hugznkisses21 Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 Hey Guys!! I have a question for anyone willing to answer hehehehe I have been with my bf for 3 mths now - we have a great relationship = lots of love and communication.... I just recently about a mth ago moved out on my own. Now me and my bf see eachother 3 or more times a week couple times during the week and most of the weekend. No i dont like to pressure him about this topic - but it bugs me a bit that he doesnt bring anything up about staying over night...he has twice since i moved here and a couple times before that when i lived at home. We have a healthy sex life so its not the intimacy. I have asked him and he says that - he isnt going to stay over all time and stuff, that i cant expect this every weekend....that he doesnt get good sleep outside of his regular bed (this is true - i can witness his tossing and turing and getting a headache the next day) so can someone just ease my thoughts as to thinking maybe he just doesnt want to sleep with me - literally - cause im taking this one personally. Thanks Guys!
Hitman10000 Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 Well this one is easy, he's probably one of those types that likes to have the bed to himself. Nothing personal against you, surely something can work out between the two of you.
Sally00 Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 Don't take it personally. Some guys just don't want to get too attached too soon or whatever. Sleeping together is a pretty big step. Wait a minute. Ya'll have sex. Um, I don't know then. He probably finds HIS bed a lot more comfy... probably snores too loud and doesn't want to wake you up... etc.
Author hugznkisses21 Posted September 30, 2006 Author Posted September 30, 2006 hey thanks for your replys.... I will try not to take this personally. I guess i just really love haveing someone next to me and i know for a fact he LOVES his time and his bed. This is true. We do sleep together but he was very genuine about this step and wanted to ask me to be his gf and be only with him before we every got physical so i dont think its his getting sex and thats it. But i think u guys are right about him wanted his bed and stuff..maybe with time He has expressed to me that he loves me very much and he shows itw ith his actions - takes time to be with me and do all those things other guys never did with me or for me - so i guess this one threw me for a loop. he has talked about saving our money and within the future being in our own place - and i know he wants a future with me so i guess this is one of those things where he wants his own bed for the time being until he makes that step with me to be in that bed every night....thoughts??
Green Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 if he doesnt sleep with you he probably doesnt feel that comfortable with you. Yeah of coarse he wants to make it seem like he really likes you he can't treat you like a total hooker and expect more sex. if he really liked you hed bite the bullet and spend the night heck when I really liked a girl I let her spend the night with me in my horribly cramped twin bed
Author hugznkisses21 Posted September 30, 2006 Author Posted September 30, 2006 Hi KMT, Thanks for your inputt - he has only slept with one other girl in which he spent 3 years with a couple years ago - he doesnt veiw sex in that way i can reassure that - even his closest friends of which have become close with me know he hasnt been with anyone else and he isnt one to just get sex - otherwise he would be trying to get it all the time and leave but he doesnt
Green Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 olright so why did you ask the question? If it is so clear that even though he never wants to sleep over, something that is great to do fall asleep with some one you really care about that he still definetly cares for you and you know all his friends and your so sure everything is perfect why even ask. It definetly could be a bad sign I'll tell you one thing if he never sleeps over you two will never move intogather massive amounts of sleep overs have to happen before the move in. but what ever everythings absolutely perfect you know all his friends, hes only been with one other girl and your the last one right... I'll add this disclaimer incase everything is as you say well great for you guys very odd that he says and does the things you say and always refuses to spend the night
Hitman10000 Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 I like to add my own perspective if I were to get out of my own room mate situation and I have my own apartment with a sofa couch or another bedroom, I will make her sleep away from me. I've slept by myself in my entire life and I shouldn't be comfortable in an INSTANT to allow someone else to be close to me. If I can't get enough sleep or vice versa for her, one or both of us will wake up grumpy and resentful of each other. Who wants that? (To you people who say "If he's not comfortable, he probably doesn't like you") I mean, I think it's cool if we were to sleep seperate, I can wake up and cook breakfast and bring it to her when she wakes up. I think that's very romantic for the woman (or vice versa.) Again to add firing power to my argument against those who think it's "unintimate" that two people don't sleep in the same bed: Two people who became BF/GF didn't sleep in the same bed before and liked each other, what's wrong with sleeping seperation. She can just come to my bed and we f*ck and then I shoo her away (or vice versa.)
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