r67 Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 Neophite here. Only be a few weeks and been doing a lot of soul searching and reading. This forum, recommended websites and books have given me a ton of information to digest. However, when someone tells you: 1) "I love you but I am in not in love with you" 2) "I don't want to go to marriage counseling because I feel I am beyond you" 3) "I think there is something better for me out there" 4) "I think I want a divorce but I am not sure" 5) "I want a separation" I moved out and have been separated since. We are both attending individual counseling. I have read a lot about giving her her space, limit the contact in order for her to 'miss' you, focus and take care of yourself etc... I feel I am a fairly logical person and come back to this basic question. If she does not love me, feels she's beyond me what's the purpose of a separation?
Rooster_DAR Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 Neophite here. Only be a few weeks and been doing a lot of soul searching and reading. This forum, recommended websites and books have given me a ton of information to digest. However, when someone tells you: 1) "I love you but I am in not in love with you" 2) "I don't want to go to marriage counseling because I feel I am beyond you" 3) "I think there is something better for me out there" 4) "I think I want a divorce but I am not sure" 5) "I want a separation" I moved out and have been separated since. We are both attending individual counseling. I have read a lot about giving her her space, limit the contact in order for her to 'miss' you, focus and take care of yourself etc... I feel I am a fairly logical person and come back to this basic question. If she does not love me, feels she's beyond me what's the purpose of a separation? There is not purpose for you, but for her it's a lighter way of letting you go. It's over, best thing you can do is move on. Seperation is the inevitable end of a relationship. When my EX mentioned the word, I stated that if we seperated, that would be the end and I meant it. BTW, all five of the statements you used are a death knell. Good luck!
bluechocolate Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 1) "I love you but I am in not in love with you" I don't love you & I like to use phrases I heard in high-school 2) "I don't want to go to marriage counseling because I feel I am beyond you" I have no intention to take positive steps to salvage this relationship. 3) "I think there is something better for me out there" ...and you are not him. 4) "I think I want a divorce but I am not sure" It's such a hassle. 5) "I want a separation" Because it is much easier than a divorce.
amaysngrace Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 I agree with the others. It's over. And she wants her cake and to eat it too which is why she hasn't filed for divorce. Do yourself a favor...find a good attorney. If you can afford it, meet with the top five in your area just so it conflicts with her getting their representation. What she said is cruel and the fact that she wants to keep you hanging on is even more cruel. You don't need counseling, or maybe you do. More likely you just need to go get laid. That's what I would do, if I were a guy!
magichands Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 I agree with the others. It's over. Hang on...I wanted to say something. Oh...I see what you mean, now. Whoops. I didn't think that you were the dictatorial type. Neophite, I am so sorry that it's not working out. So she does not agree to going to counselling together?
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