db75 Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 Has anyone had this strange feeling of "what the hell was all that about?" "Where the hell am I?" after a long relationship. My ex and I have been broken up for about 3 months now and it's so bizarre looking back now how much I can't remember about the last couple of years. The first year and half we were together was great. The last 2, while not bad, was just as though the relationship just kinda "existed" and I existed in it. Does that make any sense to anyone? Just lately I feel like I've awakend from a dream and I guess I just feel a bit lost, not because she's gone, but I guess because I'm getting back in touch with me and trying to figure out what's best for me now. Discuss.
Winfield Posted October 5, 2006 Posted October 5, 2006 Of course it takes some time to adjust to singledom after being in a relationship for a considerable period of time...but in doing so, it has good and bad aspects. Bad from the fact that life "as you recently knew it" (ie, sharing a relationship with someone) has finished...but good as you don't know exactly where life's going to take you (hence an element of excitement)! By being in a relationship, both parties must learn to compromise...but, when a relationship ends, have a go at doing the opposite for a little while - be selfish and do what you want to do. Besides, who have you got to answer to but yourself?
LaughMachine Posted October 5, 2006 Posted October 5, 2006 I know exactly what you meen, and whats contributing to the " dream like " feeling is the fact that you know longer have that " wholesome " to realy on and depend on. If you are at all a bit hurt that you are going to feel weird for a little while and thats completely normal. I think you are getting back in touch with your self, your own reality. There for it will take some adjusting for you as well as your emotions, and probaly broken heart. Time goes by so incredibly fast and when you look back on the happiness that went by so quick, you kind of go a bit " crazy ". When all this happend for me about a year ago, I remember there would be some points in my day where I would consume everything in at once and it was like I was in a video tape of my 3 year relationship being fast forward and than to an end it finally came. Heart ache sucks man but it will pass and that feeling you have will pass in time
Josalina Posted October 5, 2006 Posted October 5, 2006 i am with u on that, for the first few days i woke up thinking maybe it was all a dream but however i was still with him, v. strange feeling lol. it is begining to past now after a good month but when u have been with someone for years as i had been with my ex u think it can't b real as u once could never imagine doing it or being without them, i think its normal, well i hope it is lol, it just takes our brain a bit longer to register our feelings in an orderly fashion because after a break up your mind is all over the place.
Author db75 Posted October 6, 2006 Author Posted October 6, 2006 I know exactly what you meen, and whats contributing to the " dream like " feeling is the fact that you know longer have that " wholesome " to realy on and depend on. If you are at all a bit hurt that you are going to feel weird for a little while and thats completely normal. I think you are getting back in touch with your self, your own reality. There for it will take some adjusting for you as well as your emotions, and probaly broken heart. Time goes by so incredibly fast and when you look back on the happiness that went by so quick, you kind of go a bit " crazy ". When all this happend for me about a year ago, I remember there would be some points in my day where I would consume everything in at once and it was like I was in a video tape of my 3 year relationship being fast forward and than to an end it finally came. Heart ache sucks man but it will pass and that feeling you have will pass in time Thanks man. I guess it's all a bit weird too because while I've been through several break-ups over the years, for whatever reason this one just feels different. Not as painful despite how long we were together. Not to say I haven't hurt or cried...trust me, I have. I guess alot of it is I was letting go of her for alot longer than I realized. Just be happier when this adjustment phase passes. I guess I sorta feel like Neo in the Matrix movie when he's first awakend and is trying to process his new reality and the truth of it. Yup, it's kinda like that.
KittenMoon Posted October 6, 2006 Posted October 6, 2006 I looked at all our old photos a couple of days ago on the day that would have been our 7th anniversary. It was like looking into a dream. A good one. And now it feels like it never happened... except for the omnipresent sense of pain. Boo.
Author db75 Posted October 6, 2006 Author Posted October 6, 2006 I looked at all our old photos a couple of days ago on the day that would have been our 7th anniversary. It was like looking into a dream. A good one. And now it feels like it never happened... except for the omnipresent sense of pain. Boo. That's why I never keep photos. I've got enough memories as it is, from every single one of my ex's for that matter.
KittenMoon Posted October 6, 2006 Posted October 6, 2006 Unfortunately, many of my photos are from events I do not want to forget. Six years builds up a lot of memories. So I can't bring myself to toss them in the trash.
cpt101 Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 It sounds a but like the relationship was silently self destructing over the final few months. Thats what was happening to me, and I too describe the final few months as "existing". KNow now to treat that as a warning sign to either prepare or repair
Rooster_DAR Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 I have made several posts implying the same feelings. I wake up in the mornings with no acclamation to where I'm at now (kind of a lost feeling). After a few minutes I seem to regain a sense of well being, but that feeling as short as it is, is just plain wrong. I have all of our digital photo's and movies (lot's of them) sitting above my fireplace and they have been there for months now. I'm not sure what to do with them, they just kind of occupy their own place in the universe now. Perhaps someday I can let go of the whole thing, and send the archives to her mom, I know she wants them cause they have the last 3 years of her grandson growing up on them. Regards, **ck, this sucks.
LaughMachine Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 After experiencing heart break, Your never the same. Your more in touch with life and pain and though It's painful, It can change you gradually in ways. Sometimes even being a year later, I have random dreams about my ex. God there so freaking weird and painful. I can't describe the feeling I get when I have them....But I know It's me trying to resolve things which in reality I can't. It can make ya a little crazy if you know what I meen. Sometimes I day dream alot.........and well I get crazy thoughts of us still being together. damn dreams
LaughMachine Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 I have made several posts implying the same feelings. I wake up in the mornings with no acclamation to where I'm at now (kind of a lost feeling). After a few minutes I seem to regain a sense of well being, but that feeling as short as it is, is just plain wrong. I have all of our digital photo's and movies (lot's of them) sitting above my fireplace and they have been there for months now. I'm not sure what to do with them, they just kind of occupy their own place in the universe now. Perhaps someday I can let go of the whole thing, and send the archives to her mom, I know she wants them cause they have the last 3 years of her grandson growing up on them. Regards, **ck, this sucks. Maybe the best thing for you to do is to LOOK forward rather than looking back at the past. It does help to know that life can have alot in stores for you. But with you I really don't know too much on the backround of your life. I wish sometimes we could erase the parts that rememeber.........
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