missy77 Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 I ran into my ex who I have not seen in 2 years. I was standing in line at movies, he was standing in another line with his date. Anyway, he saw me first, and said "Hello". I didn't say anything back. Because I was mad, sad, and put in a bad situation. Then while I'm still standing in line, he walks over to me, gets COMPLETELY IN MY FACE, AND SAYS "HELLO, HOW ARE YOU"? I didn't make eye contact with him, I said "Fine" and then turned my head. He was soooo close to me, like 2 inches from me! At the same time his date, runs over to him, and grabs his arm. He walks ago, and stands outside of the movie theatre and looks at me, I have no idea where his date was. After, I buy my ticket he I go inside and there he is again, just standing around without her. I come out of the bathroom, and then I see him walking into the movie theatre alone. Seems, to me even tho he was with a date, by his actions he doesn't care anything about her. Because he was in my face like 2 inces from me, trying to get me to talk to him. I have the feeling she was already in the movie theatre and he was standing around to see me, and see who I was with.
Pyro Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 I ran into my ex who I have not seen in 2 years. I was standing in line at movies, he was standing in another line with his date. Anyway, he saw me first, and said "Hello". I didn't say anything back. Because I was mad, sad, and put in a bad situation. Then while I'm still standing in line, he walks over to me, gets COMPLETELY IN MY FACE, AND SAYS "HELLO, HOW ARE YOU"? I didn't make eye contact with him, I said "Fine" and then turned my head. He was soooo close to me, like 2 inches from me! At the same time his date, runs over to him, and grabs his arm. He walks ago, and stands outside of the movie theatre and looks at me, I have no idea where his date was. After, I buy my ticket he I go inside and there he is again, just standing around without her. I come out of the bathroom, and then I see him walking into the movie theatre alone. Seems, to me even tho he was with a date, by his actions he doesn't care anything about her. Because he was in my face like 2 inces from me, trying to get me to talk to him. I have the feeling she was already in the movie theatre and he was standing around to see me, and see who I was with. This guy seems a little out of whack. I don't understand why he had to make it a habit to get in your face and watch you inside. Next time, just tell him that you have nothing to say to him and tell him to go away or you will get security/ or call the cops on him.
Author missy77 Posted October 2, 2006 Author Posted October 2, 2006 This guy seems a little out of whack. I don't understand why he had to make it a habit to get in your face and watch you inside. Next time, just tell him that you have nothing to say to him and tell him to go away or you will get security/ or call the cops on him. I totally think it was wrong of him to get all in my face, and try to speak to me after I ignored him the first time. And he was with a date too! By his actions he cares nothing for her. I'm just wondering why would he do something like this? Is he still interested, because he was really trying to get me to pay attention to him, to talk to him, and he was watching me too.
Pyro Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 I totally think it was wrong of him to get all in my face, and try to speak to me after I ignored him the first time. And he was with a date too! By his actions he cares nothing for her. I'm just wondering why would he do something like this? Is he still interested, because he was really trying to get me to pay attention to him, to talk to him, and he was watching me too. I am confused by his actions. Its been two years since you two dated and he supposedly had a date with him. Perhaps he was trying to make you jealous, but you said he wasn't paying attention to her. Whatever it may be, you should stay away from this guy. He doesn't seem all right in the head.
Jizzosh Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 Yea, that guy's an ass. What was he like when you were dating him? Doesn't seem like he cares, were you the one to break it up? I think he's a little jealous, and I definitely think he was waiting to see if you went with someone. Or maybe he just wanted to apologize, who knows. Depends on how he generally is.
Author missy77 Posted October 2, 2006 Author Posted October 2, 2006 Yea, that guy's an ass. What was he like when you were dating him? Doesn't seem like he cares, were you the one to break it up? I think he's a little jealous, and I definitely think he was waiting to see if you went with someone. Or maybe he just wanted to apologize, who knows. Depends on how he generally is. He was a jerk when we dated. Two years ago, he wrote me a letter apologizing for treating me bad. Said he had a drug problem, scared of getting his heart broken etc... I totally ignored the letter, I didn't call him or anything like he asked me to in the letter. So this past weekend was the first time I've seen him in 2 years. I can't believe he did what he did. I mean he was COMPLETELY IN MY FACE!!!!!! Saying hello to me, and he was totally ignoring his date. It was like he was wanting me to talk to him. And he watched me while I was standing in line, I have no idea where his date was. He surely wasn't treating her special at all!!!!! I'm just wondering why would he do this???!! Why?
Author missy77 Posted October 2, 2006 Author Posted October 2, 2006 Yea, that guy's an ass. What was he like when you were dating him? Doesn't seem like he cares, were you the one to break it up? I think he's a little jealous, and I definitely think he was waiting to see if you went with someone. Or maybe he just wanted to apologize, who knows. Depends on how he generally is. He was a jerk when we dated. Two years ago, he wrote me a letter apologizing for treating me bad. Said he had a drug problem, scared of getting his heart broken etc... I totally ignored the letter, I didn't call him or anything like he asked me to in the letter. So this past weekend was the first time I've seen him in 2 years. I can't believe he did what he did. I mean he was COMPLETELY IN MY FACE!!!!!! Saying hello to me, and he was totally ignoring his date. It was like he was wanting me to talk to him. And he watched me while I was standing in line, I have no idea where his date was. He surely wasn't treating her special at all!!!!! I'm just wondering why would he do this???!! Why?
Pyro Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 Please Help! Responding to the thread title, you didn't mess up. This guy just seems a little odd and an ass. Next time you see him, just tell him to back off.
Author missy77 Posted October 2, 2006 Author Posted October 2, 2006 Responding to the thread title, you didn't mess up. This guy just seems a little odd and an ass. Next time you see him, just tell him to back off. Thanks! But why do you think he did what he did?
Pyro Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 Thanks! But why do you think he did what he did? Any of these three possibilities: 1. He is a weirdo 2. He wanted to make you jealous 3. He wanted to see if you were there with a date
Jizzosh Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 Wow..after reading that I'm wondering why you're even asking. First off, the guy's a jerk to you. He's never gonna change, that's just how those guys are, unless they get a real good reality check. They're also the abusive and controlling guys. The way I'm seeing it is he treated you like crap when you were with him because he thought you'd be there for him always, and when you weren't he realized the error of his ways. He tried to get you back, but you did the right thing, cause he probably would've treated you like crap again. It's obvious he still wants you. Just be glad he's not a total psycho. I heard a story around my school how this one girl had to get a restraining order on her ex. Heres' basically what happened: he sent his brother to follow her whenever he wasn't around, and when she got sick of it she broke up with him. He then called her and her dad got pissed, so he picked up the phone and the dude threatened to shoot him. So the cops came over and she had to get a restraining order..
Author missy77 Posted October 2, 2006 Author Posted October 2, 2006 Wow..after reading that I'm wondering why you're even asking. First off, the guy's a jerk to you. He's never gonna change, that's just how those guys are, unless they get a real good reality check. They're also the abusive and controlling guys. The way I'm seeing it is he treated you like crap when you were with him because he thought you'd be there for him always, and when you weren't he realized the error of his ways. He tried to get you back, but you did the right thing, cause he probably would've treated you like crap again. It's obvious he still wants you. Just be glad he's not a total psycho. I heard a story around my school how this one girl had to get a restraining order on her ex. Heres' basically what happened: he sent his brother to follow her whenever he wasn't around, and when she got sick of it she broke up with him. He then called her and her dad got pissed, so he picked up the phone and the dude threatened to shoot him. So the cops came over and she had to get a restraining order.. Thanks. So do you think he wants me, that is why he did what he did?
insomnie Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 Thanks. So do you think he wants me, that is why he did what he did? Why are you so hung up on it? The guy sounds like a creep and you dated him two years ago. To me it sounds like he just wanted to catch up, see how you've been doing, but didn't realize you'd be so insistent on avoiding him. It didn't sound to me like he was trying to get back together with you. It's a little unrealistic to assume that if you bump into an ex somewhere after two years and he tries to talk to you it is because he wants you back. If he wanted you back he'd have made a real effort to contact you, like via phone or email. Let it go. He sounds really socially inept and creepy anyway.
Walk Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 I'm not understanding why you want to know "why" he did what he did? Do you still have feelings for him? Or (and please don't take this wrong) do you want that sense of control you might feel if you knew he still wanted you? Two years is a long time for you to get so worked up over why he acted as he did. It doesn't sound to me as if you have placed him in the past. Maybe there are some underlying issues that you haven't quite worked through yet? Things that are still causing you to question yourself and the past relationship, maybe? I'm just taking stabs in the dark here.. but if you were over him, done with him, then why he acted as he did wouldn't be much of a concern.. Only how to prevent or avoid it in the future. Can you explain why you need to know the motivation behind his actions? ********************************************************* Personally, (understand i can't read minds) I would say what he wanted was for you to react in any fashion, as a form of validation, or ego boost to him. He wanted to know he could get you to react, even if it was negatively. He wanted you to show him that you still felt something for him.. he wanted you to "notice" him and for you to react in some way. And I seriously think this was a power play on his part, and when you didn't react as he desired (jealous, happy, mad, angry, anything) then he forced the issue so he could at least get some kind of reaction from you. Not necessarily because he cares about you.. but how you represent his ego to him. If you still want him, then he would feel valuable and worthwhile.. but if you don't want him.. then he's a nobody. The girl he had with him was for the same thing.. there to increase his self-worth. Not that he cared for her, or even felt anythign for her.. she was a prop for him. Otherwise he would have been able to empathize with how his actions would have made her feel... yet he distanced himself from her as soon as things didn't go the way he wanted them too. That in itself is a form of a power play.. disregard for her feelings and her well being.. his actions suggest that he was motivated by feeling insecure and worthless, and wanting validation or acknowledgement, not love. That's my personal belief on what you wrote.
Author missy77 Posted October 3, 2006 Author Posted October 3, 2006 I'm not understanding why you want to know "why" he did what he did? Do you still have feelings for him? Or (and please don't take this wrong) do you want that sense of control you might feel if you knew he still wanted you? Two years is a long time for you to get so worked up over why he acted as he did. It doesn't sound to me as if you have placed him in the past. Maybe there are some underlying issues that you haven't quite worked through yet? Things that are still causing you to question yourself and the past relationship, maybe? I'm just taking stabs in the dark here.. but if you were over him, done with him, then why he acted as he did wouldn't be much of a concern.. Only how to prevent or avoid it in the future. Can you explain why you need to know the motivation behind his actions? ********************************************************* Personally, (understand i can't read minds) I would say what he wanted was for you to react in any fashion, as a form of validation, or ego boost to him. He wanted to know he could get you to react, even if it was negatively. He wanted you to show him that you still felt something for him.. he wanted you to "notice" him and for you to react in some way. And I seriously think this was a power play on his part, and when you didn't react as he desired (jealous, happy, mad, angry, anything) then he forced the issue so he could at least get some kind of reaction from you. Not necessarily because he cares about you.. but how you represent his ego to him. If you still want him, then he would feel valuable and worthwhile.. but if you don't want him.. then he's a nobody. The girl he had with him was for the same thing.. there to increase his self-worth. Not that he cared for her, or even felt anythign for her.. she was a prop for him. Otherwise he would have been able to empathize with how his actions would have made her feel... yet he distanced himself from her as soon as things didn't go the way he wanted them too. That in itself is a form of a power play.. disregard for her feelings and her well being.. his actions suggest that he was motivated by feeling insecure and worthless, and wanting validation or acknowledgement, not love. That's my personal belief on what you wrote. I still have feelings for him. Two years ago, he wrote this letter apologizing for treating me so bad. Said he had a drug problem, was of scared of getting his heart broken again. Anyway, we were on and off for 2 years, he never really gave us a chance because he never stayed around long enough. Well I didn't respond to his letter at all. And this past weekend was the first time I have seen him in 2 years. I don't think he was trying to make me jealous at all because the girl he was with was very unattractive. I'm just wondering after two years of not seeing each other, why did he do what he did. And by me only saying "Fine" when he got in my face, I feel like I threw every chance away of maybe us getting back together. I think maybe he has feelings for me because if he didn't I don't think he wuold have done what he did. Please help me to figure this out.
Walk Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 You want to get back together with him again? Why? Look at how he treated the girl he took to the movies that night. That is how he views people. You want to be that to him? How people treat those around them is how they view people in their lives. People who treat the server/waitress like crap are going to treat their SO's like crap later in the relationship. He showed absolutely NO empathy or compassion for the girl he took with him. He was so concerned with getting a reaction from you, that he totally ditched that other girl. Is that the type of trait you want in a SO? That he would willing shove aside a person he had agreed to spend time with just so he could get his own way for two seconds... Maybe you'd like to think he's "changed", and learned his lesson.. but I'll tell you right now.. his actions that evening prove he's the same jack ass you broke up with 2 years ago. It wasn't the drugs doing all the talking.. I think part of that was the REAL him too. And if you want to blindly believe he's different, then explain why he treated that girl like crap? You want to believe he cares for you so much that he'd ditch everyone to be near you... but that only proves that he's more centered on his needs then the people around him. Not your desires, not how that other girl felt. It was all about him. His want. Does that prove he's changed?
Author missy77 Posted October 3, 2006 Author Posted October 3, 2006 Have I totally blown any chances of me and my ex getting back together, because of my actions Saturday night. Did I handle the situation right? Help me, please.
Walk Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 Have I totally blown any chances of me and my ex getting back together, because of my actions Saturday night. Did I handle the situation right? Help me, please. Why do you want to "get back together" with him? Why? Give me one good valid reason why that is a good decision for you. (and not.. but I love him)
Author missy77 Posted October 3, 2006 Author Posted October 3, 2006 You want to get back together with him again? Why? Look at how he treated the girl he took to the movies that night. That is how he views people. You want to be that to him? How people treat those around them is how they view people in their lives. People who treat the server/waitress like crap are going to treat their SO's like crap later in the relationship. He showed absolutely NO empathy or compassion for the girl he took with him. He was so concerned with getting a reaction from you, that he totally ditched that other girl. Is that the type of trait you want in a SO? That he would willing shove aside a person he had agreed to spend time with just so he could get his own way for two seconds... Maybe you'd like to think he's "changed", and learned his lesson.. but I'll tell you right now.. his actions that evening prove he's the same jack ass you broke up with 2 years ago. It wasn't the drugs doing all the talking.. I think part of that was the REAL him too. And if you want to blindly believe he's different, then explain why he treated that girl like crap? You want to believe he cares for you so much that he'd ditch everyone to be near you... but that only proves that he's more centered on his needs then the people around him. Not your desires, not how that other girl felt. It was all about him. His want. Does that prove he's changed? I think he treated the girl like crap because he didn't want me to think he was "taken." Because if I thought he was involved with someone else, then there is NO WAY I would even give him the time of day. Because I would think well he has a girlfriend there is no need to waste my time, he's taken. I don't think he likes that girl, I think he was just using her to have someone to go to the movies with, and I'm pretty sure she paid for the movie. There was nothing attractive about her at all, even the way she was dressed was very unattractive. I just feel that if he didn't like me he would not have done what he did that night, wanting my attention or reactions. I guess, what I"m trying to say is I don't want to miss out on my chance with him. What if he really does like me, and I miss out. And then he gets married, then I will never have a chance with him. I know this is crazy. I just don't want to miss out on my chance with him. And I know his parents love me to death, because just a few months ago his mother called me. Do you think my reactions that night did anything to ruin my chances of getting back together? I was put in an odd situation, here he is with a date, I haven't seen or talked to him in two years. He says hi to me once, I ignore him, the next thing I know he is COMPLETELY IN MY FACE. After two years of not speaking or seeing him, he wantd to get my attention that badly? That makes me think he still has feelings for me. Because if he didn't he would have totally ignored me. Is that right, or wrong. UGH! What should my next move be?
Walk Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 Can you define "completely in my face", because i'm getting this picture of him being aggressively "in your face".. Like someoen who's demanding answer and will not settle for no.. A situation that would make you feel intimated by him, rather than feeling that "closeness" someone might feel if he were honestly concerned with how you were.
catgirl1927 Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 Girl. You need to let go of this guy, he's an immature jerk. You can do SO much better. It honestly sounds to me like he's happy to think he hurt you and would be excited to do it some more, and would really enjoy the chance to completely destroy you. RUN away. There are so many boys, and this one sounds like a loser.
Author missy77 Posted October 3, 2006 Author Posted October 3, 2006 Can you define "completely in my face", because i'm getting this picture of him being aggressively "in your face".. Like someoen who's demanding answer and will not settle for no.. A situation that would make you feel intimated by him, rather than feeling that "closeness" someone might feel if he were honestly concerned with how you were. Completley in my face=literally meaning he was 2 inches from me. I was standing in line, and he just just got right in my face, he was in my space. He made me feel like, you are going to pay attention to me and talk to me. I was so shocked and caught off guard. Especially when he stood outside the theatre with his date, and stared at me. I was still waiting in line to buy my movie ticket.
catgirl1927 Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 Completley in my face=literally meaning he was 2 inches from me. I was standing in line, and he just just got right in my face, he was in my space. He made me feel like, you are going to pay attention to me and talk to me. I was so shocked and caught off guard. Especially when he stood outside the theatre with his date, and stared at me. I was still waiting in line to buy my movie ticket. He's a bully. Ugh. Jerk. You deserve better.
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