figgurinoutlife Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 It feels so good to vent on here sometimes, I have been dealing with a 22 year old bi-polar ex for almost 3 years. 6mos. together and 2 years of being ex's. I just don't get her at all. I was always so good for her, I have my **** together. I am attractive, have a good job, house, friends, like to do fun things. This girl has been so up and down with me since we broke up, dating others then telling me she's still in love with me, has regrets of breaking up, etc. She has been considered a drama queen and always seems to pick unstable people to date. She has been dating this other guy for the past year and a half and he does drugs, sells them, is physically abusive, physically unnattractive, doesn't have a good job, and no life and he got her on drugs. She would always run to me when they are having problems and use me as a shoulder to cry on, then go back to him. Since she has been with him I have done NC off and on, which always gets a reaction usually after a month or so then we would be friends for a short time. The time we were friends she would act jealous if I talked about other girls, or ask me where I'm going, what I'm doing and would get mad if I didn't text her. I was sick of her **** so I did NC again for 1.5 mos until she came begging (literally) me back to "take things slow." Well what happened is I caved in sort of, thinking she was really sincere this time cause she left her bf, came to live with her mom and told me repeatedly that she wanted to change, start over with me and everyone. She said she has to have me in her life, loved me, has always still been in love with me, etc. She had comletely changed seemed and I was literally shocked! But then a couple weeks later she started talking to her ex more, wouldn't make future plans with me saying her mom would kill her if she got into another relationship now after all she's been through and that she needs time. I saw on their myspace pages that they have been making comments that made it seem they weren't over each other so I told her that she was not done with her ex yet and she said that she was done with him but not over him yet, and on her myspace she wrote a blog to him saying that she didn't know if she wanted it to be over, she was still madly, deeply in love with him and whomever he dates next is one lucky girl! So I sent her a few texts explaining how I felt about it then texted her a "goodbye" and she said "what the hell?" Then she started asking me if I was still going to loan her that gas money, and I ignored her, then hours later she asked me if I was going to work out, I ignored her. The next day she said "ya know it's rude to ignore someone." I ignored her again of course. Haven't heard from her since 3 days ago and I do not plan to call her or text her. I just don't get it. She said she wanted to turn her life around and that she didn't want to date her ex anymore, she said it numerous times. She knows he's bad for her but she keeps running back to him. Unstable needs unstable maybe? Do you think she'll ever want a stable relationship. I know I should probably keep ignoring her if she contacts me? I don't know if she will contact me though anymore.
Jane Doe Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 Oh my Lord, please run from this woman! She sounds like trouble with a capital T. Do not get drawn back into her drama. I've known a lot of bipolar people in my life and unless they're on medication that they take religiously and have monitored closely, they're often a wreck 24/7. Unless you want a rollercoaster ride from now on, leave her alone. She has nothing to offer you but hassle and pain.
daphne Posted October 1, 2006 Posted October 1, 2006 This woman is so drama filled, I can't figure out what the appeal is. You dated for 6 months and you let her walk all over you like this? It sounds like you don't realize your worth. You sound like you have a a lot going for you, but you're settling for less. Don't you think you deserve better?
Author figgurinoutlife Posted October 1, 2006 Author Posted October 1, 2006 Well she has been my first serious girlfriend that's why I have trouble letting her go and I guess I am too sympathetic to her illness, and she is on medication for it. Geez, do you think I am a cycle for her and she will keep trying to come back in my life?
westernxer Posted October 1, 2006 Posted October 1, 2006 I have my **** together. Not if you have to deal with her.
Sand&Water Posted October 1, 2006 Posted October 1, 2006 Figgurinoutlife, Firstly, I'd like to ask: Where do you stand? [i.e. how do you feel about her, and where do you see the situation going in the future]. With that said, I want to warn you of a few things. As time goes by, the situation will increase in complexity. Since, she is bi-polar, I suggest you tread slowly around her. Do not play tug-of-war with her. This will drive her in a chaotic rage. She will always be coming back to you, sharing you and asking for help. Hence, you should lay out the law for her. Make your expectations clear as a bell, and follow the routine you set in place for yourself. I recommend you just stay friends with her. Only friendship, for now. Be there for her, as a friend; mentor; father-figure if you wish. Establish a stable friendship, if it is possible. If you cannot be friends with her, at this moment in time, then you must do No Contact for a long time [God forbid, forever]. Move on, like you have severly intoxicated yourself with cyanide and no longer can communicate with her. Something to think about. Sand&Water
Author figgurinoutlife Posted October 1, 2006 Author Posted October 1, 2006 Why do you say I should just be friends with her?
Clevelandfan Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 She is certainly LYING to you and is enjoying all the drama being involved with 2 guys. Trust me,..I've been through this crap. She sounds like my ex. except not near as bad. She will lie, cheat and steal to get what she wants. At least that's the type of woman you've depicted. You'll end up much better off if you run in the other direction as soon as possible. Remember,..tigers have a hard time changing their stripes.
Yamaha Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 She knows you are the safe guy who she can count on when she needs a friend. She also uses your liking her to her advantage by coming back for a time and then leaving because she likes the excitement of the other guy. I would recommend doing NC for life as she is not the type of girl for you. She knows this but there is a part of her every once in a while that wishes she could be happy with you but then the other girl comes out and you are but a memory. Unless you enjoy the roller coaster relationship tell her bye and wish her well.
D-Lish Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 run screaming in the other direction... Quickly. Don't look back. Revert to NC and stick to it this time. Find a nice stable girl that makes you feel good about yourself. That is what you deserve. D
Author figgurinoutlife Posted October 2, 2006 Author Posted October 2, 2006 I agree. I am on day 5 of strict NC and I already feel better. She texted me earlier and said "I just wanted to say hi" I didn't respond of course but just was aggravated that she is acting like all is fine. Then I ran across her myspace hours later and she has a new pic. of her and her ex up. So I'm like what the hell was that about, why even text me now because you haven't for 4 days!
johan Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 I think she sounds like a sweetheart. She just needs love. You should send her flowers.
magichands Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 I think she sounds like a sweetheart. She just needs love. You should send her flowers. I just got one of those email "reminders" about my ex's birthday. Say it with flowers, indeed. Life is cruel enough, without stirrers like you chiming in. Haha...just kidding. So, johan, do you think I should heed this reminder??
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