guest Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 This is my problem... I am only 31 and so is my husband. We have 3 children but I still want sex- like all the time- but I never get it...Maybe once every couple of weeks on the average. We have been married 4 years but this has been going on for a while. He is an attractive man with no physical problems to keep him from giving it up so how much sex is normal? I feel like I am going crazy. Lately all I can think about is sex with other men. I have flat out told him what I am thinking and that it bothers me but he doesn't seem to care! So my question is- Do I have grounds for an affair? Should I suffer in silence? I am sooooooooooooo tired of breaking out the toys at night while my husband sleeps in the recliner. Recently an ex approached me and said he would take care of me and keep it on the down low- and gosh- I have half thought about it. What should I do? I am not sure I want a divorce- but I need sex!
burning 4 revenge Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 This proves why so many people say marriage is stupid.
whichwayisup Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 So my question is- Do I have grounds for an affair? NO! Buy a fricken viberator. GO To marriage counselling, TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND and tell him that you';re considering an affair cuz he ain't givin' it to ya enough. I can't believe you're asking this question. OK, well one day IF your husband ever cheats on you, I hope you look past it because to CHOOSE to cheat on your spouse because you aren't getting it enough, as you have 3 kids, work etc, busy life, THEN come back and report back that he says i'ts OK for you to screw someone else..Then go for it. I highly doubt this issue is worth divorcing over, but if you feel like throwing away your marriage, ruining your children's lives over YOUR own sex life, then end the marriage. Cuz it's all about YOU and what YOU want.
whichwayisup Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 I have flat out told him what I am thinking and that it bothers me but he doesn't seem to care! Oops, I missed this line. Ok, well, you go ahead and have sex with your ex. Trust me, you'll come home and find ALL the locks on your door changed. Duh, like your husband is going to let you screw another man! He's baiting you. So, yeah, go and do that. ... Let's see what you feel the next day and look at 3 pairs of little eyes to tell them why mommy and daddy are divorcing. Can you justify this to yourself? If so, then you shouldn't have had kids.
stoopid_guy Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 So my question is- Do I have grounds for an affair? Should I suffer in silence? I am sooooooooooooo tired of breaking out the toys at night while my husband sleeps in the recliner. Recently an ex approached me and said he would take care of me and keep it on the down low- and gosh- I have half thought about it. What should I do? I am not sure I want a divorce- but I need sex!This is not a decision to take lightly. The problem is that witholding affection is not grounds for divorce, but adultry is. So if you seperate and go for divorce, you'll be on equal grounds with your husband. If your husband petitions for divorce on grounds of adultry, he'll have the "moral high ground" advantage if it gets nasty. Why did you split with the ex? Is he a considerate guy? Do you trust him? What are you willing to risk? Do you want to stay married? Is lack of sex the only problem with your husband? Is he a good Dad? Can you work things out with him? Would he consider counseling? Can you sneak away? What are your schedules like? Do you have a place to meet? If you want to stay married but have an affair, you need to hide it well. Stop complaining to your hubby about sex. Don't give him any reason to suspect, and if he suspects now, "cool it" for a month or three. Study and plan. There's much you can learn here. I highly doubt this issue is worth divorcing over, but if you feel like throwing away your marriage, ruining your children's lives over YOUR own sex life, then end the marriage. Cuz it's all about YOU and what YOU want.Her hubby doesn't think it's worth divorcing over either. You'll find lots of folks on this board who's marriages are on the rocks because one spouse is clueless as to how big a deal it can be.
confused hw Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 this is for user "WHICHWAYISUP"- I appreciate your insight- however one thing that burns me is when someone questions a stranger that does not know all the details of their marriage about their choice to have children. My children are first and foremost #1 and they know it. However being a mother doesn't mean that you no longer have a life or rights to a sexually charged marriage. Maybe I should have mentioned in my post that my husband HAS cheated on me. I am the mom at home cooking the roast while my man is out sticking his unit in god knows who and yet he is able to somehow come home and eat my dinner and tuck his kids in at night without guilt or remorse apparently- but hey- "ITS ALL ABOUT ME" isn't it?
whichwayisup Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 When you post on a public forum, you're going to get all sorts of advice. If you don't like it, that's fine. But, for the future, maybe putting in more detail about the fact your husband has cheated on you would have changed my reply to you. . However being a mother doesn't mean that you no longer have a life or rights to a sexually charged marriage I didn't mean to imply that mom's cannot have a life outside of their children. Ofcourse people need to still live life! That still doesn't make it right to go outside of the marriage to have sex. Fact is, both of you have cheated on eachother, so the trust is gone. Question now is, DO you want this marriage to work? Or is it best now to end it and move on.
Sup Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 Your husband may be cheating on ya again. I wouldn't cheat though, too many diseases out there. Find out if hubby is cheating again and Divorce him, if that's you want. You can put a keylogger on the computer, and check cellphone records for starters.
Flyin in Clouds Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 My wife isn't giving me enough sex... maybe we could get together and solve each other's problem. LOL.... Just because our spouse isn't up to our libido doesn't give us the right to unilaterally break our vows. It is grounds to get a divorce though... Have you tried dragging him to a swing club? Maybe he'd like to try that lifestyle for a while. You get some new studs, he gets some new nooky. Every one's happy. Be safe tough... And yeah, I suggested the swing club idea to the wife.... she didn't go for it though... lol...
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