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The Problem With Being Too Nice


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Posted

Probably the biggest hurdle I have in getting a second date is that after the first date girls always say to me I'm "too nice" and they see me as just a friend or "like a brother". Well, that's better than nothing but it's not what I want so what am I supposed to do? I'm not a liar, a cheat, a drunk, control freak or drug user but girls always seem more attracted to those types. Would I get more girlfriends if I was like them? Exactly how 'less nice' should I be?

 

WHAT IS IT THAT GIRLS WANT??? :(

Posted
Probably the biggest hurdle I have in getting a second date is that after the first date girls always say to me I'm "too nice" and they see me as just a friend or "like a brother". Well, that's better than nothing but it's not what I want so what am I supposed to do? I'm not a liar, a cheat, a drunk, control freak or drug user but girls always seem more attracted to those types. Would I get more girlfriends if I was like them? Exactly how 'less nice' should I be?

 

WHAT IS IT THAT GIRLS WANT??? :(

 

My guess is that you're a happy, chatty first date. Try being a bit cooler and don't be quite so open. If she likes you, she'll feel a little nervous and compelled to fill the silence herself. If I'm wrong, then ignore this.

 

The other option is just to be however you are, and figure that you won't click with them all. Sooner or later some girl will want more with you.

Posted

I used to be exactly like that, but you don't really have to change much bro. You do have to make her laugh though, learning to find humor in something can be hard to do. Also, tease her sometimes. It's no fun when all you do is kiss her ass.

Posted
Probably the biggest hurdle I have in getting a second date is that after the first date girls always say to me I'm "too nice" and they see me as just a friend or "like a brother". Well, that's better than nothing but it's not what I want so what am I supposed to do? I'm not a liar, a cheat, a drunk, control freak or drug user but girls always seem more attracted to those types. Would I get more girlfriends if I was like them? Exactly how 'less nice' should I be?

 

WHAT IS IT THAT GIRLS WANT??? :(

 

Just remember that you are not going to connect with every girl that you date. Thats just impossible. I can understand the frustration that you have, but don't let it bring you down.

 

First thing first, do not turn into a liar, a cheat, or any of that other stuff that you listed above. Just relax on these dates. Have fun, flirt, don't spill out all your emotions and thoughts on her on the first date.

Posted

The problem with being to nice is not just a problem for the men.

 

People think that you are a pushover if you are too nice.

plus it is annoying!

 

Op has to get his game on without being a player, if that makes sense...

Posted

Take Riddler's advice and be yourself...don't be fake, that's false advertising. Be the real you. A wonderful lady who is looking for somebody just like you will respond positively and the two of you will live happily ever after. The others are rejecting you, not because you are too nice, but because they aren't looking for somebody just like you...and that's good. If every girl you came in contact with was looking for somebody just like YOU, your life would be more chaotic and complicated than you can imagine.

 

If you are being too nice because you have low self esteem or lack confidence, then you better work on those things. Whatever way you are, just be real!

Posted

The girls you are dating are looking for a different type of guy than you. You need to realize this and not get discouraged. Now if you are looking to score with many women then you may need to change your approach to women and not project the nice, safe guy personna.

Posted

Lot's of women are into drama, and guys that are not in it for the game don't provide this drama and challenge. Don't worry, you don't want that kind of girl anyway, chances are if you do mask who you are to get a chick, when you become yourself again she will wind up straying.

 

Good luck

Posted
chances are if you do mask who you are to get a chick, when you become yourself again she will wind up straying.

people "mask" their real selves all the time. what's wrong with that? I don't buy into the "be yourself" theory because then there is no incentive to change your behaviours and habit. "Be Yourself" = maintain status quo.

 

Try to learn from your successes and failures and change your outlook and change yourself for the better. Be spontaneous and unpredictable.

Posted

What Tony T said.

 

Ariadne

Posted
What Tony T said.

typical female response...."be yourself" and "be nice guy"....ha ha what a joke!

Posted
female response...."be yourself" and "be nice guy"....ha ha what a joke!

 

Good thing he wants to date females and not you.

Posted

he is just looking for a second date, let's get him to the second date...

 

and not think beyond that

Posted

Hey,

 

typical female response...."be yourself" and "be nice guy"....ha ha what a joke!

 

Yeah yeah... Tony T is cool.

 

He gave a good advice,

 

Ariadne :rolleyes:

Posted
Hey,

 

typical female response...."be yourself" and "be nice guy"....ha ha what a joke!

 

Yeah yeah... Tony T is cool.

 

He gave a good advice,

 

Ariadne :rolleyes:

 

Ariadne,

 

Would you go on a date with Tony T or Alphamale?

Posted

Would you go on a date with Tony T or Alphamale?

 

Oh, I'd have to smell them first :o

 

Ariadne

Posted
Would you go on a date with Tony T or Alphamale?

 

Oh, I'd have to smell them first :o

 

Ariadne

 

 

 

ha ha... here here

Posted
people "mask" their real selves all the time. what's wrong with that? I don't buy into the "be yourself" theory because then there is no incentive to change your behaviours and habit. "Be Yourself" = maintain status quo.

 

Try to learn from your successes and failures and change your outlook and change yourself for the better. Be spontaneous and unpredictable.

 

In think in this case this guys case he needs to be himself. You can be yourself and implement self improvement by discovering who you are and what you want. I agree with the spontaneous and unpredicatable though, and yes it's somewhat of a game. Always has been, always will be!

Posted
Would you go on a date with Tony T or Alphamale?

 

Oh, I'd have to smell them first :o

 

Ariadne

 

I'm sure I smell much better than Alphamale!!! haha BUT, he is truly a nice guy and working diligently on himself. I am just myself.

 

One of the problems of being too nice is you have to take the time to let everybody smell you!

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