Mollyanna Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 How am I supposed to ignore him and make him suffer if he doesn't call? LOL i am actually watching the phone all day hoping he will call, so I can NOT answer it. pathetic.
Art_Critic Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 MA.. this may not sound like advice but in the end it really is.. A couple of years ago I went thru a breakup that tore me to pieces.... ( and still haunts me at times ) I wished after it all that I had just moved on like she did.. To try and hurt her I went right back online dating ( where we met ) to show her that I wasn't hurting.. I was and because I was online trying to hurt her I never moved on like I should've. I never even went out on any dates.. but by god I was online everynight to try to get her to call me.. She never did call me She did however move on.. maybe because I was playing the game.. Today.. I wished I had moved on.. The guy you are trying to get to hurt over losing you doesn't care.. otherwise he would be in touch with you.. Try and put yourself out there ... You really need to let him go and remember what they say " The best way to get over someone is to get under someone "
Guest Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 MA.. this may not sound like advice but in the end it really is.. A couple of years ago I went thru a breakup that tore me to pieces.... ( and still haunts me at times ) I wished after it all that I had just moved on like she did.. To try and hurt her I went right back online dating ( where we met ) to show her that I wasn't hurting.. I was and because I was online trying to hurt her I never moved on like I should've. I never even went out on any dates.. but by god I was online everynight to try to get her to call me.. She never did call me She did however move on.. maybe because I was playing the game.. Today.. I wished I had moved on.. The guy you are trying to get to hurt over losing you doesn't care.. otherwise he would be in touch with you.. Try and put yourself out there ... You really need to let him go and remember what they say " The best way to get over someone is to get under someone " I was calm all day and have been for awhile not trying to search of a gf. Now reading your qoute that being under someone helps, I am feeling an urge to get onto the dating scene. Its so hard to meet a girl who both people are interested in each other. Ussually either im into them or they are into me. Hardly both at the same time... Need some help on meeting a girl. hope you get better Mollyanna, I know it hurts to be in the position you. My cell phone is not working bc something is wrong with the sim card, im planning to keep it this way for a few days so I don't get an urge to call her or she gets to call me. Im trying to break this unhealthy habit. Hope you get well soon! Take Care! -loveinlife
Rooster_DAR Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 How am I supposed to ignore him and make him suffer if he doesn't call? LOL i am actually watching the phone all day hoping he will call, so I can NOT answer it. pathetic. Take the mindset that he cares nothing about you and there's nothing you can do about it. When you finally have moved on, then you will have accomplished everything in your favor. REgards
Author Mollyanna Posted October 3, 2006 Author Posted October 3, 2006 he called.. finally. we talked for a while. i wasn't exactly pleasant - pretty standoffish. He asked me what was wrong and I said "I guess I am still mad at you." He knows why. He tried to make me laugh and it didn't work. Finally he asked if he could call me on Wednesday night and maybe i would be in a better mood.
johnnytable Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 Why are you taking his calls? I don't know your story, but it sounds like he dumped you. Why let him continue to contact you and hurt you further? There is nothing he can do (except leave you alone) to help you out. It's all you now.
Author Mollyanna Posted October 4, 2006 Author Posted October 4, 2006 because I am on vacation and lonely. because I want someone back home to care about me. weird thing is.. after i was real distant yesterday, he called me again today and I kept trying to get off the phone and he just kept thinking of things to say. Then he made me promise I would call him tomorrow. What is with these games? I told him I don't want to be intimate with him anymore because I think what he is doing (sleeping with multiple partners) is disgusting. I mean that! I am totally turned off by him now. But I still want him as a friend, I think. But I want him to know how mad I am too. Screwed up, eh?
hurting1712 Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 I agree with Art Critic... Actually as embarassing as it is to admit....I have a Myspace page and so does my ex so for a very long time I would sit there and make SURE to update my pics and see how many guys I could get to talk to me so my ex would look at my page and in my mind I thought it would make him jealous and want me back. That did work for a while, we got back together several times but always broke up....so back I would go to doing the same thing, and there he would be until one day he stopped signing on...and he signed back into the real world...without me in it. I sat there wasting months of my life talking to people I never really cared about to show him I didnt need him but in the end I guess he showed me and back here I am..... So maybe instead of making the same mistake I have for so long go out and do things for you without the secret intent of wanting to make him jealous or make him realize he wants you back. You may end up realizing you are wasting your life away for nothing....
Author Mollyanna Posted October 7, 2006 Author Posted October 7, 2006 I am wasting my life away. You are right. I spent most of my vacation waiting for him to call. He would call, talk a few minutes and then say he would call me the next day. 2 or 3 days later he would call and the cycle would continue. Now I am home and he was the one person I wanted to tell about my adventures. But he is too busy to talk. Going out with one of those girls tonight after work. Said he would call me tomorrow. If this is the way this friendship is going to go, I don't even want it anymore. Better to just walk away and have no friends at all here than to have to sit here begging for scraps.
Teacher's Pet Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 Now I am home and he was the one person I wanted to tell about my adventures. Hey!! I wanna hear those stories, too! xoxo -tp still in his pajamas at 7pm on a Saturday night, watching the Yankees and getting nauseous.....
ImInPain Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 You cannot waste your life away waiting for the phone to ring. That is what I will remember most about the summer of '06. Don't do that to yourself. Leave it where you can't get to it, put it on silent or just leave it off. You will find it very much a healthy process to go through. What did you do before a cell, sit by the lan line phone? NO! So put it down or change the number. He does not get to control or have the upper hand anymore. It's your life and you need to take it back.
daphne Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 Molly, I've been reading your posts for some time and I'm sorry but I'm going to be blunt. I wish you'd stop torturing yourself over this guy. You are hurting yourself more than he is. I wish you'd get a backbone and realize that you deserve a whole hell of a lot better than what this chicken **** is offering you. If you'd just stop obsessing and move on with your life and go full no contact, you'd eventually realize what everyone else already sees. He's soooo not worth your time. You have him idealized in your head mainly because he doesn't want you hte way you want him. This is extremely unhealthy. The longer you waste your time obsessing about this loser, the longer it'll take to heal and find someone better for you. This guy is no catch. And I think deep down you know that but you want what you can't have. And this just feeds his ego even more. Is this the kind of guy you initially wanted in your life? If you had to write down what you really wanted, I doubt it would resemble anything like him. So use your head. And get your dignity back.
ImInPain Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 daphne I agree but when your heart tells you one thing it's hard to get your head to not follow. I love my now ex GF with all my heart and I am waiting like a fool. I know she is with someone else and I can't help but hope she will come back. I love her with all my heart. I know she loves me the same. She is hurt scared and looking for attention. I think my case is slightly different as we have a 5 year history. I do say to everyone try NC and it will get some kind of response. Remember no response is a response also. Just work on yourself and stay strong. Read posts on hear and keep your head up. Everyday above ground is a good day.
Rooster_DAR Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 daphne I agree but when your heart tells you one thing it's hard to get your head to not follow. I love my now ex GF with all my heart and I am waiting like a fool. I know she is with someone else and I can't help but hope she will come back. I love her with all my heart. I know she loves me the same. She is hurt scared and looking for attention. I think my case is slightly different as we have a 5 year history. I do say to everyone try NC and it will get some kind of response. Remember no response is a response also. Just work on yourself and stay strong. Read posts on hear and keep your head up. Everyday above ground is a good day. I agree as well, Somedays I say the I hate her (my EX), then other days I realize how I still love her. I guess I'm just looking at the person she was before she changed. I would not hold on to hope, hope is a dangerous thing. Although, at times in the back of my head that fantasy play out. This sh** just plain su*** the big one.
Amour77 Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 I am wasting my life away. You are right. But he is too busy to talk. Going out with one of those girls tonight after work. Said he would call me tomorrow. If this is the way this friendship is going to go, I don't even want it anymore. Better to just walk away and have no friends at all here than to have to sit here begging for scraps. Exactly, you've summed it up all ! You want to be his friends because you hope you will get him back somehow! Friendship cannot work, and you are now realising it!
Art_Critic Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 Somedays I say the I hate her (my EX), then other days I realize how I still love her. I guess I'm just looking at the person she was before she changed. Been there before Rooster.. It's good that you can see that it is the person before or the person you once knew. I still sometimes still think about an ex..but she moved on and didn't want to reconcile..or I should say that she didn't care about me..( at least that is what I tell myself to make it easier ) This is something that I have brought to the forefront when I start the stinking thinking. Chin up.. Remember that when a person rejects us without giving us a chance then it is their loss not ours..
Teacher's Pet Posted October 8, 2006 Posted October 8, 2006 You cannot waste your life away waiting for the phone to ring. That is what I will remember most about the summer of '06. Sounds like my summer, too..... For weeks I thought she'd just call and everything would be ok again...... Took me 3 months to admit to myself it was time to move on...... -tp moving along
Author Mollyanna Posted October 9, 2006 Author Posted October 9, 2006 well good news and bad news - he called this morning. I am becoming this nag now. Most of the conversation was me telling him he could call me back once in a while and not to say he is going to call if he doesn't plan to. I told him that i feel like he has no time for me anymore. He told me to quit reading into everything and for me to just get over it - that until he gets his cell phone back, I need to be patient. No apologies - just "get over it". I told him that if this is the way our friendship is going to be, then I don't want it. I don't want to be left picking up the scraps of what little time he has left over after playing with all those girls. He said he would call me tonight after work and I would have his undivided attention. How come that really didn't make me feel any better? I mean, what else can I expect him to say? I REALLY am about over this. I guess last night I must have been really pissed off and ready to make a point. Call me stupid but I spent the night with the guy I met a month ago. We didn't have sex, but it was leading that way. The thing is, I like this guy but I don't like him THAT much and I don't think he feels that way about me either. Part of me just wanted to get back at D. I found out yesterday we all have a mutual acquaintance and it is a possibility that D will find out. But hell, I might just tell him anyway. When I woke up this morning, I felt like I was cheating on him.
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