himth Posted October 1, 2006 Posted October 1, 2006 I found out my wife of 9 years has been having an affair with a coworker for at least a year. And I have good proof of that.When i've called her out she just lies. I've also caught her in the lies. I would love to get councelling and work through this,but how can you when she wont even admit it. I do have a feeling its over between them,because i found his number on her cell phone,and I called it. I left him some pretty rude messages. well he changed his cell phone number.They both work at a state job. So i know they could get into some deep trouble,or even fired. But I dont have the heart to do that to my wife. Oh yea did I mention he is also married? I also found their motel reservation(by accident)and cancelled it. If I cant get her to admit it,I cant get her to promise anything,and I cant get her to councelling. I really hope for some good advice. Thank you for listening.
Bryanp Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 I think it is very important that you contact the OM's wife as soon as possible. Wouldn't you want to know if the roles were reversed? I would also insist that the both of you be tested for STD's. Marriage counseling is a must. If she refuses to be honest with you then what is the point? No consequences to her actions equals no motivation to change. A year is a long time to be lying to you and screwing another guy behind your back. If the roles were reversed do you think your wife would be so kind hearted and accepting as you? If you don't respect yourself then who will?
LakesideDream Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 Children? If you are sure you are correct.. it's curtains if she won't fess up, unless of course you are content to be a human doormat for the duration of your marriage.
Flyin in Clouds Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 If you don't get a lawyer - and the best one around - you'll get screwed. Don't act rashly - don't throw her out or change the locks or any of that, but I'd start preparing for a divorce. I would not let her know that is in the works until your attorney tells it's time to deliver the papers. Keep records, evidence, bank statements, etc. Look she cheated. How on earth could you ever trust her again? She's a liar. Her word - her vows mean nothing to her. And what makes you think this is the first and only time? And yes I'd tell the other man's wife. She deserves to know. Of course without proof, like a picture, she'll probalby be in denial. Again, don't do anything without your attorney's advise. Now if it was me, the only way I'd stay is if the whole marriage contract was re-written. Get a divorce, sign a pre-nup, and then maybe get remarried, so that it was clear if she cheats again she doesn't get a darn thing, not one penny. And it would have to be clear that I had the right to have 3 times the women as she's had men. Not just getting even, but getting ahead. If she doesn't accept those terms then it would be a divorce, good-bye and good ridance.
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