it was great, i was still charming, but it will make him think. i made it silently known i was not going to be a doll he can put down and leave where he drops me and i am getting up and going out, hell i'm a puppet with no strings attached! lol. i haven't heard since and don't know if i will again but i am pleased he doesn't think i am staying in waiting, because i'm not i am living for the moment and actually find the whole thing a somewhat joke lol, i don't think i will ever understand u men out there but to one i have proven, although he knows i care i am moving on! p.s i have done the right thing right? lol
D-Lish Posted October 6, 2006 Posted October 6, 2006 Yes J, you've done the right thing. The bottom line is that no amount of begging or pleading can make someone love you. The only way to get them back is to make them miss you. Being aloof and indifferent, busy and unavailable will make them wonder about you. If he's used to you being around all the time, and returning his calls and texts promptly- then when you stop acting like this... it changes the balance of power. He is now going to be feeling rejected... and if he has feelings for you at all, you're on your way to getting him back if you play your cards right. Just be patient. He'll reach out to you again. Don't reach out to him- let him come to you, and make him work for it. D
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