higherground5 Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 So I started dating this girl a couple of months ago, and come to find out she got out of a five year relationship like a month before we started hanging out. Over time I learned that her previous relationship was really awful, especially the last year...so SHE broke it off. As we started hanging out we agreed to take it slow and not make a dedicated commitment. After a few weeks past, she came to me and said she's ready to make a commitment to me. I did agree to the commitment, but now I'm having second thoughts. Does this sound like it could be a rebound relationship and not work in my favor? Someone please help. Forbin-
Pyro Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 So I started dating this girl a couple of months ago, and come to find out she got out of a five year relationship like a month before we started hanging out. Over time I learned that her previous relationship was really awful, especially the last year...so SHE broke it off. As we started hanging out we agreed to take it slow and not make a dedicated commitment. After a few weeks past, she came to me and said she's ready to make a commitment to me. I did agree to the commitment, but now I'm having second thoughts. Does this sound like it could be a rebound relationship and not work in my favor? Someone please help. Forbin- Chances are that it may just be a rebound relationship. It seems merely impossible for someone to be ready to move on after one month after being in a five-year relationship. My advice would be to back out of this one. If you think that there may be an outside chance of things working, then do take things slow, try to not fall for her right away and look out for any red flags that indicate that she is not over her ex. Good luck.
alphamale Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 back out of the commitment...that way she'll want you even more. and yes its probably a rebound relationship for her so you'll be disposable after her needs are fullfilled.
Author higherground5 Posted October 2, 2006 Author Posted October 2, 2006 "Chances are that it may just be a rebound relationship. It seems merely impossible for someone to be ready to move on after one month after being in a five-year relationship." Well, sure. But this doesn't change even if she's the one that broke it off? Also, do you think it's possible for someone to fall out of love with someone for a long time, but stay in the relationship because it's easier? We started seeing eachother slowly at first, then things picked up...we have been hanging out for about two months..so in theory it's been about 3 months since the break up, and it was only until recently she said she wanted to commit to me. I mean I questioned this because of the obvious rebound reasons...but she claimed she was over him long before the relationship ended. I mean yes, it was 5 years...so you are saying there is no chance for her to be ready? She said she is..we are compatible..and she also mentioned this is "too good to be true". We have done a pretty good job communicating our concerns. "try to not fall for her right away and look out for any red flags that indicate that she is not over her ex. Good luck." Well, what are these so called "red" flags? "back out of the commitment...that way she'll want you even more. and yes its probably a rebound relationship for her so you'll be disposable after her needs are fullfilled." Well, so making a commitment is not an option and this will have an adverse affect on how she feels towards me? I understand if I give her what she wants that might push her away subconsciously, but it won't push her away if I don't make a commitment? I mean this girl obviously wants me...she invited to her parents house last weekend...sooo???
Author higherground5 Posted October 2, 2006 Author Posted October 2, 2006 "is she still in contact in anyway with the ex?" So we were walking home from a local bar and she received a text from her ex saying "why is your car parked on 'anonymous' street?". Apparently, he was driving home from work or something and noticed her car on the side of the street. So she asked of me to walk a different route so we wouldnt run into him and get into a confrontation, so we did. Other than that, I snooped, by accident, at her text messages and it seems that he was sending her "sexual references about how he is the only one to ever get her off multiple times etc", so based on the context of his messages, and it looks like she was replying to him. So is she in contact with him in anway...yes, but I don't believe they are hanging out or seeing each other at all. I also believe she took his number out of her phone...it definitely seems like she hasn't been initiating the contact with him at all. On top of that, she keeps on assuring me he's out of the equation completely. Why do you ask?
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