hurting1712 Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 Well he left again Sunday......yeah AGAIN.....I dont know if I am more upset that he is gone or that I let him come back. Anyway, I have posted several times since Sunday because this is so hard for me. When his friend called me Monday looking for him and he told me oh yall will be back together soon it kinda dawned on me that everybody sees us as a joke. We have broke up and got back together countless times in the year we were together. ALL of his stuff is still at my house, even his car which is in my name. He hasn't bothered to call or anything to let me know when he is going to come and get his things being that he lives three hours away. He has signed onto Myspace everyday since Sunday and the only reason he ever gets on there is to talk to me....but he hasn't although I know he looks at my profile. This is so hard, I need to be strong but I know as soon as he wants to come back if he does I will let him...or I would have before.....I know I will have to talk to him because of his things...I guess he did that on purpose.....What has helped you guys in being so strong?
amaysngrace Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 My exH used to get tired of married life periodically and decide to leave from time to time. He'd usually leave me broke with two babies (they are 10 and a half months apart in age) and I was an unemployed housewife with no access to the bank account. However...somehow I always managed to scrape together enough money to afford new locks at the local hardware store.
Author hurting1712 Posted October 4, 2006 Author Posted October 4, 2006 LOL yeah he tends to do really good for a while and then when he gets tired of me I guess he won't touch me at all and claims that is just how he is....maybe so but that is no reason to keep leaving and coming back....I mean I share my own part in this...but still I try and try to talk to him and he won't listen he just gets mad and leaves. Trust me I have eyed all of his stuff just wondering how well it would burn......mean I know, and I wouldn't do it but its a thought.
amaysngrace Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 Do it. It's called power. Take it back. It belongs to you and until you reclaim it for yourself, you will be at his mercy. Go to the hardware store. It feels SOOO good.
amaysngrace Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 Oh crap...I just re-read your post. NO, don't burn his stuff. That's a crime. And you don't want to go to jail for him. You can put his stuff neatly on the porch or something and then change the locks. That'll send a nice message.
Author hurting1712 Posted October 4, 2006 Author Posted October 4, 2006 I wouldnt burn his things he just makes me mad enough sometimes to think about it...oh no no I am not that mean LOL.....I just think how rude that is of him to just leave his stuff at my house while he is doing whatever I mean a phone call or something would be nice to just let me know what is going on....I cant sit here forever wondering when I will come home and my house will be gone thru.
amaysngrace Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 II cant sit here forever wondering when I will come home and my house will be gone thru. Which is exactly why you should change the locks on him. He's only doing this over and over again because you're allowing him to. How can you let him treat you so badly and do nothing about it but complain? I don't understand...
Author hurting1712 Posted October 4, 2006 Author Posted October 4, 2006 You know something that just dawned on me...you are right I havent done anything BUT complain....I mean I did live with him for a while when I moved three hours to be with him and I walked out on him a few times when he refused to just talk to me....but in reality all those times when I thought I was making some big stand when we would break up and wouldnt talk to him he probably still knew I would let him come back. Its funny how just a few words can make you realize something that you have been blind to. I guess its because he blames me saying I smother him when I only want some attention sometimes and I feel like nobody would want me so I take him back......Im gullible....
amaysngrace Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 You're not gullible. You just got used to being treated like this. Hey, it happens. And sometimes we forget that we deserve to be treated better than we're being treated. No worries. Many of us have been where you are now. Myself included. I figure it like this. I think it's better to be alone than to be in bad company, because if I'm by myself, I'm with someone I love and who loves me no matter what. I think you should take the focus off of him and put it back onto yourself, where it rightfully belongs.
Author hurting1712 Posted October 4, 2006 Author Posted October 4, 2006 You are right he humiliated me and put me down all the time saying I was obsessed or something because I wanted him to talk to me and hold my hand occasionally......I sit there and think of that and it makes me feel at ease and not want him back... It is when I sit and remember I am alone that I miss him...I know this is the right thing to do it just hurts really bad...I really appreciate your advice it helps to know other people have went thru the same thing....
amaysngrace Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 You are right he humiliated me and put me down all the time saying I was obsessed or something because I wanted him to talk to me and hold my hand occasionally He makes you feel bad about the things that most people expect from their significant others in a relationship. I hate to say this, but he isn't giving you what you need to have a healthy relationship with him. You and he have different needs. And it sounds like he isn't able to meet yours. You're not bad because you expect communication and affection from your partner. You're quite normal, really.
Author hurting1712 Posted October 4, 2006 Author Posted October 4, 2006 Thank you so much for that...I guess I needed at least one person to agree with me on that. I felt like I really was some psycho for how I was acting..... I guess I need to finally realize its over instead of just saying it but inside feeling like oh if he comes back I will let him after I bless him out a little bit.....
amaysngrace Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 No problem. Keep posting if it helps you through. I'm going to the beach. We got a beach day here in Jersey. A true gift for October. Stay strong...and nice to meet ya!
Author hurting1712 Posted October 4, 2006 Author Posted October 4, 2006 Oh well that sounds like a lot of fun and it is really great to meet you too.....its nice to know there are people who care about helping others out there.....it truly does help me to come here and post and kinda rant I guess. Have fun at the beach.....while I am stuck here at work:mad:
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