saf Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 It's over. It's over and I'm angry!!! So, the entire TIME we were seeing each other and he was bing so worried and careful. His WIFE HAD LEFT HIM. He was just using me to keep himself occupied while SHE WAS GONE!!! So she came back to him and he dumped me. I am going to make him pay for this. Abd you women who hated me --- get stuffed.
Freedom Now Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 Pick up the pieces and move on. I know it hurts, but his character was revealed to you and you were the pawn in his game. Stay away from MM. The pleasure is not worth the pain. They can leave a nasty, nasty sting....
Guest Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 Remember the best revenge is living well. Just please don't do anything crazy. You sounded so obsessed with this MM in your previous posts that it scares me that you might do something you will live to regret.
whichwayisup Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 It's over. It's over and I'm angry!!! So, the entire TIME we were seeing each other and he was bing so worried and careful. His WIFE HAD LEFT HIM. He was just using me to keep himself occupied while SHE WAS GONE!!! So she came back to him and he dumped me. I am going to make him pay for this. Abd you women who hated me --- get stuffed. And then he'll call the police on you, get a restraining order. Right now the best thing you can do for yourself is get into therapy and fast. You're emotional, completely devastated and angry. NOT all good combination, and seeing as you're already making threats (without details) to make him pay for what he did - DO NOT DO IT. You'll be ruining your life for a MM who used you. Guest is right, the best revenge is to live life. Heal and move on, forget he ever existed. If you can't do this for yourself, as of RIGHT NOW, whatever comes your way (meaning police, restraining order, jail time, his wife and him confronting you to leave them alone) is your own doing. Don't react upon raw emotion - You will regret it. Please, get some therapy before you do some damage.
Guest Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 When I saw him, I wanted him. He's beautiful. I set out to get him and did. He had never had an affair - can you imagine?? and he had been with his wife for AGES. These are your words! Why contemplate revenge when you actively chose this from the start????
PoshPrincess Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 Saf, Guest and WWIU are right. Revenge is just not worth it. It may make you feel good at the time but much better to walk away with your pride intact. From the sounds of it he SO isn't worth it!!!! Look after yourself. You deserve better!
AJS Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 "I say I love being his mistress, and I do, but someday it probably won't be enough for me. I know that. And I know it will be difficult with wifey all upset about the divorce, but like I said, she should have paid more attention and taken better care of him. Alls fair." These are your words ....like above poster said, you KNEW what you were getting into. All is fair right? He doesn't want you saf, move on and let it go. Good Luck to you sweetie.
will2power Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 its time for damage control and what's damaged right now is you. I'm not attacking you here, but the damage that's been done needs to be repaired. Take care of you, and you can't focus on taking care of yourself when you plot revenge. Besides, there's not much you could do to him anyway. She left him so he was entitled to move on. He used you but you also put yourself in there. In fact you fought hard to get to the point where he could use you. Move on, be good to yourself so that you don't get embittered by the experience. Reflect on what happened and draw lessons from it. You'll be better for it.
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 Many people will see this as a travesty that you brought onto yourself. You were arrogant and showed a lack of understanding of other people's pain. You were gloating on your victory of 'winning your man' and bragging about placing him on the spot that was 'convenient' to you. Alas, that was all an illusion. It is not a bad thing to be confident. But obviously, he was playing you as much as you thought you were playing him. In the games of the heart, men will win - by default - because women tend to take the game too seriously. I am a confident woman. There is almost nothing that people can do or say that can affect me emotionally. But I did fall for a MM. I couldn't help myself. I literally threw myself at his mercy, I plainly handed him my heart. I set myself up for pain. (Don't ask me why I did it.) So yes, I allowed him to hurt me in ways that no other can. (I should mention that he has been very kind to me and hasn't really beaten my heart with a hammer or anything.) He doesn't want to make an honest woman of me - and that is ENOUGH for my heart to bleed. My point is, when you set yourself up for 'love', you have to be willing to pay the price when you lose. I can understand your pain. He lied to you. He probably never loved you either. But the best revenge is LIVING WELL. Know that he was a miserable man when he met you. Know that you made him happy. Know that he made you happy for a time. That's got to be worth your time! His W left. Then she came back. So is his W the lucky one - or is it you, the one who got away? Things are often not what they seem at first glance. Marriage is a very complicated relationship. It is not all what people tout it to be. Most marriages are awful... especially to the woman who volunteers to be the doormat time and again. What kind of marriage do they have? Lastly, I want to leave you with this thought: you were probably not his first OW, and definitely won't be his last.
norajane Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 It's over. It's over and I'm angry!!! So, the entire TIME we were seeing each other and he was bing so worried and careful. His WIFE HAD LEFT HIM. He was just using me to keep himself occupied while SHE WAS GONE!!! So she came back to him and he dumped me. I am going to make him pay for this. Abd you women who hated me --- get stuffed. No one hated you. We don't even know you. We reacted to what you were saying, which was to call the OWs who post here unimaginative because they wouldn't go so far as to make up lies and mail them to their MM's wives. We tried to tell you that you were dealing with a man who lies to his wife and that makes him a liar, which means he's very likely lying to you as well. We tried to tell you that there were things you were overlooking, that you didn't know this man nearly as well as you thought you did. We tried to tell you that you didn't have as much control as you thought you did, that you weren't really calling the shots. And we tried to tell you to walk away before you got hurt. Now you're telling these same people to get stuffed. At the same time, you're posting here, presumably for a reason, presumably to express your pain and maybe get some advice. You must have realized that these people were right and have some experience that might be of benefit now that you're hurting. So listen to them this time when they're telling you to forget about your revenge and to get on with your life. Listen to them when they tell you that you've already wasted 2 years of your life to get this man and stop wasting more by plotting revenge. Listen to them when they tell you that you're better to put this behind you, learn from it, and focus on making yourself feel better. Listen to them when they tell you to avoid MM and find a healthy relationship with a man who has something to offer you.
lovernotafighter Posted October 5, 2006 Posted October 5, 2006 nope nora jane I did indeed hate saf I'm sorry saf I just had to say it, because your just being so ridiculous. we don't know you, but I did hate the lame-o crap you posted...a waste of everyones energy.
Adunaphel Posted October 5, 2006 Posted October 5, 2006 omg - there actually are men like this out there??? Saf, I'm sorry that he played you. Do not try to make him pay for it... it would backfire. He can hurt you more than you acn hurt him right now. You self esteem is going to get more damaged if you do anything for revenge than if you just do your best to forget him completely and get over him.
Raylene Posted October 5, 2006 Posted October 5, 2006 Well, I have to admit I'm curious as to what sort of revenge you were planning? If you are planning anything even remotely illegal remember it is YOU that will end up in legal trouble, not him. That would be sort of like letting him slap you twice. Learn from your mistake and stay away from married men. With that said, sounds as if your emotions got involved and you are in pain, and that I understand and sympathize with, cause pain is pain, even if we bring it on ourselves. Try to work through your pain, best you can, then find yourself a single boyfriend--one who is not married, not living with another woman, and is not in a committed bf/gf relationship. Then someday when you pass your married man on the street, smile sweetly and wave, then turn and give your new guy a big smooch. That, sweetie, would be the best revenge.
outofdarkness Posted October 5, 2006 Posted October 5, 2006 It's over. It's over and I'm angry!!! So, the entire TIME we were seeing each other and he was bing so worried and careful. His WIFE HAD LEFT HIM. He was just using me to keep himself occupied while SHE WAS GONE!!! So she came back to him and he dumped me. I am going to make him pay for this. Abd you women who hated me --- get stuffed. o my gosh....don't do anything!!! You will not only hurt others, but yourself in the process. I understand your anger, I am the W of a cheater, but revenge...ie., making him pay? How did you THINK it would end up? Of course he used you...cheaters use all of us..the W's the OW's..the children involved...everyone!! They are selfish and have no respect for themselves or those that they supposedly love...There can be changes, if the person is remorseful and really WANTS to change, but you have to respect whatever decision he has made and move on...You are worth more then that...Don't mess up the rest of your life just because you got involved and hurt by a F---up!!! It will get better..It just takes time and support...You can do it without having to bring yourself down to his level...
Seen_It_All Posted October 6, 2006 Posted October 6, 2006 Why are OW continually surprised when they find out these guys LIE to them? It's perfectly FINE when he's lying to the wife and kids so he can meet the OW for an hour - make no mistake about that. But when the OW finds out he's ALSO lying to THEM as well, all of a sudden he's a weasel and a loser. Sorry, don't see the logic in that. You obviously knew he was a lying cheater when you were having your affair with him, right? Did you not listen to him lie to his wife on the phone about where he was if she called him when he was with you? Did you not occasionally help him think of plausible stories to tell her if he was late getting home because he spent too much time at your house? Surely you saw the lying 'pro' in action occasionally, did you not? So why are you surprised to also be a recipient of his lies? What makes YOU more special than his wife? The guy's a proven liar and cheat, this is not rocket science. If he'll lie to her, he'll lie to you. You walked into it knowing what a low life sleaze he was. Revenge? Take it out on yourself - for not having enough common sense to know better than to get involved with a liar in the first place. Or were you just an 'innocent' victim? Yeah, I thought not.
NoIDidn't Posted October 6, 2006 Posted October 6, 2006 saf, You are sick and need some help. You went after this guy, set out to lie about his W, and now YOU are the angry one? What is with people telling you that he is the bad guy. He is not. You are. His W left and then decided to come back. He had a choice of life with his W, or with his bunnyboiler. He made the better choice. Get some help. Go to a therapist. Check out a love addiction website. Join a 12 step group. Stay away from this man and his W. Revenge will not help you. You sound like the kind of person that will not be happy until he has nothing - the classic "if-I-can't-have-you-no-one-will" or "if I can't be happy, he won't be either". Don't you think you have done enough damage? You weren't used, you were just lied to, and you put yourself into that position by setting out to destroy his M to begin with. I don't feel sorry for you, but for everyone that crosses your path IRL. I am not one to give extremely harsh posts, but you need a kick in the a$$. Quite frankly, if you were a relative of mine, talking this nonesense, you would get a serious intervention. Get over it. Move on (to your next victim, apparently). Get some help.
Author saf Posted October 6, 2006 Author Posted October 6, 2006 awright awready --- no, i'm not gonna DO anything to either of them. i'm still totally pissed, but ya know what pisses me off the most? his d*** wife won, and she didn't even do anything but go back to him. i worked so damn hard to get him. i wanted him so bad. i dunno, maybe it pisses me off more that i thought he was cheatin on her with me, and he wasn't even doing that.
2sunny Posted October 6, 2006 Posted October 6, 2006 awright awready --- no, i'm not gonna DO anything to either of them. i'm still totally pissed, but ya know what pisses me off the most? his d*** wife won, and she didn't even do anything but go back to him. i worked so damn hard to get him. i wanted him so bad. i dunno, maybe it pisses me off more that i thought he was cheatin on her with me, and he wasn't even doing that. What are you pissed about? He was MARRIED and YOU knew it, yet you still wanted to win him like it was a contest or something. He was your winning TROPHY! Move on - to a healthy relationship. A man that IS available - so that you can allow yourself to be happy without all this worry...
outofdarkness Posted October 6, 2006 Posted October 6, 2006 awright awready --- no, i'm not gonna DO anything to either of them. i'm still totally pissed, but ya know what pisses me off the most? his d*** wife won, and she didn't even do anything but go back to him. i worked so damn hard to get him. i wanted him so bad. i dunno, maybe it pisses me off more that i thought he was cheatin on her with me, and he wasn't even doing that. she won??? was this a contest...for god's sake, there are real people with real feelings and lives involved here! There are kids and family involved...YOU did not say vows with him..YOU did not raise/raising his kids, YOU did not wash his dirty laundry, fix him meals and care for him when he had the flu...YOU do not help him pay the mortgage on his home, YOU are NOT his W!!! I don't like to be ugly, but come on...a contest...You sound really mixed up and need help asap!!! How do you know that she didn't do anything to get him back??? I suppose that he tells you the truth? Think again...He has been lieing to you just as he lied to his W...The OW., main one that is, that lasted over 10 years, was heartbroken with ME on the phone because he had been cheating on HER!!! She cried on the phone with ME...If a cheater lies to the spouse he/she will lie to the OW-OM....I will be thinking of you and hope that you reach out to someone for help...A therapist would be best, but there are other confidential resources out there. Sounds like you need a crisis hotline right now. If I were the W in your case and knew about your feelings/what you've said, I'd be scared to death!!! You almost came right out and SAID that you were going to do something hurtful and possibly illegal...
whichwayisup Posted October 6, 2006 Posted October 6, 2006 awright awready --- no, i'm not gonna DO anything to either of them. i'm still totally pissed, but ya know what pisses me off the most? his d*** wife won, and she didn't even do anything but go back to him. i worked so damn hard to get him. i wanted him so bad. i dunno, maybe it pisses me off more that i thought he was cheatin on her with me, and he wasn't even doing that. Excuse me, but he was HERS FIRST! Hense, wife, marriage vows...He was never really "yours" to begin with. If he was, he'd be divorcing her and staying with you. Sorry, but the sooner you accept this, move on and forget about him, the better off you will be. The guy is a liar, and made a fool of you and his wife. He certainly isn't worth fighting for.
Guest Posted October 6, 2006 Posted October 6, 2006 awright awready --- no, i'm not gonna DO anything to either of them. i'm still totally pissed, but ya know what pisses me off the most? his d*** wife won, and she didn't even do anything but go back to him. i worked so damn hard to get him. i wanted him so bad. i dunno, maybe it pisses me off more that i thought he was cheatin on her with me, and he wasn't even doing that. You didn't want HIM so bad, you wanted the boost that comes with with having a man choose you over another woman. That's why you keep going after married men. If you did win him, I'm sure you would of grown bored and it wouldn't of been long until you found a new MM to pursue.
Guest Posted October 6, 2006 Posted October 6, 2006 Saf, the W didn't "win" anything. He chose his M over you. He was using you. You need to see this for what it is. The other posters are right, go see a therapist ASAP!
Guest Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 ya know what pisses me off the most? his d*** wife won, and she didn't even do anything but go back to him. i worked so damn hard to get him. i wanted him so bad. i dunno, maybe it pisses me off more that i thought he was cheatin on her with me, and he wasn't even doing that. What did she win? A liar and a cheat? Is that a prize? Maybe you should think of it as his wife losing instead. Would you want to win a guy like him?
whichwayisup Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 ya know what pisses me off the most? his d*** wife won, and she didn't even do anything but go back to him. i worked so damn hard to get him. i wanted him so bad. Just re-reading these words brings chills up and down my spine. I hope one day you see how unbalanced you sound here. Sorry saf, I know you're hurting, that is obvious, but this man was never yours to begin with. In the heat of the moment you may have "had" him, but the fact is, he was his wife's first. You helped yourself, thought you were better than his wife, could compete with her, and then he decided he wanted to be with her afterall. Accept it, move on and don't ever look back.
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