Bogun Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 This is part venting, part warning to people reading this that think about getting in touch with an ex..... I emailed my ex from a year and a half ago. Why I did....I'm not sure. I was going through some problems in my life and wasnt able to get in touch with any family or friends that I felt comfortable talking to, so I think thats probably why I got in touch with my ex. I hadnt had any kind of contact with her for almost a year and while I would occassionally think about her and felt that I still loved her, I was happy again and getting on with my life. That was 3 months ago... Over that time we've been emailing every few days and she has been genuinely happy to hear from me. I even gave it a shot and suggested we try again. It just seemed that the reasons for us breaking up were tied up with the pain and effects of a rape in her past and us living apart, so i thought it was worth us trying again without us living apart this time.....but no, my suggestion was politely rejected. Since then I've found out that she has got into using party drugs, and most recently that a guy that she had told me she dated for a bit but was now just a friend is actually more than that. She didnt want to say that before as she knew it would be hard to hear. When I met her she was carrying around so much pain from her past and I tried so hard to help her deal with things. I had so much patience for her and really adored her. I know that I was the first guy in her life to really respect her. She would tell me that she felt 100% comfortable around me and that she could be her real self with me. Now, despite the occassional drug use, she sounds really happy and that she is turning into the woman I knew she could be when I met, so I'm happy for her. But its a bittersweet happiness. She says she would like to stay friends with me, as we were really close, but understands if I dont want to do that now that I know the truth about this person she's seeing. Ours had not been an abusive relationship, nor had anyone cheated....it really just feels as though life never gave us a real chance, and its too late to try and change that now. I was ok before I emailed her this year and really felt that I could handle talking to her again, but now I feel awful. So people, no matter how long its been since you've had contact, even if you think you're over them.....dont do it. Its not worth putting yourself in the situation I'm now in.
Jane Doe Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 Great words of wisdom! I hope you're feeling better soon. You need to pick right up where you left off and put this behind you.
In Sync Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 Much appreciation to read your advice....sometimes a closed door just needs to stay shut.
MsPiggy Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 Thanks for the advice. I was thinking of contacting a couple of people from my past that I had strong feelings for at one point and am very glad I didn't. Hope this pain goes away really soon for you.
loveinlife Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 Thanks Bogun, I guess the past is the past and we should always live forward.
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