Raylene Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 I have been told to check cell records (due to suspected infidelity), but my s/o has a cell that has a link. The link records do not show up on cell phone bill best as I can tell. Is there any way to tell who the "link" numbers belong to?
Trimmer Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 Can you explain in more detail what a "link" is? Are you talking about a speed-dial entry or a phone book entry, where you just pick someone by name, and hit "Send"? Or is it something else?
Author Raylene Posted October 2, 2006 Author Posted October 2, 2006 It is a Nextel phone, so he has a regular phone number, plus the phone is equipped with what is best described as a walkie-talkie type feature. so in addition to the regular number he has a link number. If he has someone elses link number he can just press the button on the side and tlak to them via walkie-talkie. So, although I may be able to access his contact numbers for links, I have no way of knowing who they belong to as I can't go to a pay phone an d dial them.
Trimmer Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 OK, understood. Sorry, I don't know about the technical details of this feature... Thanks for the clarification. How about just calling the cell phone company and asking them about the usage details. Tell them you're thinking of getting this model phone and this service for your child, and you want to know how much parental oversight you will have. If they say yes, ask whether you have to set that up specially, or whether it comes as a normal feature of service. That should give you some insight. Also, some cell companies don't print much detail on the paper bill, but if you sign up for their online access, you can get more detailed info that way (phone numbers, call times, etc.) That's how I discovered the magic bundle of information that told me a lot about my STBXW...
Guest Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 If you are comfortable enough to spy on your SO by checking cellphone records, then the likelihood is that there already is a problem - either with your SO, yourself or both. I don't know where you live (laws vary) but unless you're married and looking for evidence to support an adultery action in divorce court, what do you hope to gain? Wouldn't it be better to tell your SO that you're unhappy and suspect infidelity? If your SO is going to lie to you, your access to the cellphone records is not going to make confession more likely.
Author Raylene Posted October 2, 2006 Author Posted October 2, 2006 Yes, I know my looking at cell phone records will not make confession likely. I am simply seeking the truth because I have, in fact, voiced my suspicions due to several red flags, and he tells me I am just being paranoid,to suspect anything. We have lived together several years. I love him and don't want to split up, so I suppose I am seeking either peace of mind, or confirmation so I can move on, one way or the other. BTW, he looks at my cell phone recent calls too. Our relationship started off with me feeling he would NEVER cheat and now it has gotten to the point, years later, that there is alot of red flags and I am either in denial or nuts, as he says. So, consider me wanting to find out for sure if I am nuts or in denial. There is obvious problems in the relationship with trust or I wouldn't even be on this site titled infidelity.
Just 'nother MM Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 "I love him and don't want to split up" I don't mean to sound harsh, but you may not have a choice. If your SO is having an affair, then there are significant problems in your relationship and in your SO that you may find impossible to resolve. "I suppose I am seeking either peace of mind, or confirmation so I can move on, one way or the other." Cellphone records won't tell you the whole story. Your SO spending an inordinate amount of time on the phone with another person is not necessarily indicative of an A. And if your SO denies an A, what will you do next? Your SO might become more secretive and go to even greater lengths to protect his/her privacy. "Our relationship started off with me feeling he would NEVER cheat and now it has gotten to the point, years later, that there is alot of red flags and I am either in denial or nuts, as he says." You are probably not in denial or nuts. Follow your instincts. Red flags are designed to alert you to danger. If your SO is not hiding something, then you should be able to: (1) make an argument demonstrating why you feel something is wrong, and (2) have access to the cellphone records. Your SO might become angry if you ask for cellphone records. But I believe that the anger would be mitigated by your SO's desire to fix what's wrong in the relationship and to prove his/her fidelity. Watch out if your SO continues to say you're in denial or nuts. It's usually a bad sign.
Rooster_DAR Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 If you are comfortable enough to spy on your SO by checking cellphone records, then the likelihood is that there already is a problem - either with your SO, yourself or both. I don't know where you live (laws vary) but unless you're married and looking for evidence to support an adultery action in divorce court, what do you hope to gain? Wouldn't it be better to tell your SO that you're unhappy and suspect infidelity? If your SO is going to lie to you, your access to the cellphone records is not going to make confession more likely. Asking somebody if their cheating/having affair never works, they would die before they gave any information up. People that cheat or have affairs will keep the S/O hanging around until they are sure that the O/P is going to work out, thus leaving the current S/O on a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. If your gut feeling is telling you something and the S/O is being secretive, it's time to get busy my friend. Good luck
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