2 months to go before going on my first date...Questions

[confusedgeek]

Hi there,

 

I'm going to see my girlfriend in a different country in about 2 months come december. Incidently, this is also going to be my first date with a girl.

 

A little background info here first, I came to loveshack.org about 1 year ago to get advice about asking a girl I barely knew out onto a date. The advice was good, although, nothing came out of it because the girl was not interested. She didn't directly tell me that but after not hearing a call back, it was pretty obvious, she wasnt interested in me.

 

So I moved on, and started chatting with the opposite sex online, hoping to practice my verbal communication with women. I guess after being rejected, I wanted to find someone who liked me back.

 

I met this girl online, and even up till today, we still talk, chat, see each other via webcam every day. Somewhere along the line, she became my girlfriend, even though, we never really met each other. But that is going to change in 2 months. A few months ago, I bought a plane ticket so that I could go see her in her country. Im not exactly a rich person, so it took a long time to save up the money for the ticket, and plan out my vacation from work before seeing her. I decided to risk it and spend 2 weeks out in her country in december.

 

I think I risked it because I wanted to find out if we really have something together. Im finding out that Im having feelings for this person. And I also think she has feelings for me. And its a pretty awesome feeling, and I dont think it would have been possible without some help from the loveshack.org forum posters.

 

Anyways, getting onto the much needed advice. Its just that when I go there by plane, I want to look good for my girlfriend when I get off the plane.

Im not exactly a stylish person, I prefer jeans and a t-shirt.

 

I asked her would it be alright if I just go and meet her in my jeans and t-shirt. She said she'd just be happy that we'd meet in december.

She is awesome just for saying that. But I guess I want impress her the minute I get off the plane.

 

Im a big guy, at a little over 200 lbs, 5' 8", black hair, brown eyes. Its just that I dont know how to improve my look by way of clothes, hair cut, etc. And was wondering how do I go about looking good.

 

Thanks in advance,

 

- ConfusedGeek

[Steff_a_nie]

I read your post and my advice to you is the following:

 

Don't change anything about yourself.

She likes you the way you are on the inside and out (I say that because she's seen you on webcam and if she didnt like you, she wouldnt want you to go see her in the first place)

 

She likes you for you.

 

You'll do fine, i promise .

 

(i know how nervous this can make a person, i have been in a LDR for 3 years now and the first time i saw my boyfriend, i was almost throwing up just because of the nerves -- But then you get over that and you feel like you've known that person your entire life)

[tanbark813]

Well, first off, most people look better in person than they do in pictures anyway. And I mean regular pictures, not professional photographers with fancy equipment and Photoshop.

 

You have 2 months before your trip so some regular exercise beforehand could help get you in a little better shape.

 

Don't try too hard to impress her with your clothes. You want to look good, of course, but part of looking good is feeling comfortable in what you're wearing. If you spend a lot of money on some outfit that makes you feel awkward, it will be worse than just wearing what you like.

 

Also, like Steff said, don't make too drastic of a change. You run the risk of coming off as dishonest in the sense of not representing who you really were when you guys were chatting online.

 

Finally--and at the risk of sounding cheesy--a big smile when you get off the plane to show her that you're excited to see her will go a long way.

[Steff_a_nie]

  tanbark813 said:

Finally--and at the risk of sounding cheesy--a big smile when you get off the plane to show her that you're excited to see her will go a long way.

 

I totally agree...

[confusedgeek]

So guess the agreement is no change in clothes. I can do that.

 

A few more questions here if you guys dont mind, do you think its acceptable to give her a nice long hug after getting off the plane?

 

Perhaps even a kiss?

[tanbark813]

A hug would be fine. A kiss might be a bit awkward. Give her at least a couple of hours to feel comfortable with you in person. A few drinks might help too.

[confusedgeek]

Ok, lets assume we also hug at the airport. When your walking towards the taxi or somewhere side by side, would it also be alright to hold her hand at that point? Or is this too much as well?

[tanbark813]

You're better off not planning what you're going to do. Don't worry about it. If it feels comfortable at the time to hold her hand, then do so. If not, then don't.

 

You're spending two weeks with her, bro, don't be so concerned with rushing the action between the plane and the taxi.