Guest Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 okay so heres my situation...theres this girl that i like, lets just call her Amanda. Me and amanda have a friend in common, let's call him Shawn. Now me and amanda are EXTREMELY close friends. and i happen to like amanda a little more than just a friend. and im not sure if she liked me back. now me and shawn were having a conversation online, and he asked me if i liked amanda. i didnt want anything spreading, so i said "of course not, we're just friends" and i kept denying it over and over again. but shawn ended up sending amanda the convo, and now she thinks i dont like her. and i dont want to tell amanda that i like her straightforward, because if she doesnt like me back, it could ruin the friendship, and i dont want that. but now i have to somehow get her to know that i like her, without telling her straightforward...kind of subliminally tell her that i like her, even after her reading that i "dont like her". or if there is a way i can find out if she even likes me. my fear, is that i dont want her to think that i dont like her, and she actually might have liked me, but now she will move on. because i really like her, and i think it could be a great relationship... any help pleaseeeeee?
Walk Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 You're not going to like what I have to say, because it's going to require that you use your cajones. First, Tell Shawn that if he ever pulls a stunt like that again then you're going to knock him flat off the face of the planet. He back stabbed you. Transfered a private conversation to a third party. I'd guarantee that Shawn has feelings for Amanda and wanted you out of the picture. Even if Shawn in saying he doesn't, he's lying, like you lied to him about your feelings. Second, Tell Amanda up front, and to her face, that you do like her and would like to take her out on X night. Not as friends either. No amount of "subliminal" messages is going to change the cold, hard evidence she has that you don't like her. She has written proof of your non-feelings for her. You can't override that with a couple of ambiguous actions. You might get lucky and end up making her really confused over the whole matter, but in the end, she'll convince herself that you really don't like her, because she has written proof you don't. She won't realize you lied to Shawn, she has no reason to think that. If you want to change her mind on the matter, then words will have to be spoken to express how you really feel and what you want. You can play all the games you want in an attempt to get her to realize how you feel... but it'll end up causing so much confusion that there won't be any action from either of you. So grab your balls and tell her you want to take her out and not as friends. What do you really have to lose at this point? As of right now, you have no chance with her. If she says no, then you're no worse off then you are now. But if she says yes... then you actually have a chance at a relationship with her. But not if you keep trying the ambiguous approach... you'll forever stay in the "friends zone". Last thought... Great rewards come at great risk. Be upfront, direct, with no ambiguity on the subject. She'll respect you for it, she'll admire your confidence, and she'll see you as someone strong. Which is highly attractive to a woman. But if you do nothing.. I'll guarantee Shawn will step in to pick up the option on dating this girl. Be confident that you are someone great. Women are attracted to men with confidence. The little boy tricks of trying to subliminally tell her you like her is not appealing. Good luck!! I know you can do it! Be strong, confident. Fake it if you don't feel it. But act. and act now.
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