latefragment Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 i know i'm going to get flamed for this but i think it seems like you really want to talk to this guy. you're the one who cut it off right? two years ago? so if you want to give him another chance, you're the one who needs to contact him and say hey i read your letter, tell me how you have changed. i am sure that was just a female friend of his and not his date. there's no way he would've treated a date that way. honestly. i hang with my guy friends all the time and it looks like they're my date but they're not bc there 's no PDA. ok, i know people will disagree with me. i am just saying maybe this guy's a jerk but you're getting really, really, hung up on whether you've blown it. no you haven't, not in my opinion. he wanted to get your attention bc he still has some feelings for you but i agree with walk it could just be an ego trip and he's violent and maniacal. so if you want, contact the dude and let him earn your trust back and see if he's had any treatment for drugs. but BE VERY CAREFUL. he could be a violent person. so BE VERY CAREFUL. and honestly, everyone's telling you he sounds like scum and he's not worth it. but i don't necessarily agree. the fact is you only have 1 piece of RECENT information to base it on. i'm a girl and i've done plenty of crazy things in public that would cause someone to say i'm overly aggressive ... but that was (1) in the past, i'm over it now, i'm a peace-loving creature, and my actions were also (2) due to some traumatic experiences i had before, where the situation arose and made me feel threatened and in danger again, etc. etc. psychobabble. if you want, get to know the person he's become. be careful and watch for red flags of drugs/violence. what do you think?
Author missy77 Posted October 3, 2006 Author Posted October 3, 2006 i know i'm going to get flamed for this but i think it seems like you really want to talk to this guy. you're the one who cut it off right? two years ago? so if you want to give him another chance, you're the one who needs to contact him and say hey i read your letter, tell me how you have changed. i am sure that was just a female friend of his and not his date. there's no way he would've treated a date that way. honestly. i hang with my guy friends all the time and it looks like they're my date but they're not bc there 's no PDA. ok, i know people will disagree with me. i am just saying maybe this guy's a jerk but you're getting really, really, hung up on whether you've blown it. no you haven't, not in my opinion. he wanted to get your attention bc he still has some feelings for you but i agree with walk it could just be an ego trip and he's violent and maniacal. so if you want, contact the dude and let him earn your trust back and see if he's had any treatment for drugs. but BE VERY CAREFUL. he could be a violent person. so BE VERY CAREFUL. and honestly, everyone's telling you he sounds like scum and he's not worth it. but i don't necessarily agree. the fact is you only have 1 piece of RECENT information to base it on. i'm a girl and i've done plenty of crazy things in public that would cause someone to say i'm overly aggressive ... but that was (1) in the past, i'm over it now, i'm a peace-loving creature, and my actions were also (2) due to some traumatic experiences i had before, where the situation arose and made me feel threatened and in danger again, etc. etc. psychobabble. if you want, get to know the person he's become. be careful and watch for red flags of drugs/violence. what do you think? Two years he left a message on my answering machine, said he would call me when he got a free minute well he never called. Eights months later I get a letter in the mail, apologizing about the way he treated me, said he was scared of getting his heart broken, he had a drug problem, etc.... I didn't respond to his letter at all. Because I was just threw with playing games, and us being on again off again. I just got sick of it. So, anyway this past weekend was the first time I've seen or talked to him in at least 2 years. I was just standing in line waiting to buy a movie ticket, I saw him and he said hello to me. I ignored him, then he came over got in my face and siad hello, how are you doing. I didn't make eye contact with him, I said fine, my head was turned away from him. I just don't know what to think or feel at the moment, I don't even know why he did what he did. I don't know what my next move should be, or should I do nothing and wait for him. I'm totally lost right now.
catgirl1927 Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 I think your next move should be to move on.
Author missy77 Posted October 3, 2006 Author Posted October 3, 2006 I think your next move should be to move on. I completely agree, and thats what I have been doing the past two years. And then I see him, at the movies at he starts things up. I don't know what to think, is he interested, or just trying to be nosey. He does the stupidist things.
Author missy77 Posted October 3, 2006 Author Posted October 3, 2006 Well, what do you think of my actions this past weekend toward my ex? Do you think I handled it well? Also, what do you think my ex thinks of me now, based on my actions?
Author missy77 Posted October 3, 2006 Author Posted October 3, 2006 I hate being so confused right now....ugh, its such a terrible feeling. He told me in his letter that he wrote 2 years ago, that he was insecure, and thought I would never go out with him. Because there is a lot of difference between us look wise. But I try not to judge anyone according to looks. I'm just really at a loss, I don't know what to do, or even how to feel. What should I do? Should I call him?
Walk Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 but BE VERY CAREFUL. he could be a violent person. so BE VERY CAREFUL. and honestly, everyone's telling you he sounds like scum and he's not worth it. but i don't necessarily agree. the fact is you only have 1 piece of RECENT information to base it on. i'm a girl and i've done plenty of crazy things in public ...... (2) due to some traumatic experiences i had before, where the situation arose and made me feel threatened and in danger again, etc. etc. psychobabble. Definitetly not going to flame you latefragment. However, I do feel that a logical, rational person would have asked once, and when she refused to answer he would have dropped it and gone about his business... not jumped in her face and forced her to interact with him. I don't necessarily associate "OMG he must like me" when a person "COMPLETELY gets in my face", pressures me to answer them, and then stands around staring at me while I'm trying to have an enjoyable evening with a friend. Kind of sends little red flags waving in my head... but that's just me.. I don't find it attractive because it makes me think he's attempting to exert far too much control over the situation by demanding a response. There were a million other (mature) ways he could've handled the situation, yet the one he chose was childish. However.. seems it doesnt' matter what logical reasons we give her for why contacting him isn't a good idea... Bet a dollar she does it anyway.
Author missy77 Posted October 3, 2006 Author Posted October 3, 2006 Definitetly not going to flame you latefragment. However, I do feel that a logical, rational person would have asked once, and when she refused to answer he would have dropped it and gone about his business... not jumped in her face and forced her to interact with him. I don't necessarily associate "OMG he must like me" when a person "COMPLETELY gets in my face", pressures me to answer them, and then stands around staring at me while I'm trying to have an enjoyable evening with a friend. Kind of sends little red flags waving in my head... but that's just me.. I don't find it attractive because it makes me think he's attempting to exert far too much control over the situation by demanding a response. There were a million other (mature) ways he could've handled the situation, yet the one he chose was childish. However.. seems it doesnt' matter what logical reasons we give her for why contacting him isn't a good idea... Bet a dollar she does it anyway. That is exactly how I feel like he was forcing me to interact with him, after I ignored him the first time. Part of me feels like, he must really like me because its been two years since I've seen him or talked to him, and he was sooooo desperately trying to get my attention. Then the other part of me hates him, can't stand him, and wants nothing to do with him. Because in the past he has had too many chances to treat me right. I'm not going to call him, I feel if I do, I will be a fool. I just wonder if I handled the situation correctly Saturday night. UGH!!! This is soooo hard to deal with!!!
Walk Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 **I take back what I said in this post*** Yay.. Don't call him!!!!!
Author missy77 Posted October 3, 2006 Author Posted October 3, 2006 **I take back what I said in this post*** Yay.. Don't call him!!!!! I'm not, it would only cause more headache and drama. Do you think I handled the situation right, on Saturday night?
Walk Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 I thought you did an exemplary job! I would love to think that I could handle myself as well if I had been in the same situation, but I'm not so sure I could... But yes. I think you handled yourself very well.
mental_traveller Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 Maybe he felt insulted that you ignored him, and then decided "ah, so she's a stuck up bitch who thinks she's too good to talk to me??". Some people think like that. So he got in your face to force you to acknowledge him after you had bruised his ego. I dunno but it sounds like the most likely explanation to me.
Author missy77 Posted October 4, 2006 Author Posted October 4, 2006 Maybe he felt insulted that you ignored him, and then decided "ah, so she's a stuck up bitch who thinks she's too good to talk to me??". Some people think like that. So he got in your face to force you to acknowledge him after you had bruised his ego. I dunno but it sounds like the most likely explanation to me. I thought about that too, but he knows I'm not like that at all. When I first saw him that night, standing in line I did give him a dirty look because I was still mad at him. But I'm not stuck up at all and he knows that.
Author missy77 Posted October 4, 2006 Author Posted October 4, 2006 Do you guys think he will call me?
arniebuteft Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 Do you guys think he will call me? You're hoping he will, right? You want him to call, say he's sorry, he still loves you, wants to get back together, etc? Now ask yourself WHY you want him to call you and say all those things.
Author missy77 Posted October 4, 2006 Author Posted October 4, 2006 You're hoping he will, right? You want him to call, say he's sorry, he still loves you, wants to get back together, etc? Now ask yourself WHY you want him to call you and say all those things. Well, because I still have feelings for him, and I think he does too or he would not have done what he did Saturday night. Right?
Author missy77 Posted October 4, 2006 Author Posted October 4, 2006 I know I'm pathetic right!! Well just suppose he still has feelings for me or would like us to start seeing each other again. That why I knda think he did what he did Saturday night. Should I call him, wait to see if he calls me or stops by my house. What in the world she I do? I'm lost. I hate going back and forth like this.
Guest Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 it wouldnt of hurt to say, hi how are you, if u hadnt seen eachother for 2 years. Ignoring him just gets him mad. Id get mad too. Ignoring people can be the worst thing possible. Im not sure of any of the details tho, but if u guys hadnt seen eachother for 2 years, its only a nice thing to say hello, unless he was some kind of crazy stalker rapist, u should have talked to him. Its the polite thing to do.
Guest Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 Well, because I still have feelings for him, and I think he does too or he would not have done what he did Saturday night. Right? No no no no no. theres a possibiblity he has feelings for u still, a good one, but thats not thye reason he "got in your face", its beacuse it was like he was talking to a brick wall. That sounds pretty frustrating for him. I suggest if u do call him, its just to apoligize, not o get back together with him. i dont know why you dont understand that, or any of the other people in her. and yes, u were a complete bitch by not saying a word to him, it never hurts to say hello. If he asked u out for some reason, then u can say no. If he doesnt take no for an answer, then youve got a problem and u ignore him. how cares about his date by the way, how do you know they ddint get into a fight that day or how do u know it wasnt a first date? you treated him like he never existed, and whether your mad about it happeneing or not, he does exist and u cant ignore that. by the way, if it wasnt a coincidence that he saw u at the theatre, youve got a problem. but if it was, then u were very impolite and wrong. thats my opinion, but of course, do whatever it is u would like.
nicki Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 You know, I've learned that it's never just one thing that keeps people together or keeps them apart. So, don't worry about how you reacted on Saturday. I wonder, though, why were you still mad 2 years later? It would seem that you really wouldn't care at all, or that it might have merely been an annoyance to see him (given how he treated you.) Have you been thinking about him for two years? Did you regret your decision to leave him? I'm sure you made the right decision back then. Time can make us forget what a hell we were living in, and we only remember the good times.... Don't call him. Don't think he is your one true love come back to you. He's the same loser you dumped two years ago. Has he gone through drug rehab or a domestic violence program, or whatever? If not, he IS the same loser. Next time you see him, say a cool hello and keep on walking. Please don't get caught up in the same drama you once were. Drama is NOT good. Drama is NOT good....repeat 20 times....then never call him
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